Mo' Money Page #3

Synopsis: Trying to get his act together, a con artist gets a job in a credit card company. He falls in love with a fellow employee, he steals a couple of cards, everything is going great. But soon, the chief of security drags him into the big leagues of criminals...
Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Peter MacDonald
Production: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
  1 win.
 
IMDB:
5.4
Rotten Tomatoes:
13%
R
Year:
1992
89 min
1,348 Views


Get turkey. He needs lactate.

- Laxative?

- No, lactate.

Fix him a turkey sandwich.

Hurry, he's crazy.

Timmy, not the cans, no!

Not my cans. What are you doing?

Okay, I fix, I fix.

Here. Here.

Put more on, that's not enough

lactate. Timmy wants more lactate.

Don't touch those chips.

Don't touch the cakes.

Timmy, stop it.

Beep-beep-beep-beep.

- What's this "beep-beep"?

- Put some more turkey and mayo on.

A whole lot of mayo.

Thank you, mister.

Timmy, stop it.

Mayo. Here's more mayo. Mayo, here.

Thank you, thank you.

You're welcome. Now get him out.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

- Give him a kiss.

- Please go!

Get out of here. Get out, now.

- Get him out of my store.

- And be more happy.

How long does a coroner's report take?

We'll be dead when it comes.

I've tried...

Get over there, even if you have to

examine the damn body yourself. Go.

Remember the trouble you caused?

Get your hands off me, you

bald-headed, flatfoot f*ggot!

You were my best customer! Busting

me because I won't do you for free?

- Right, liar. Come on!

- Get that whore away from my door.

- You see what you started, Mary?

- What happened to us?

Lieutenant? I just got off

the phone with the lab.

Autopsy confirms Forrest's broken

neck wasn't from the accident.

- I said that.

- It happened...

After the fact. It's official.

So, anyway. Everybody's laughing

and having fun.

When all of a sudden,

Sandy jump up and run out!

Child! He done forgot his Depends!

Hey! Miss! Miss!

Could you hurry?

I'm waiting on a call.

I don't give a rat's ass!

I put 25 cents in here. When

it's used up, then I hang up!

We've waited two days

for the phone to ring!

That's because Moms Mabley

won't hang up!

He's gonna call. I got a feeling.

I got a feeling they hired somebody.

You just want to be around

that stupid girl!

You think they're gonna hire

a convicted criminal?

I ain't John Gotti!

You sure ain't.

John Gotti was getting paid!

- Now you can use the phone!

- Thanks. Hey, my man! It's broken.

Go shave that crust-ache off your lip.

See? It still ain't ringing.

Get away from my cab!

Get a job! Join a union!

Join a Boy's Club!

See that cab over there?

Maybe you can help me. I need to get

to 33rd Street and 3rd Avenue.

Let me guess,

not from around here?

- My bald head gave me away?

- I'll whiz you over there. $50.

- I won't even turn on the metre.

- I don't have money.

- You f***ing immigrant!

- But, wait. Excuse me!

Hello? Excuse me?

I got to go get the money.

What money?

I have $10,000 at

my grandmother's house.

My time is worth money.

$200, on spec.

$200!

$150, I give you $150...

I told you he'd call!

You son of a b*tch!

I'll rip your throat out!

Stewart residence.

Yes, this is him.

Yes, tomorrow will be fine.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Yes! I got the job!

- I got a job, man!

- Filthy!

You must be Jonathan Stewart.

I'm your supervisor, Chris Fields.

Everyone! I'd like to introduce you

to a new employee today.

His name is Jonathan Stewart!

Hi, Johnny baby!

By the way, that's Charlotte.

Come on. I'll introduce you

to your machine.

Keep going. You're doing good.

- You better get used to paper cuts.

- I'll get gloves or something.

What do I do with this?

That's a credit card that

Mr. Jeffrey wants cancelled.

Idiot didn't break it in half.

He's supposed to.

- Why is that?

- Our cards go out pre-approved.

They have to be processed before

they can be cancelled.

I see we got a new guy.

Johnny, this is Keith Heading.

