Moms' Night Out Page #5

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That kind of... That

threw me a little bit.

Well, this was a good idea, Ally.

We're having fun after all.

Hey, um, so I am really sorry about

that horrifying display back there.

I actually think I might be

going a little bit crazy.

No, you were just having

a moment. That's all.

It was, like, my fifth

one this week. So...

It happens to everyone.

- Really?

- Mmm-hmm.

Yet somehow I can't quite picture

you having a moment like that.

So, how is the blog going?

Oh, the blog.

It's... It's

not coming really at all.

I can't...

I can't really find

anything worth saying.

And then when I sit down to try,

I just wind up staring

at that eagle's nest.

You have completely ruined me.

And Ray thinks it's crazy.

No, seriously,

I cannot stop watching it.

Like, it is a problem.

I don't know, Sondra.

I just feel like

she's so there.

You know, like, she's peaceful.

And she's happy.

Are you happy?

Look, Ally.

Life is not about a parking space.

It's not about God taking

away all our problems

and making everything perfect.

It's about finding the meaning and

the joy and the purpose in this,

in all the chaos and the crazy.

And it's knowing...

It's knowing that God is with you

on the good days and the bad days.

You know, does my

faith give me that?

Yes, it does.

Am I always happy?

No, that's a fantasy.

- Think I'm...

- Hmm.

- Hey, Ally.

- Yeah.

Thank you for inviting me tonight.

You know, it's the first time anyone

from the church has invited me

to something like this for...

First time in five years.

Of course.

Yeah.

- Hey, yeah. Yes, going.

- Ooh.

Hey, can I ask you something?

Little free advice.

Sure.

Hey, Ally. It's me.

Uh, just wanted

to let you know that

everything is going great here.

Uh, we're all good.

Um, we're gonna take a

little trip to the hospital.

Are you kidding me? You

want 50 tickets for this?

That's extortion.

Beck got himself caught in

the Rocket to Mars game.

They didn't have to use the jaws

of life to get him out this time,

thank goodness.

Uh, he's free now

and he's looking good,

his vitals are good.

He's stable.

They say we gotta take him down

to have him looked at, anyway.

Uh, a matter of policy, which is

fine, because I sort of, um...

I dislocated my shoulder trying

to get him out of there.

Funny thing.

We spent 50 bucks and

got 200 tickets,

so I expect something

of equal or greater value.

- Like a, like a, like a...

- Puppy!

Yes! A live animal.

I want something

like a live animal.

Like a turtle or

one of those pet pigs.

I'd like a pet pig.

Me and the Beckster are kind

of cruising on our own.

They need the minivan to

move the kids around.

We know where you are, so we're just

gonna slip into the parking lot

and switch the keys out

for the minivan.

And, uh, Marco told, uh... Texted

Izzy that, so she should...

She should know that.

Uh, I'm pretty sure

she got most of that.

What about the bouncy balls, right?

I mean, kids like the bouncy balls.

Marco, that's a choking hazard.

Why am I the only one

that knows this stuff?

Watch out, ladies and gentlemen.

It's time for the Dance Cam!

Who's it gonna be?

Who's it gonna be?

Oh, that is loud.

That's very loud.

The winner of tonight's

Dance Cam...

Oh, my.

...gets a free month of bowling!

Yeah, let me hear you! Uh-huh!

All right!

Michelle! Nice moves.

It's not Michelle.

All right, it's Ashley.

Everyone, give it up for Ashley.

Back to the music.

Okay, so, how far along are you?

- What?

- Well, you're...

No, because if I was,

I would be freaking out

that my husband

would go whimpering into

a fetal position

like he did last time.

I gotta be honest with you,

I didn't get any of that.

Six pins down, ladies!

Beat that, Sondra.

That's more than six.

Oh!

Moral dilemma.

Ally?

Hey, what are you guys doing here?

Hey, Bridge.

Yeah, we're, uh, you know,

glow-in-the-dark bowling.

Which is so fun!

It is, really. But it's

actually not that fun.

Okay, anyone else who wants

to be on the Dance Cam?

Did you see that?

Oh, no, no, no. We can't have

any of this at our table.

No, this does not look good.

That does not look good.

Dance!

Wiggle. Do anything.

These aren't mine. I don't drink.

No, these are not mine.

I can't. No, I don't dance.

No, I got to get over and...

Boo!

You, ma'am, are an embarrassment.

That's a Dance Fail.

- It's right there.

- Yeah, she tried. She tried, though.

- She tried hard.

- She tried.

Oh, hey, um...

Actually, I was just wondering,

who'd you wind up

getting to babysit Phoenix?

Oh, I just asked Joey to do it.

I think you were right. He

owed Phoenix some Daddy time.

Joey?

Joey, as in your ex-boyfriend

Joey? That Joey?

Yes, yes. That Joey, why?

Know what? Um, no.

Why?

What's going on?

Hey.

Hi, welcome to Chez Magique.

Your journey awaits you.

Great, thanks.

Oh, uh, no! You need to wait here.

Are you kidding me? Move.

- Um, I will not move.

- Um, yes, you will,

or so help me,

I will take this aura in

here and I will murder it!

You're kidding me.

No.

Whatever.

Namaste.

- Here, take the bird.

- I don't want the bird.

Oh, no, you gotta take the bird.

There's no way the boys are gonna

get in the car without the bird.

- I don't want the bird.

- Take the bird!

Hey, where's the car seat?

Yeah, dude. Everybody knows

you need a car seat.

You gotta get the car seat.

That's the whole point.

What am I gonna do with a bird?

Don't talk to me.

Joey!

Seriously?

I leave Phoenix with

you for one night!

He's fine. Somebody's watching him.

So that you can take your

tramp out for chocolate cake?

Oh, that's great.

Hi, I'm Bridget. Nice to meet you.

This is totally not

what it looks like.

Where is he?

Do it again!

A, B, C, D, E, F, G

H, I, J, K, L, M, N...

Man.

No!

No, no, no, no, no. Sean,

tell me that was not my bird.

Tell me that was not my

bird that just flew away.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey, that's our parking spot!

Who has him?

Bones.

Bones.

Bones from the tattoo

parlor, Bones?

Yeah, yeah. He said he could

hang there until I pick him up.

He's at the tattoo parlor?

He's not getting a tattoo!

I am not going in there!

- You gotta go in there.

- I don't wanna go in there.

Because this night will never end!

That's why you gotta go in.

I said, I promised, I vowed. I said, you

know, everything, and then I walk in?

Please. I'm just

not going in there.

It's a matter of principle. Okay?

Marco, give me your keys.

We'll leave my car in this

general area for the girls.

You guys take the van and the kids

to my house. Geez, this is confusing.

I gotta get Beck to the hospital.

Beck's fine.

Did you hear the

fire guy? It's policy!

Now, make the transition.

But what about my bird?

I got an idea. I got an idea.

I saw this on Animal Planet once.

- They come back.

- What, like this?

- Yeah.

- Mama!

It's not a falcon.

I am not overreacting!

I'm calling from Chez Magique.

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