McHale's Navy Page #4

You've torn up the roads.

You've ruined

the baseball field.

You've disrupted the lives of my people.

And your point is?

You have to take into

consideration the people--

my people-- as we move

forward in our relationship.

Consider them considered.

Governor, you have my word.

I knewl could talk to you, Major.

We're both reasonable men.

I am not a reasonable man.

All the more reason

then that, uh--

Tonight, at the fiesta I will

tell the people all is well.

All is well. All is well.

All is well. All is well.

Suddenly, I am in a party mood.

[ Sand Steel Drums Playing,

Fireworks Exploding ]

Jose, have you seen what they've

done to the baseball field?

What's going down, man? Look.

The governor says he's spoken to them,

and everything's going to be all right.

Where's McHale? Isn't he coming?

He'll be here.

Has he ever missed a fiesta?

[ Horn Honks ]

I hope we are not too late...

for happy hour!

Governor!

join the party.

Your governor tells me you are

unhappy with our presence here.

He tells me you have

been complaining...

because the base is

too near the village.

So, we have a solution.

We move the village.

Come on, guys. It's party time.

[ Soldiers Shouting ]

You traitor! How much did he

pay you to betray your people?

Major. Major, please help

me, or they will kill me!

Here. Take my hand.

Thank you! Psych!

Major! Ma--

I don't care what anybody says.

That's funny.

Admiral, sir. Yes, what is it?

Photos from the satellite

look bad.

There are supply ships,

transports.

We also have reports of fires on the island.

We think this man is running the operation.

Vladakov.

All right. who's the commanding

officer we got down there right now?

- Uh, Captain Binghampton, sir.

- Binghampton. Binghampton!

Isn't that the guy

that sank the Love Boat?

[ Chuckles ] Well, it-- it wasn't

the real Love Boat, sir.

Oh. Well, let's get him

on the vid-link.

Yes, sir.

Vladakov.

Carpenter! What do you think?

Hat on. Hat off.

No, no. Hat on. Makes me look intelligent.

[ Radio Beeping, Humming ]

Captain, this is Cobra.

Yes, Cobra! This is

Captain Wallace B.--

Let me get right down to it.

We have reason to believe

there is a terrorist cell...

forming on an island

adjacent to your base.

What? Terrorists, here?

I'll find them for you, sir.

Don't you worry about that.

I'll hunt them down like--

Binghampton you are

to do nothing.

The last thing the President

wants is more gunboat diplomacy.

The President?

How would you like us

to proceed, sir?

There is one person down there...

who can handle

an up-close inspection.

He was one of the top covert

operatives in the Navy.

His name is Quinton McHale.

He should be somewhere

near your area.

I'll try to locate him

for you, sir.

Good. Cobra out.

No. What do you mean, no?

- No!

- The Navy needs you, McHale.

-Give me a break.

-Doesn't that mean anything to you?

You're just gonna

turn your back?

I know all about the Navy, and

about backs getting turned.

I could have told Washington

this is the way you would react.

I'm gonna do you

a favor, McHale.

I'm gonna say that I couldn't find you.

I'm gonna say

that you'd left the area.

And you know what

you're going to do?

You're going to leave the area!

Now, get out!

You know, you're annoying.

No wonder she dumped you.

-McHale, wait!

-Carpenter, don't waste your breath.

-This is an operation I'm well equipped to handle.

-But, sir

I've been waiting for this

my entire life,

and believe me, I could do

this with my eyes sewn shut,

and both hands tied

behind my back--

McHale!

[ Bleating ] You guys Okay?

Looks like you had

a heck of a party here.

Things are lookin' up.

[ Rustling ]

McHale

-Hey, Roberto.

-Where you been?

[ Sighs ] Long story.

-Something terrible has happened.

-You noticed, huh?

No, worse. The village and the

baseball field are all gone.

-What are you talking about?

-That weird dude I took pictures of,

he destroyed everything.

Here's the deal. I'll do it,

but I'm gonna do it my way.

Ha! Oh, no, you're not.

Let's call Cobra

and see what he thinks.

Oh, but, uh-- [ Chuckles ]

All right, McHale. Now what

do you mean by your way?

I want my boat back, and

I want my old crew back.

I want the barracks on the

far side of the island.

I want tents and

supplies for 200 people,

and, uh, also

six dozen freezers.

Are you out of your mind?

D-- You stop doing that!

I want to be left alone.

I'll only answer to Cobra.

- Do we have an understanding?

- Yes.

I-I-If it's all right with the Captain.

No, it's not all right with me.

All right, McHale.

I'm gonna give you just enough

rope to hang yourself with,

and if you screw up-- or I

should say when you screw up--

it's your butt, mister.

Welcome back, McHale.

That's Lieutenant Commander

McHale to you, Carpenter.

I know. It's weird.

[ Laughs ]

Man, this thing shrank.

-Hey, buddy.

-Hey, hey. Hey, buddy.

Boys, I give you your new home.

Well, we throw on some paint, put up

some curtains, plant a shrub or two--

And it'll still suck.

I knew you guys would need cheerin' up,

so I've arranged for a reunion. Come on.

[ Men Grumbling ]

Hey, cool! All right!

Yes! Thanks, Skip.

Well, hey, Skip.

I don't see any of my stuff.

Oh, yeah? Come here.

Christy, think fast.

Thanks, Virgil.

Hmm! Oh, yeah.

Oh... you know, there's a

sensitive side to you, Skipper.

Thanks, little buddy.

Hey, Skip.

thanks for the stuff.

It's great to be back

together again, man.

So, Skip, what kind

of mission are we on?

Hey, Skip!

Looks like we've got

some company.

[ People Shouting ]

All right, guys, help 'em out.

Hey, Roberto, how ya doin'?

Come on, kids. How ya doin'?

Come on over.

-Come on. How are ya?

-I've got some great news.

I've got a hundred tents set up for you guys.

just one catch.

What's that? I was lying

about them being set up.

I'll make you a deal. We'll

take care of the tents.

You just get our island back.

I'll make you that deal if you

do something about my boat.

Have you been fiddling with it again?

Hey, if I was fiddling with it, you

wouldn't have to fix it. Come on.

Come in.

Ensign Parker here, sir.

You wanted to see me?

Uh, yes, Parker.

I don't think

that I've shown you...

the respect that you deserve.

Have you been getting the fruit

baskets I've been sending you, sir?

Yes.

Yes.

You know, Ensign,

I think it's possible...

that you're

lieutenant material,

and I have an assignment for you

that just might prove that.

Sir, I am ready for anything

Good. I want you to go to McHale's

base, find out what's going on,

get every drop of information,

and report back to me.

-Understood?

-Thank you, sir.

-Well, hop to it!

-Oh, y-yes, sir.

[ Air Wheezing ]

The best I can figure, this

building here is a command center.

The rest looks like standard stuff, if

you're building a gigantic missile silo.

But it's so out in the open.

Vladakov's an underground terrorist.

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