Mo' Money Page #4

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- He's beneath you. Don't talk to him.

- What, are you jealous?

- That's absurd. Just don't talk to him.

I've got great news.

I've got tickets to the opera tonight.

- Amber, you don't seem pleased.

- When will we do something I want?

Things you wanna do have no culture.

Open your mind to more than rap music.

- Here is your other spoon.

- Thank you.

And could we have two more baskets

of raisin bread?

Thank you.

- Yo, that's her man?

- Yeah.

- Yo, he's filthy!

- I know. Watch this.

I've got a joke. Why did the black

man wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?

If he was gonna be impotent,

he wanted to look impotent.

Keith Heading told me that joke!

Amber, it's not that funny.

What are you laughing at?

Tom...

Time for fun with the mailboy.

What do you want, man?

Stop it! Stop it! Stop!

Tom, you're overreacting.

You're right. Why am I being insecure?

He can't afford you. Right, Amber?

Here. Why don't you get yourself

a decent meal, boy?

Thanks. Johnny!

- How was I supposed to react?

- Not by treating me like a whore!

- You're being irrational.

- I want out of this relationship!

Fine. Just collect your things

and go back to the projects.

- I should've broke his back!

- You're tough.

Should've punched him right

in his face!

You should've, but didn't.

- What?

- Nothing!

- Say it!

- Nothing.

- Say it!

- You played yourself!

He's a top-level executive.

I'd have lost my job!

But you would've still had your face!

Shut up, Doodle-tooth.

You're no help.

Look at your three-dollar jeans,

two-dollar shirt and tie!

What's that, a 12-dollar outfit?

And a bottlecap for a hat!

That sh*t look like a yarmulke

with a brim!

Changing your image with a job

ain't gonna get you no girl!

A job ain't nothing but work!

Besides, she's a money-hungry ho!

Why do you think her eyes are green?

No, she's not.

Shut up.

Doodle-tooth. Call me... My breath...

- That's kind of funny. You bottle...

- I said, shut up!

Thank you very much for helping me

with the investigation.

Tell me if I can be

of any more help.

Actually, there is one thing

that you can do for me.

Grocery list.

I'm looking for Chris Fields?

You know him?

He's a good worker.

A real asset to the company.

- Don't know what we'd do without him.

- Do you know where he is?

Chris?

- Would you mind if l...?

- Wanna use my office?

- Would you?

- Go ahead.

- Lieutenant Walsh.

- Nice to meet you.

- He wants to talk to you.

- A few questions.

About what?

- Don't worry.

- Life.

- How you doing, Chris?

- Not bad.

- How do you like this office?

- It's great.

Nothing. He just asked me a bunch

of questions about the mailroom.

- Did he ask anything about me?

- A couple of things.

- What did he ask?

- Just who you were.

- What did you say?

- Nothing! I played dumb.

I knew the cops would find out.

This is getting way out of hand...

Listen, listen. You did real good.

Don't worry.

Just go home and I'll take care

of it, okay?

All right.

Sasha! The things we did aren't even

in books! She had a set of headlights...

You've got to be careful of who

you take to bed! There are diseases!

Only the guys who aren't getting laid

are thinking about what they can get.

- Right, fellas?

- Oh, you absolutely right, Mr. Man.

Hi! We'd like to see

your jewels, please.

What jewel is it

that you'd like to see?

- That one.

- This one?

- No, the big one. I likes them big.

- I see.

All right.

- Look at this! It's the cutest thing.

- Let me see it!

- Stop, you act like a little mosquito.

- You didn't say that last night.

Little Miss Thing, you were

a mosquito somewhere else.

Anyways, how much

is something like this?

Well, that ring, sir, is $3000.

Do you like it?

Like it? I loves it!

- Excuse me.

- Sure.

- I gotta talk to my husband first.

- Get a haircut.

Excuse me, husband!

Sometimes I feel like a nut,

sometimes I don't!

Sometimes I feel like slapping you!

Husband said I could put it

on my Dynasty Club Card.

- Great.

- He's so good to me.

- Now, what you whining about?

- You hit me!

There you are. Oh, of course,

I will need to see a driver's license.

Look, you gave me your cold!

What should I do? Run out the

store every time I open my mouth?

- Here you go. Pardon me!

- Why don't you just read it to me?

Certainly. Zero, six,

nine, one, three...

...D- l-C-K. Expires whenever.

There you are, gentlemen.

Enjoy your ring.

Ain't he so sweet?

- I'm sorry. Did we get you?

- No, no.

Bye, doughboy.

- We got stuck!

- Bye-bye!

Bye! Hope you wash your face!

Now that sh*t was sweet!

We could sell that and get $100.

$100? That's crackhead prices!

I'm keeping it.

- For her?

- Yeah.

You better get that girl a mood ring.

Then get me a leather jacket.

- Just a jacket.

- And a hat.

- And a hat.

- No. And a shirt!

And a tigerskin blanket.

And some snakeskin drawers.

Take a look at that.

Mo' Money! Mo' Money! Mo' Money!

- Amber-Poo? Open the door. It's Tom.

- Go away!

Amber, open the door!

I just wanna talk to you!

- Amber?

- I have nothing to say. It's over!

You're being irrational! If I was the

mailboy, you'd open the door!

Yes, I would! He's nice to me. He

doesn't treat me like a piece of sh*t!

I've got a joke for you.

What does a man with a one-inch penis

have for breakfast?

You give up? This morning I had

baby food and therapy. Lots of it.

Keith Heading told me that joke!

- How'd you know where I live?

- I followed you.

- You followed me?

- My dreams need detail.

- So, what do you want?

- I brought you something.

Where is it?

Go ahead, man.

- Hey, fatso!

- You're gonna have a heart attack!

Give me your wallet! Now!

Here!

Here today, gone tomorrow.

- I found this. His name was...

- Chris Fields.

- Darren Clinton, Lloyd Bradley...

- Here, let me see that.

Boy, this kid had credit.

Stealing? Man, that's ridiculous.

- Don't know what you're talking about.

- Oh, no.

No, no. Not one, not two,

but three Cartier watches.

Five Italian suits from Elite Wear.

Flight Limousine Service.

Let's see. Dinner at Lu Chow's.

Yum yum, dim sum.

Oh, the list goes on and on.

You got good taste.

- I don't know whose list that is, but...

- I love this part.

Hey! That looks just like you!

Wait a minute. That is you!

You know that's a federal offense?

See, I had you checked out,

Johnny Boy.

You're on probation, right? Right?

I put the cards there.

It was just a matter of time.

I'm a good judge of character.

What are you gonna do?

Are you calling the cops?

No, I hired you!

I do my affirmative action bit.

Besides, it wouldn't benefit

either one of us.

I got something much better in mind.

Look through returned credit cards

and bring me these names.

What if I don't?

You go to jail for a long time.

Now, get out of my face.

I hate thieves.

What you all standing around for?

It looks like somebody died.

It's Chris. He got stabbed

to death last night.

Damn! I'm sorry to hear that.

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