Mo' Money

---

A**hole! Son of a b*tch

is gonna kill somebody.

He's still alive.

Lloyd, will you get the tape?

Let's move it!

- How much further?

- Two more flights.

- You said up the street.

- It's right there, Grandma! God!

- Let's just forget about it!

- Come on!

- Take your hand off me!

- I'll go get the TV.

You think I'm gonna let you

walk away with my $300? No way.

Good idea. This guy might not

be totally legit.

- Who is it?

- It's me.

- Me who?

- Cornbread! Open up.

I want the you-know-what.

- You didn't use the code.

- The fat man walks slowly!

The fat man need to lose some weight!

Just open the f***ing door!

What's all this hostility about?

How you doing? Who's this?

- Who's with you?

- Frank.

Frank, how you doing?

That short for Frankfurter?

Don't stand out here like

a couple of roaches.

- Come on in, Frankfurter.

- Place smells like a pigsty!

I know. That's the dead guy next door.

He died on the toilet. They gotta

wipe his ass and take him away.

- You don't want no car phone?

- I said I wanted a TV!

You said this piece of sh*t

had color TVs!

Are you wasting my time?

You give me my money back.

Frankfurter! Frankfurter!

Don't get all hyper. Cornbread

telling you what else we got.

- The TV's in the other room.

- Get it, then!

- Go get it!

- Before I kick both your asses!

Yeah! Before he kick both our asses!

Damn!

All the crazy dudes in the world

to have working for you.

- Did you ever hear the one about...?

- Hey, what are you doing?

- It's dinnertime.

- Can't that sh*t wait?

- Not in front of me!

- You hungry? I got some chicken left.

Here you go. Here's some chicken.

Hey, man, I dug in a lot of

garbages for that!

Let me hold your belt.

I gotta get this vein up.

A vein just don't come every day,

you gotta get it...

Let me wear your belt!

All right! Hurry up, you piece

of trash! Hate you people!

I figured that out when you

walked in the room.

Oh, God!

- Oh, God.

- What's the matter?

- What's happening?

- That sh*t was no good!

What happened?

- He took some bad drugs.

- Sh*t! Take this and go!

Before the cops come! Run, fatso!

Come on, man.

Don't you die on me! Slim?

No! Go! He's dead.

You bastards!

Mo' money! Mo' money!

- Look at that!

- Here.

- Hey!

- What?

That was fun!

You seen the look on the guy's face?

You should've seen when I gave

him the chicken.

- What's the matter?

- Tooth hurts.

- Which one?

- Right here.

Get it fixed.

Hey, yo. Check it out.

- Oh, snap. Go get that.

- All right.

- Easy. Easy, baby.

- Good evening, officer.

- Keep moving, or I'll take you in!

- Johnny, that's really not funny.

- Nice night.

- Move it!

Here's some chicken.

Stop, you sons of b*tches!

- You chasing those guys?

- They robbed me.

Get away from me, f***ing bum!

- I'm a cop.

- Hey! Wait a minute!

- Stop! Police!

- Here comes fatso! Come on!

- Hold that for me!

- Look out! Coming through!

Come on!

Hold it!

You get them. I'm finished.

You're mine! Sh*t!

Get off my car!

Young man? Pay your fare.

Pay your fare! Pay your fare!

Pay your fare! Comb your hair!

- What do we got here, Mills?

- Ted Forrest, age 47.

Died at 1:
13. Messenger for

the Dynasty Corporation.

- It appears to be another hit-and-run.

- I just don't understand it.

Yeah, it is pretty insane.

How do they get the jelly

into these things?

- Any of you touch this?

- I gave orders not to move anything.

Well, somebody did.

Wonder what that means?

- I don't know, sir.

- Me neither. Thank you. Hold that.

Oh, boy. Get me that case.

I'll deliver that myself.

You wrap everything else up.

- I got a few things I gotta do.

- Yes, sir.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Sure.

Hey! Anybody got some paper?

Sounds like you need the Sunday Times.

Like I said, I had that

little b*tch by the neck.

Started twisting till it snapped.

Almost killed that little ho!

Then my mom come running in saying,

"What you doing to your sister?"

She lucky, man!

They both lucky! You know? Pop!

Two for one! She my mom,

but she ain't breast-feeding me!

Now Mom talking about

pressing charges on me.

Man, I don't give a damn-blam-Sam.

I'm ready to jam!

I do time for breakfast!

"What you got for me today, judge?

Five years?

Yeah! Seven years, judge?

Give me life, judge.

I got an appetite. Big one!"

That's what I'm gonna tell the judge!

"Judge, kiss this ass!"

- That's right!

- Hey, my man! You using that hat?

- Hey, man! What's your problem?

- Give me a cigarette, boy.

- I don't smoke.

- I said give me a cigarette!

- Stewart! Visitor!

- I don't smoke.

Wrong answer.

You're supposed to say,

"I'll get you one."

- I'll get you one.

- Jonathan Stewart!

As soon as you find

your f***ing balls!

You're dead! You're dead!

- It's not funny.

- What's up with you? You getting old?

The stupid transit cop.

I thought Frankfurter got you!

If they find out about my probation,

I could go away.

Don't worry. I got you a lawyer.

- Is he good?

- What's my name?

- Is he?

- What's my name?

- Is he good?

- He's the best lawyer in town!

For the money.

Your Honor? Allow me to fumigate

my wisdom on the defendant.

Since he has been incarcerated in the

propaganda of the prison structure...

...on the issue of

the court thing. Yes!

And I must say here

that it has been a real...

...didactic experience for him,

as you can see.

Can I get a witness? Yes, Lord.

And I must say...

...that both physically

and geographically...

...if he be sent to the bowels

of the community, I said...

...if he be sent to the bowels...

...the manifestation will be much

too much for him to resign!

I rest my scrotum.

- Are you serious?

- Oh, yes, sir!

Oh, Mr. Stewart!

The last time I saw you was...

...only three months ago.

I said if you showed

your stupid face again...

...I would put you underneath

the jail, didn't I?

- Yes, Your Honor.

- Did you think I was playing?

No, Your Honor.

I'm considering postponing your case

for a few months...

...just to let you think about

how you're wasting my time!

Since you've been so ill-represented

by the "propaganda of the court"...

...I'll have a sympathetic

"decapany" on this case. Dismissed.

- Your Honor!

- Thank you.

And you get out of my court

before I send you away! Next case.

Roscoe Kent versus Elvira Kent.

That's right, judge!

Put him under the jail.

Could I get Reverend Pimp Daddy

to be my lawyer, please?

Reverend, my sister'll work it off

for you when she gets better.

- One day your ass is mine.

- Yeah, come on! Come on!

You were sweating in there.

You're not as tough as you think.

- Thanks for getting me out, Walsh.

- Me? Are you hungry?

- Nope.

- Well, I am.

I thought you were

supposed to be working.

I quit.

- I'm sorry?

- I said, I quit!

Oh, I see. You quit.

Maybe I should quit helping some punk

make something of his life.

What happened to Kluck-A-Bucks?

I was in a chicken costume, giving

out coupons. It didn't fit my image.

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes