Mark and Russell's Wild Ride Page #8

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wow, I was...

It was simply majestic, man.

I mean...

Don't mention it,

that's what heroes do.

- ANGELA:
Ooh.

- MARK:
You see, here I am,

just trying to give you

a nice compliment...

Uh, fellas?

( Background chatter )

Go get that license.

Oh, good, you're awake.

Are you sure that

this is what you want?

This is what I always wanted.

Shia LaBeouf,

I have always wanted

your autograph.

Ah, Mrs. Glenn?

Bufferton.

I'm so sorry, I'm not sure

if you took his last name.

If not I completely

understand why.

Um, but your husband,

he's got something

desperately to tell you.

What's wrong with him?

Outside of the usual stuff?

I'd say probably head trauma.

Look. I think it's great that

Glenn is making new friends,

but, I've been

over this before,

the spark is gone and so am I.

Mrs. Glenn, I know you've got

reason to doubt him, but...

Today, your husband

has pulled a calf muscle,

done time,

picked up out-of-the-way

dry cleaning,

put together a four,

may be a five serviceable

romantic speeches,

babysat a self-entitled

karate champ.

My mother's waiting.

He-he bounced off

a bus for you.

- No, he didn't.

- Yes, he did.

He did all that stuff.

For you.

You may think that you want

a more glamorous life,

you know, one with

voice mails and a new car,

but don't be so quick to throw

away what you already have.

'Cause what you already have has

been fighting for you all day.

And if you have

someone in your life

that knows you're

worth fighting for,

then you're right,

that's not a spark.

Mrs. Glenn, that's a fire.

H- how do I know he'll change?

You don't.

But if you walk away now,

you're gonna blow it.

Just trust me.

I know a thing or two

about choking the clutch.

Oh...

Oh, I hate crying,

almost as much as I hate fur.

Oh.

Toodle-bear?

Is that you?

Oh, honey, I miss you so much.

I picked up your dry cleaning.

It's scattered over Highway 46.

Oh!

They're not strangling

each other,

that's gotta be

a good sign, right?

- Yeah.

- True love.

You know it when you see it.

We did it! We did it!

Good-bye, booger-covered rump!

Hello, Ashley!

It's been fun, boys.

But I should probably get back

to my gang of knuckleheads.

It's almost dinnertime,

and none of them are allowed

to use a stove.

Hey, Angela.

It wasn't a Taser,

it was an inhaler.

I know.

Oh.

So this is what

victory feels like.

Yeah, it is!

( Both cheering )

Can you believe it, man?

We're just a twenty-minute

drive from the DMV,

and only a signature away

from the Promised Land.

Mr. Ninety-two percent pays off,

Thank you, internet.

No, I'm actually glad

we helped him.

You do good things

for good people,

and good things just happen.

WOMAN:
Mark!

Mark!

Ashley and Dean,

do make a cute couple.

You should probably

start working out.

Cannonball!

Glenn.

Why are you doing this?

Promises were made,

deals were struck.

Please come back.

( Mark screams )

Glenn's a jerk.

I can't believe he left us.

After everything

we did for him.

What kind of a selfish monster

abandons his friends

and loved ones without

so much as second thought?

You gotta call Angela, dude.

She's only our legal chaperon.

I can't call Angela.

We left on such a high.

Just when I thought this day

couldn't get

any more humiliating.

I think it's kind of fun.

( Tow truck towing )

Pick up the pace, slick,

and don't tell your sister.

Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

( Tow truck towing )

I just thought of

a few other things

you can drive

without a license.

Golf cart.

Jet ski.

Maybe like a big drill.

That might be

a special class of license.

Thanks, buddy, but...

I really don't have it

in me to be cheered up.

Most important thing

to do now...

is to just make sure

that I'm not grounded

for the rest of my life.

On a scale of one to ten,

how important's that to you?

( Mark gasps )

There you guys are.

We've been looking

for you everywhere.

RUSSELL:
Grounded for a month?

You must be hating life

pretty hard right now.

Ugh, it's not so bad.

I got my loyal buddy

right across the way.

It'll go by in a snap.

So, I guess back

to the bus on Monday.

And every day.

Not for long.

Heroes never say die.

Hey, in case

you didn't realize,

you didn't choke today.

Sure, you gagged a little.

RUSSELL:

But the luggage slalom,

the maniac squirrel,

your magnificent speech,

you passed your test.

Even if you didn't you know...

pass your test.

You should be proud

of regular Mark.

Thanks, buddy.

You meant both

of us before, right?

- We're both the heroes.

- Yes.

( laughter )

MAN:
Thank you.

WOMAN:

Oh, Glenn, you are a hoot!

Who might this stranger be?

And what has

this stranger told you?

I think somebody has

a little explaining to do.

How could you keep

this as a secret?

Ah, ah...

I'm sure he was just

trying to surprise you.

I mean, he-he got so excited,

he left before

I could even tell him.

Sometimes people

just get so caught up

in the moment they take off.

You know, I hear that's a thing.

But since your house is so close

to my favorite corn dog stand,

I'd figured

I'd drop it off myself.

Congratulations, you earned it!

Looks like the coolest cat

in this household

just got a little bit cooler.

By the way,

you wouldn't happen to have

a pair of boxer briefs

I could borrow, would you?

I'm on day two

of a bathing suit

and no clean laundry.

Hey, that was really nice

of your parents

to suspend your grounding

for the pool party.

Yeah, Yeah,

they're good like that.

Listen, I...

I wanna thank you

for what you did,

everything you went through.

You're a better man than I.

Glenn, could you say that

one more time for me, please?

You are a better man than I.

You have no idea

how good it feels,

to hear you say that to me.

I'm just glad I could help

you out with your dream.

I know you helped me with mine.

Oh!

Togo's my lab partner

in clown college.

Guy is a genius with seltzer.

( Honk honk )

Classic Togo.

I'm sorry if this is

a stupid question, but...

- Where's your wife?

- What's that now?

Karen?

The woman that we chased

halfway across the state.

Epic Adventures Karen?

Oh, yeah, it didn't work out.

GLENN:
She was right, no spark.

So, we parted ways.

But, our little quest

sure got my fire going.

I re-enrolled in North Dakota

Central State Clown College

last night.

You were so good

at your old job.

To be honest with you,

I was just coasting.

Would you believe

I passed over ninety-two

percent of my testees?

Ninety-two percent.

( Rap music playing )

You don't say.

Life is beautiful

So full of blessings

Each day is

a brand new lesson

Take a breathe

to ease your stressing

What you have

is so impressing

Coming together

people coalescing

If you don't know you

can stop your guessing

And we'll provide

with one suggestion

Then you'll find

there's no contesting

So, I vault over the wall,

mimic the wing span

of a common fruit bat,

and, much like said fruit bat,

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