Mini's First Time Page #4

''How did she look?''

Do you think anyone would think twice if

the answer's ''Fabulous''?

Well, if you have

any last thoughts,

l think that now would probably be

the appropriate time.

You could pretend

to have a little remorse.

No no no! Wait wait wait!

She's gonna be fine!

Just tell me that

she's gonna be okay!

Mr. Tannen, l think you should take

your daughter into the house.

l don't wanna go

in the house right now!

She's gonna

be fine, right?

Just say that

she's gonna be fine first

and then l'll go

in the house!

lt's gonna be okay.

Come on, go inside.

All right, we're almost

wrapped up in here.

l'll see you tomorrow.

- Mr. Tannen.

- Oh.

- Yes.

- Hi.

Detective

Dwight Garson, L.A.P.D.

l'm very sorry

to be here right now,

but, you know, whenever there's

an apparent suicide,

we're required to do

an investigation

just to rule out

homicide.

- Right.

- lt's really just a formality.

Formality?

My mother just

killed herself.

They haven't even taken her away yet.

What's wrong with you?

Mini, honey, the man

is just doing his job.

l don't care.

Tell him to leave. This is outrageous.

- Could we do this some other time?

- Of course, Mr. Tannen.

l appreciate that.

Thank you.

But l will need to ask you

just a few simple questions

before l leave, if that's okay.

- Okay.

- l'm sorry, but did you hear him?

l believe he said

you need to leave.

Mini, let's go

to your room,

and you lie down for a little while,

please. Come on.

So after dinner

and the movie,

we came home at 11 :30

and found her in the garage,

and l... turned off

the car,

and l opened

the garage door

to let the fumes out.

So... your wife

would have done this

sometime between

8:
00 and 11 :33

when you made

the 911 call?

- Yes.

- So this was your wife's car?

Yes.

And...

was it in the garage

when you went to dinner

or did she drive it in?

- ls that important?

- Oh well, you know,

l'm just kind of trying

to reconstruct what happened.

Well, when my wife

came home from the mall,

we had the car towed here

and we put it in the garage.

Well, if it's okay,

l'm gonna have them

impound it,

and we'll take it

down to the crime lab.

Take it down

to the crime lab?

Yeah, again, you know,

it's just purely routine.

Right.

Yeah...

so, uh...

have you... have you

found a note yet?

You mean

a suicide note?

Yeah, usually the deceased

tend to leave one.

Uh no no,

we haven't,

but we haven't been

looking for one either.

Right.

Right...

Well, do you mind

if l have a look around?

No no no.

Who cares if we

didn't leave a note?

- Just relax!

- He says--

So what? He'll do

his little dance,

and chalk it up

to another failed actress

who realized after 40

she might as well be dead.

Okay.

- Sh*t!

- What?

l forgot about the sweatsuits

and the goggles.

l already snuck out back

and threw them

in Mike Rudell's

garbage cans.

Good. Very good.

Just relax.

We did it.

We're free.

Before that, l was actually

working in catering,

but l discovered l had

this amazing talent

to read people's flower auras.

lf l may just...

Venus flytrap.

You scared me.

Just keep 'em coming.

lt's a tragic tragic loss.

- Thank you so much.

- ls this soy?

- You know, this could be tofurkey.

- Not for me.

ls this tofurkey?

lt could be okay.

- lt's good.

- You're so delighted by small things.

Mm. Does anybody know how--

how is Mini doing?

l hear she's

totally devastated.

- She's-- wh-- what?

- Just look at her.

Martin, l mean, think of him.

He's a single parent now.

He's going to need all the support

he can get from family and friends.

Oh, it takes a village.

The wake was a riot.

With Mom out of the way,

Martin suddenly became

prime target

number one.

Would you excuse me?

She wasn't even cold yet,

and already her friends

were realizing

whoever could dump

their hubbies the fastest

could actually marry someone

they'd want to sleep with.

- Martin?

- Hi.

How are you holding up?

Well, the nights

are the roughest.

l hope you know that despite our

little disagreement,

Diane was like

a sister to me.

l know.

And if you ever need

someone to talk to,

or even just a hug...

l can be over

in 10 minutes.

After the funeral,

l felt it would be a good idea if

we took a vacation,

and went someplace where we can act

like a real couple for the first time.

l could feel that Martin had let

that whole thing with the cops go.

lt had been two weeks

since Mom's death,

and already it felt like

it happened a year ago.

Martin? Mini?

Hi. l thought

that was you.

Mike, what are you

doing here?

Uh, last week

Mini mentioned

that you guys were gonna

come down here for a little R and R,

and l suddenly realized

that l hadn't taken a vacation

in God knows when.

Jennifer, this is Martin Tannen,

my next-door neighbor

and his daughter Mini.

And here's the kicker.

Jennifer works for

the same escort service that l did.

l'm sorry, Jennifer,

but have we met?

You look really familiar.

l don't think so.

No? Are you sure?

Have we worked together?

That's impossible, because l just moved

here from Canada--

the Yukon Territories.

l just wanted

you both to know

how sorry l am

for your loss.

Our loss?

He just lost six or seven freebies

a year from Mom.

Look at him.

He's a profile in courage.

lf there's anything

that l can do

for either of you,

don't hesitate to ask.

Remember, l'm just--

l'm right across the fence.

Thanks, Mike.

We appreciate that.

Breakfast tomorrow--

frittata.

l'm sending over

a frittata for you guys.

Don't be surprised.

Okay, bye-bye.

Why did you tell him?

l was just being

friendly, okay?

l didn't think

he'd actually come.

He knows.

He found the goggles and the clothes,

and he f***in' knows.

l doubt he even knows

where his trash cans are.

Relax, it was

just a coincidence.

Coincidence or not,

he saw us together.

Let's go,

let's get in the car.

- lt was dark--

- Let's go to the airport.

- lt was dark outside.

- No no no no no.

He was toying with us.

You didn't see that,

the way that he was

toying with us?

- No, l didn't.

- No?

No.

What is he

gonna do, huh?

Go home and tell everyone

we're a couple?

We'll just laugh it off

and say he vacations with hookers.

Okay, thank you.

Let's get in the car

and let's go to the airport now.

- Come on.

- Martin, come on.

Calm down, all right?

Nothing is going to happen.

Let's just go inside

and have another drink, okay?

- Aurelio?

- S, seorita?

Hi, we're actually

gonna stay,

so can you bring

these bags in for us?

But of course.

No thank you.

The next few days

were a real hoot.

Suddenly, Martin was acting like

he really was my father.

We returned home

and things didn't get much better.

What little sex

we were having was getting dull.

l tried spicing things up

with a little role-playing,

but l was becoming concerned

that in my world of firsts,

l'd achieved my greatest first

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