Man's Favorite Sport? Page #6

How do you know?

The wire just came. They had to call

off the Oregon tournament... Bad storm.

He's driving up here this

afternoon. Hoo-hoo! Hallelujah!

Roger, our problems are over. Oh, yeah?

Yes, we don't need you anymore.

We don't need you anymore.

You can get out of the tournament.

How? Walk up to Cadwalader...

and say, "Look, Joe Kilroy's

in town and, uh, I quit."

Just that simple? No,

you can't do it that way.

Lemme think.

Uh, you know the rain

is making your shirt...

I've got it!

What?

If you're not able to fish, you won't be

able to enter the tournament, will you?

I was saying that the...

Did you hear me?

I said, if you're not able to fish, you won't

be able to enter the tournament, will you?

You can break your leg! I'd rather fish.

Or an arm.

I'd rather fish!

I'm tryin' to tell ya... I don't

mean really break your arm, but...

what happens when you break

your arm? It snaps and it hurts.

What happens when you

have to treat it?

You put a cast on it.

You've got it!

Anybody who sees a cast on somebody's

arm assumes they've got a broken arm.

We know a little first aid.

We get some plaster of Paris,

go into that woodshed and get all

that stuff and put it on him. Yeah.

Roger, are you paying

any attention? Yes, I am.

Why aren't you

looking at us, then?

Because you look like

you haven't any clothes on.

That's what I've been trying

to tell you. Come on. Let's go.

Let's go change. Then we'll

meet in Roger's cabin. Yeah.

Roger, are you gonna carry

that thing with you?

Well, too bad, because you were

just learning to pick it up.

I'm really gonna kill her.

I'm really gonna do it.

Hey, Easy. Look what I found.

Just exactly what we need.

They're perfect. Please hold your

arm out. What're you gonna do?

Hold still. I wanna

measure this. What for?

Well, because we can't let

all that plaster stick to you.

Do you have a pair of

scissors? I've got a knife.

Just as good.

Hey, stop that!

Don't make so much trouble. That's

the only pair of long underwear I have.

They're still good.

They are, huh?

One leg is a little shorter than the

other, that's all. Now take off your shirt.

What're you gonna do with my shirt? We

can't put the cast on over your shirt.

Oh.

Easy, are you ready?

Yes, I'm ready.

Here now.

Put this leg on.

And tell me, how do you

want to wear your arm?

What do you mean?

In what position do you wanna

hold your arm? In a sling, I guess.

Something like that? Okay,

that's all right. Now, hang on.

There. Does that seem like the same position,

the same angle? Mm, I think that's all right.

Hold it exactly like that. I'll put

this here so you don't get too dirty.

You start with the plaster. I'll

start with the bandage. Okay.

Put your arm down.

Come on.

You just told me to keep it

up. We come back to that later.

Oh, boy! Hey, this stuff

is gettin' all squishy.

This is all there is left.

Should I make some more?

I think that's enough. What am I

supposed to do after I get this thing on?

Weren't you even listening

to us out there?

I was a little bit distracted

with the rain and everything.

I'm not quite sure I understand what I'm

supposed to do. Would you please tell him?

After we're through,

we'll explain...

that you broke your arm. How?

You fell out of this tree. That's

the way my brother broke his arm.

What was I doing in the tree? Well...

What was I doing?

I know.

There was this little teeny bird

that had fallen out of its nest,

and you were taking it back

to its mother.

And you're going to tell people

that? Don't you think I should?

Don't you think

they'll cry?

I'll think of something.

Don't worry. I hope so.

Don't move.

I'll get it.

Wait, it might be Tex. I wouldn't want

her to find a strange woman in my cabin.

Oh, I can

take care of that.

Big Chief Screaming Eagle here.

Who speak other end?

Who is it? Harry? It's me. It's

the desk clerk. What do you want?

The ranger just called. He said to tell

you Mr. Kilroy was on his way to the lodge.

Oh, okay.

Thanks, Harry.

What is it? Mr. Kilroy just

passed by the ranger station.

We have to get cleaned up

before we meet him. We better go!

You're not gonna leave me like

this? Don't worry. We'll be back.

We have to wait 'til the cast hardens,

anyway. How long will that take?

If you don't have a watch, let

me set this thing for ten minutes.

When the bell goes off, your cast is

done. Stay there 'til the bell rings.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How did it happen there,

Willoughby?

Well, an itty-bitty bird

fell on the ground...

and I was taking it back

to its mother.

Oh, no.

This is all wrong.

It oughta be like this.

It's all this up here.

Why'd they have to put it on my shoulder?

You'd think they were plastering a house.

They've got to get me

out of this.

Here comes your friend.

Evening, Major.

Evening.

First time I've been saluted

in years. That really felt good.

Nice boy. Very thoughtful. Yes, he is.

Ten-shun.

See that guy?

Roger, thank goodness!

I was looking for you.

I was looking for you. Look at this

arm. Look how I have to hold it.

It just doesn't make any

difference anymore. It does to me.

No, it doesn't. Come here and

look through this window. Why?

You see that man

with the cast on his arm?

Yeah. That is Joe Kilroy,

our Chicago champion.

He had

an automobile accident.

You can't both have broken

arms. His really is broken.

You mean I can't tell people

about the itty-bitty bird?

Right. I could've thought of something better.

Come on. We have to get that off your arm.

This saw ought to be

just the thing!

I don't think...

Put your arm down.

He's right. We couldn't tell where

the cast stops and the arm begins.

I think you're right.

How about the snippers?

Put your arm down.

I don't think...

There's not enough room between the

cast and the arm. That doesn't work.

I'm gonna call a doctor.

Wait, hold still.

That's pretty hard. A chisel

and hammer ought to do it.

Put your arm right down there.

Come on. Put your arm down.

Lean over this way. Down

flat so she can work on it.

Oh... Uh...

Ooh! Ohh!

That isn't going to work!

I know! Put his arm

over there in that vise.

I'm going to get a doctor.

You want that thing off or not?

Well, yes, but... Then

put your arm in here.

That's good. Wind him up tight. Okay.

This, this, this...

I'll get it.

Here we are.

- Oh, uh, uh...

- Hey, this is gonna work fine!

You're not gonna use that thing

on me! You said you wanted it off.

Not with that thing! It'll

be all over in a moment.

That's what I'm afraid of! You'll

never even know it happened.

O- O-Oh, please, Abby!

Shh! Roger.

Hello?

Hello, Roger? I can't sleep. Mm-hmm.

Who is this? This is

Abigail. I can't sleep.

Do you know

what time it is?

Just a minute.

I don't... I know what...

Hello? Hello?

I had to go in the other room

to look at the clock. It's 1:30.

I know it's 1:
30.

You do? Well, why did

you ask? Of course I do!

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