Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You Page #5

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Buy a size up and your

daughters and their pets

will be ready for next

year's holiday season.

(GASPS) What are

the Ingersolls doing here?

What's wrong?

They are big sponsors.

They're going to arrest me.

For modeling?

Shh!

Let's go.

Come on, Jack.

Don't fail me now.

MARIAH:
Jack performed as well as

I had imagined Princess would.

That's amazing!

I want a dog like that.

So cool!

What an amazing dog!

(WHISTLES)

MARIAH:
But that lasted

for about two seconds.

(APPLAUSE)

Ingrid, there's

something familiar

about that Santa suit,

isn't there?

(SHUSHING)

(WHISPERS) Sit, Jack.

(JACK WHIMPERS)

Oh!

(GASPS)

(INDISTINCT MURMURING)

Jack.

(BARKS)

Whoa!

(GIGGLING)

(JACK VOMITS)

Ahhh!

MR. TYABJI:
Keep calm,

ladies and gentlemen.

Stay in your seats. We'll get

janitorial in right away.

That's disgusting!

GIRL:
Gross.

MARIAH:
I don't know

how I ever lived that down.

I tried to repair some of

the damage Jack caused,

but things just kept going

downhill that Christmas.

(BILL GROANS)

Oh!

(LAUGHS)

Let's see you find

this one, Ingersoll.

Yes, yes, yes!

(SCREAMING)

(BILL GROANS)

(MARIAH SIGHS)

(BARKS)

I'm sure they don't want me

in the show anymore.

Oh, honey, I doubt that.

He hoarked up the sleeve

of my Santa suit!

(GRUNTS LOUDLY)

Hmm... Well...

Mr. Ingersoll's lights

stopped blinking again.

Mom, gotta get some more ribbon.

You stay.

Don't forget to close the door!

(LAUGHING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

MARIAH:
I don't think I ever

would have been bold enough

to sneak onto the Ingersolls'

property alone, at night,

but after all the trouble Jack had

caused, I guess I had nothing to lose.

(WHISPERS) Grandpa?

Grandpa?

Grandpa, are you here?

(GASPS)

MARIAH:

You gotta be kidding me.

Now, Mariah, it's not

what it looks like.

MARIAH:
Looks to me like

he was about to fall

into a fish pond

and get electrocuted.

Oh, no! Gosh! Wow!

I'm going to the outlet.

I'll unplug you.

Oh, forget about that 'cause

Ingersoll, of course, locked it.

Hmm, smart.

Okay, don't move.

Don't breathe.

Please don't fall.

Please don't fall.

(BOTH SHRIEK)

You are trespassing?

(SHUSHING)

Grandpa?

(CONTINUES SHUSHING)

(LAUGHING)

Oh, wow! If he falls through that

ice with all those lights on...

Zap!

Yeah. I get it.

I got a plan.

You have a plan?

If you can trespass,

I can have a plan.

Ooh!

(BRANCH CREAKS)

(GASPS)

Oh, gosh. Oh, gee.

Busted, jail time.

Juvie!

Drama queen.

Community service if.

Let's go!

Nuh-uh! I can't.

Can't move.

BRETT:
Too tall.

Too short.

Just right. Come on!

MARIAH:
What are we doing?

BRETT:
Lift this guy.

(STRUGGLING)

(SIGHS)

Come on, grab a leg.

No! Grandpa's leg.

Oh!

(MARIAH GASPS)

BRETT:
NOW pull!

(SCREAMS)

(MARIAH STRAINING)

Ooh!

Oh, dear.

(SIGHS)

(BARKING)

It's just us, little guy.

Hey, someone stole my sandwich.

Was it you, Jack, buddy?

LUCY:
Old man?

Where are you?

I'm coming.

That's it.

Ingersoll got me beat.

(BILL SIGHS)

You saved him.

MARIAH:
HOW humiliating.

My slacker little

brother had to take charge.

See?

I'm not totally worthless.

I know.

