Memoirs of an Invisible Man

Okay, here goes.

Okay, we're on.

You're looking at a chair

because I'm sitting in it.

My name is Nick Halloway.

I'm not sick, and I'm not crazy.

But I am invisible.

How can I make you believe this?

Okay, try this.

See? No strings.

Wait a minute.

This ought to do it for you.

I'm making this tape because in hours,

I could be dead. This is my last chance.

I've got a hell of a story to tell.

Let's get right to it.

It all started on a Tuesday in March.

Thirty-six inches packed powder?

Can you get me in the Aspen Lodge

through Sunday?

Just a single with a king-size bed.

You never know.

Great. Thanks, Cheryl.

I'll get back to you.

Boykin asked if you saw the announcement

of the proposed Allied-Security oil merger.

Kaplan called about Magnascopics.

You've got the OPEC thing.

Staff meeting's Thursday. You haven't

begun that oil-shale analysis for Roger.

- Shall I continue?

- What oil-shale analysis?

- You are here.

- Roger. Come on in.

I've been trying to get you all afternoon.

I've spent the day on this.

I strongly recommend the company

examine oil-shale positions.

Great. Well, everything else okay, huh?

Still going out with Denise Lee?

Went out with her once.

Where you been, Rog?

You are the biggest bullshit artist

I've ever worked for.

Thank you, Cathy.

In fact, take the rest of the day off.

- I'm going to my club.

- What?

Magnascopics tomorrow.

A car will be at your apartment at 7:30.

- You promised Kaplan you'd cover for him.

- How am I gonna get through this? You go.

- You gave him your word.

- I was drunk.

- Get Moynihan to cover.

- You're committed.

What about my commitments?

My family, my relatives?

You don't have any.

The day was panning out

like any other day in my life.

But what was about to happen

was gonna change it forever.

The Academy Club is one of the last

private men's clubs in San Francisco.

The place railroad tycoons

and robber barons would hang out...

... eat roast beef, hire the occasional whore

and discuss how much they stole that day.

I use the tennis courts.

I like the bar.

No. Bad shoulder.

No depth.

Put me down for a dime

on St. John's/Villanova.

I want the over on Duke/Carolina.

All right. Thanks, Buzz.

Somebody's trying to get your attention.

It's Mr. Talbot.

Don't look, Patrick.

Just pretend you don't see.

- Thanks, Patrick.

- Hi, Nick.

Hi, George.

How's the spastic colon?

- What you doing?

- Oh, writing my resignation.

I'm gonna start a foster home

for poor kids.

Girls, mostly. Late teens, early 30s.

I need a family.

Yeah. Come join us.

I'm here with some of the gang.

- No, I can't tonight.

- Come on. Come on, one drink, all right?

It's just Ellen and some pals of hers.

Alice Monroe, my sister Amy's friend

from Cornell, back from Brazil.

- I've got an early morning. I can't...

- Before you bail, just have a look.

Well, maybe for a minute.

- You know everybody, don't you?

- Hi, Ellen.

- Hi, Nick.

- Oh, Alice Monroe.

I'd like you to meet Nick Halloway.

This is Alice.

- Hi, Nick.

- Nice to meet you.

- Where have you been hiding?

- Where have you been?

- You got a haircut. Looks good.

- Like this?

- Alice produces Smithsonian documentaries.

- Oh, really? I love the Smithsonian.

It's one of my favorite institutions.

So, what kind of documentaries

do you produce?

Anthropological stuff, traditional cultures,

cosmologies.

Cosmologies, love them.

It's one of my favorite ologies.

Patrick.

You went to law school, and you were

practicing in Boston. What happened?

My parents wanted me to be a lawyer.

It just wasn't for me.

- It'll be Indiana/UNLV. Maybe Arkansas.

- Carolina.

The leap into film, what did you do?

Raise money?

- Your firm represented someone?

- No, I quit.

I got a job as a production assistant

for a public television station.

- Next thing you know, I'm in the jungle.

- I think it's gonna be UNLV.

Primitive, huh?

There's only a few places in the Amazon

that could still be considered virgin.

So, what did you miss most

when you were down there?

Hot showers, cheeseburgers.

I think Seton Hall will go all the way.

- I hate TV.

- Me too.

- I like music.

- I love jazz.

- I hate weight lifters.

- Narcissists.

- Love skiing.

- Love the ocean and the woods.

I love blond hair.

I love garlic.

Nick.

- What are we doing?

- I hope it's foreplay.

- We should get back.

- Yeah. Yeah. We should get back.

Let's not do anything

cheap and meaningless.

Okay. What do I owe you?

You couldn't afford it.

- Ciao.

- Nice to have you back.

- Thanks, George.

- See you soon.

- Making an early night, Nick?

- I thought we were having dinner.

- I promised I'd meet somebody.

- Really? Maybe I'd better drop you.

Actually, dinner's not such a great idea

with all this work I gotta do.

You like Italian? We could go to Fiorello's.

It's dark. It's quiet.

- I'd love to, but I do have to meet somebody.

- You're kidding.

- I thought you were putting them on.

- No.

Want to meet for lunch Friday

at the Brasserie?

Lunch? Let's go to Maui.

Nick, we have plenty of time.

You're right.

- Am I gonna regret meeting you?

- You already do.

In a way, it was all Alice's fault.

Maybe if I hadn't met her that night,

and she hadn't been so beautiful...

... I wouldn't have gone back to the bar

and drunk myself silly.

The next morning, I was never

so hung- over in all my life.

It is my pleasure to present the chairman

of our scientific advisory board...

... and the Sidney Leavitt professor

of theoretical physics at Berkeley...

... Dr. Bernard Wachs.

Welcome.

Accustomed as we are today...

...to think of magnetism as the vector

of spins and orbits of subatomic particles...

...it is often with astonishment

that we discover how different men...

...viewed the set of phenomena that we

group together under the term "magnetism."

The Greek philosopher Thales,

as early as the sixth century B. C...

...observed the extraordinary ability

of lodestones to attract other pieces...

- returned to its original value.

A vector quantity that specifies...

...direction and magnitude

of the force in our magnetic field...

...may temporarily convert the...

- Fifteen minutes in...

...and we're not up to the birth of Christ?

Call me when he gets to the Inquisition.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Is there a men's room around here?

Yes. Just down the hall there.

- Oh, shoot!

- Thank you.

Hello?

Stay back.

Ten minutes. Ten minutes.

I'll be as good as new.

Von Erxlebren's design breakthrough

allowed an enhanced...

What?

Get out! Get out!

Run for it!

Is it not true, Mr. Jenkins,

that you were in Honduras...

...the same day Dr. Mendoza fell to his death

from the 21 st floor of the Hotel Presidente?

Mr. Chairman, I was in Honduras

as a consultant...

...to the Pan-American

Democratic Relief Organization.

You're not paid by the CIA?

You were never a station chief

code-named Scorpion?

You weren't in Germany

two years ago...

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