He's head of security.

- Hi.

- Hi, Johnny.

Hear the one about the guy

who goes to a psychiatrist?

"I'm having weird dreams.

Last night I was a wigwam.

The night before I was a tepee."

Psychiatrist says, "You're two tents."

- Chris, you got a minute?

- Sure.

- Excuse us. Nice to meet you.

- Yeah.

Hey, Johnny baby!

What are you doing for lunch?

- Working.

- On who?

- You've got the most beautiful lips!

- Oh, really?

Chris, come here.

- How about the new guy?

- Johnny's great. He'll stick around.

I gotta poop.

What the f*** is going on?

- I got scared.

- Scared of what?

What are you scared of?

Have a nightmare?

- I don't have time for a scare.

- I didn't know people would be hurt or...

- Or what?

- Or dying.

Well, Mr. Butthole, you let him be

a lesson to you.

We got 26 days to make

30 million dollars.

People are waiting on product.

You know what I mean?

Nod if you understand.

Oh, you're red. You're getting blue.

I wonder how long it takes

to get white?

Christ! I gotta get

back to my office.

You get me those cards, okay?

Hey, don't forget!

You're my number one guy.

Terry! How are you?

- Yo, Chris? That you?

- Yeah.

Why you crying, man?

You constipated?

You should try rocking back and forth.

That's what I do.

You said it would take an hour.

It's been longer. That's unacceptable.

Allison, file this, please.

What happens if I push this button?

- How did you get in here?

- I work here.

- What can I do for you?

- It's my lunch break.

I'm looking for

someone nice to talk to.

Maybe show me around.

You wouldn't happen to know someone?

- Actually, yes. I do.

- Yeah?

Yeah. Charlotte.

Right. What do you do in

this department?

- Don't sit on my desk.

- Sorry.

I run this department.

Why don't you hook me up

so I can leave the mailroom?

Acquisitions is having babies

about the C-89 form. Finished?

- Yes.

- What's happening, bro?

- What are you?

- Jonathan Stewart, from Acquisitions.

Came to get the C-89 form.

I'll have this down to them.

- Did you put aside those disputes?

- Yes, I did.

- Hi, Johnny baby!

- What's up, Charlotte?

- How was your first day?

- I'm learning.

What you need is a better teacher.

I could probably get it. It's easy.

You need someone to show

you how to do it right.

Listen, I'm going to the bar right

down the street.

- You wanna come?

- No. I'm gonna pass. I'll pass.

Too bad.

- I think she likes you.

- I think I like you.

- Johnny! Johnny, right?

- What's up, Keith?

- How you doing?

- What's happening?

- Good night, Chris. See you later.

- Good night.

- He hasn't been feeling good.

- I know, he was constipated earlier.

Hello, my weakness. How you doing?

- I was waiting for you inside.

- Why?

I wanted to ask you to marry me.

Can I get down on one knee?

- My boyfriend wouldn't like that.

- Oh, you got a boyfriend and things!

All right. We'll let him

be the best man.

- I don't think so.

- No?

- I love your smile. It's beautiful.

- Thank you.

Amber! Amber, let's go!

- I have to go.

- That's your boss friend?

- Does he treat you like he should?

- Amber, let's go!

I didn't think so.

It's okay. He's temporary.

I got plans for you and me.

I gotta get my sh*t together.

- So, what were you two talking about?

- Nothing.

- It looked like more than nothing.

- He works in Acquisitions...

No, he doesn't. I checked.

Don't waste time with trash.

- What does that mean?

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes

Damon Wayans

Damon Kyle Wayans Sr. (; born September 4, 1960) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer, and member of the Wayans family of entertainers. Wayans performed as a comedian and actor throughout the 1980s, including a yearlong stint on the sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live. His true breakthrough, however, came as a co-creator and performer on his own sketch comedy show, In Living Color, from 1990 to 1992. Since then he has starred in a number of films and television shows, some of which he has co-produced or co-written, including The Last Boy Scout and Major Payne, and the sitcom My Wife and Kids. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Mo' Money" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/mo'_money_13902>.

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