(BARKING)

(GIGGLING)

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

MARIAH:
Okay, so I guess

if it hadn't been for Jack,

I wouldn't have gone

to save Grandpa, either,

given I had nothing to lose

after Jack ruined my reputation

with my Community Charity League

director and my choir leader

and my principal and my friends.

(SIGHS)

I almost could

forgive him, but then...

(JACK BARKS)

(LOW GROWLING)

Jack! No!

Get back here, you little scamp!

(LAUGHTER)

It's Santa Claus!

OVER SPEAKER:
Ho-ho-ho!

I got you!!

Mommy, it's a monster!

I wanna go home!

(MARIAH GRUNTS)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

Come on, Jack. What did I tell

you about licking my face?

(GROANS)

Okay, not good.

MARIAH:
Not good at all.

I happened to know the elves were

the mayor's personal favorite,

and I think

the Ingersolls donated them.

I wasn't very confident about

getting Princess anymore.

It was the night

before Christmas Eve.

I only had one more day to prove

I could take care of a dog,

but I didn't think there was anything

worse Jack could do at this point.

(CHITTERING)

(LOW GROWL)

(BARKING)

(GROWLING)

PENELOPE:
What's going on?

BUD:
I'm sure it's nothing.

BRETT:
What's wrong?

What on Earth?

BILL:
Oh, dear.

What?

Huh. Priceless.

(BUD SNEEZES LOUDLY)

(MARIAH GASPS)

(SNEEZES)

(GASPS) It's Santa Claus!

It's Jack!

(BARKS)

What a mess you've made

of our living room, Jack!

He's made a mess of Christmas.

He's made a mess

of my whole life.

You're the worst dog ever!

I can't wait to get rid of you.

(WHINING)

Mariah! He's just a pup.

(sesame)

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS)

Uh, I'm sorry

I yelled at you, Jack.

Grandma's right.

You're just a pup.

(SIGHS)

Won't you come out?

Well, suit yourself.

MARIAH:
Now Jack really

had done his worst.

Or had he?

The fire is burning

The room's all aglow

Outside the December wind blows

Away in the distance

The carolers sing in the snow

(WHIMPERS)

Everybody's laughing

The world is celebrating

And everyone's so happy

except for me tonight

Because I miss you

Most at Christmas time

And I can't get you

Get you off my mind

Every other season comes along

and I'm all right

But then I miss you

MARIAH:
Jack?

Most at Christmas time

Jack!

Where are you hiding?

Brett! The door!

The shelter will call us

if they find him, honey.

There's nothing else we can do.

BUD:
I finished

calling the neighbors.

They couldn't...

They can't stand Jack.

They aren't gonna help.

Well, they haven't seen him.

Well, what will

I tell Uncle Reg?

He'll be heartbroken.

He'll never speak to me again.

Mariah,

I have a confession to make.

He wasn't really

Uncle Reggie's dog.

What?

What?

He was a stray Reggie found.

He was gonna drop him at the

shelter, but then I got...

One of your ideas?

BUD:
I got a collar.

I thought if you had

a taste of a brute like Jack,

you'd change your mind

about having a dog.

So you wouldn't have to say no.

Son, I might be

a devil of a prankster,

but even I wouldn't stoop

to such a rotten trick.

That's so, so...

Passive aggressive?

Yeah.

It was a dirty trick.

No one could have

handled that mutt.

I'm so sorry.

We still should find him.

We will, but there's somewhere

we need to be first.

That's right. The adoption center

closes early on Christmas Eve.

You mean...

Let's go pick up Princess.

Really?

We decided.

Decided.

Oh, Daddy! Thank you!

Hopefully Princess won't be

anything like Jack.

I'll say.

Huh?

Oh! You made it.

I wasn't sure you

were coming back.

Remember, Dougie,

I told you some folks had come

and put a deposit on this puppy.

Would you like to pick

out another pet, son?

No, thanks.

Not today.

Bye, Rascal.

(LOW WHIMPER)

Oh, my. That's the first time

she's ever made a sound.

I didn't know she could bark.

Come on, son.

Yeah, I know.

You snooze, you lose.

No, you don't lose.

Wait!

I...

What is it, sweetie?

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