Moms' Night Out Page #7

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You leech on society.

You, that represent everything that's

wrong with the American economy.

Here's what we're gonna do.

Listen very closely.

In three...

Oi!

Open the door!

I do not like that!

Would you please...

Yes. As I was...

Ow! Would you please stop?

- Why are you being a baby?

- I'm not.

Bones, help!

Bones!

I thought I told y'all

to stay out of the alley.

What's wrong, darling?

Caprice was not there.

There's some guy named Hank

and he said she took Phoenix,

but he wouldn't tell us where.

- And then he assaulted our cab driver.

- Right in the nose.

Blood everywhere.

Lollapalooza?

No.

- Ozzfest?

- Never.

- Live Aid?

- Please stop.

Can we please pull the conversation

back to my missing child?

I have no idea where

he is and I'm just...

I'm just worried sick about him

and I didn't know where

else to turn, so...

Why did you leave him?

All right, fine!

I'm coming.

Why you gotta be so loud?

Hello, Hank.

Hank, where's the baby?

Bones, I don't know.

Don't lie to me.

- I'm not lying!

- You know what's gonna happen to you?

- Where'd she say she was going?

- Um...

I believe her exact words were,

"I need a drink"?

You let Caprice, six months sober,

go out drinking with a baby?

Yes.

Hank, you deserve this.

That's what I would have done.

I hate to be the one

to tell you this.

Seems as if your baby is the drinking

buddy of a relapsing alcoholic.

Oh.

- Breathe.

- We don't have

much time. We should go.

- Let's go.

- Let's go! Come on!

What's all that ruckus over there?

Honey, you know

it ain't no telling.

Lord have mercy. Those

people across the street.

Your momma be here in a

little bit, baby, I'm sure.

Aw.

Here we go.

Okay.

Hey, Sean. What's going on?

Hey, Ray. What are you doing here?

I'm seeing a church member.

Have you heard from the girls?

I can't get a hold of Sondra.

This phone is almost dead. Okay,

okay, where are we going?

Hello, Bridget?

No, honey, it's Ally.

We are in deep, deep trouble.

Hon, I can't hear you,

you're breaking up.

- You said what?

- Fifth Avenue.

- Bones was there.

- I can't...

Hon, I can't hear you.

Slow down.

Cab driver is bleeding everywhere.

It's insane.

Who's bleeding?

Somebody's bleeding?

- Did you say bleeding?

- Whoa! Look out.

Hello?

- She's in trouble. We gotta go.

- Yeah.

What?

Searing pain! Searing pain.

You know, we're in a hospital.

Yeah, sorry, it's just my shoulder.

It's okay. I have a plan.

It's okay.

Oh!

- That can't be good.

- Okay, uh,

sir. Sir. Sir, I think you need

to see a doctor about that.

I know. I know, but my wife's

in trouble. It can wait. Hold on.

Third time's a charm. Third time.

It's gonna be fine.

- Aah!

- Oh!

- It worked!

- Seriously?

Yeah, it worked. It's good.

- You're good?

- Yup. It's good. It's good.

All right. That's great. Why don't

you let me drive, all right?

Come on. We're going for

a little ride, buddy.

She said something

about a tattoo parlor

on Fifth and a guy named Bones.

Okay. All right. So just try and

follow him. I'm sorry about this.

Not to worry, luv.

I'm a trained professional.

I learned this doing

a little stint in Germany.

The autobahn is no place

for the faint of heart.

Oh, I'm gonna throw up.

This is nothing.

Wait. Is that...

That's my van!

Sing with me! A, B, C, D...

I did it! I did it! I did it!

No more noise! No more music!

Put it back on.

- What?

- Put it back on right now!

- Where?

- Get the van! The van!

Get the van!

That's my van!

That's my stolen van!

Go get it! Get it!

What about my baby?

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

He's getting away!

What are you doing?

I'm being followed by

American Choppers back there.

Then go faster! Go faster!

No, no, no! No faster! No faster!

Now the cops are

following him, too!

Just get out of the way.

I've been trying to

get out of the way, okay?

- They keep following me. I'm trying!

- No, just get out of the way!

Light red. Light's red!

- Light's red!

- I see it! I see it!

Don't do it!

I have a sighting on that stolen

van. A gray Sienna with...

With, I don't know, stickers.

No, no, no. No, no!

You wanna mess with me?

You want a piece of this?

Say hello to my little

sippy cup, baby!

Hey!

Well, how'd you like that, huh?

Looks like...

I don't know. Sippy cups.

Hey! That's my van!

That's my stolen van!

Hey! Hey!

- What in...

- Get the van!

Ma'am, get back in the vehicle!

Van! Yes, get it!

Get us off this crazy train!

Everybody just hold on!

I don't wanna die!

Are you okay?

Is everybody okay?

Oh, that's gonna swell.

No, no. Why are you still following?

Why are you still following?

Why are you still following me?

Good evening, Officer.

Driver! Put your

hands out the window.

But...

Now, exit the vehicle slowly.

Uh...

Did you get that biker back there?

Stay where you are, sir.

Sir, stop where you are.

Now back up three paces.

Turn around, face the light.

No, the other light. Turn around!

Toward the light.

- The light. That light?

- That light. Yes.

Down on your knees, now!

Down on your knees!

- Sir?

- Hands behind your head.

Stay there.

- Sir, is this your vehicle?

- No, sir. It's...

- Stay right here!

- Okay!

- Have you been drinking?

- No, sir!

Is there someone

else in this vehicle?

Yes.

Stay where you are.

Uh-oh.

Hello!

What in the...

Sir, is this your vehicle?

- No!

- No, sir!

Thank you, my dear.

- Is this your daddy?

- No, sir.

Is that your daddy?

No, sir!

Who's your daddy?

He's in the hospital.

What's going on here?

He's taking us to his house,

but I don't want to go!

You don't want to go? That's very

bad. What else should I know?

He killed Mama.

He what?

Okay, no. I can explain. Mama's

the name of the parakeet...

Down on your knees now!

Down on your knees!

No, don't! Don't shoot, no!

Face down, face down! Right now.

No, no.

Dispatch, I need backup.

Send units now!

- I'm down! I'm down! I'm down!

- I need more units. Backup now.

Guess what, kids?

We're all going to jail.

We are going to jail!

Aw, man, I hate jail!

Izzy's gonna kill me!

Don't move! We got a felon!

Ow. Ow.

Okay. All right! I'm sorry.

What happened?

I'm sorry about the flight

mechanism, ladies.

I kinda lose it when

I see those flashing lights.

I have a checkered past.

Okay, what about my van?

Well, it's quite a mess up there.

I got as close as I could.

Um, they're hauling

the criminals off now.

Seems it was stolen by

a mentally unstable man

with some kids and a parakeet.

Marco?

What? Why does Marco have my van?

- Where are my kids?

- It's okay.

What if they're in jail?

I don't think they can book a baby.

I may be wrong,

but I don't think they can.

Go, go, go, go, go!

I knew it!

She took her daddy's car.

I told Zoe that if

she went to that rave,

she was gonna learn the hard way.

Oh, her daddy is

gonna kill her when

he finds out she's in the clink.

"Clink"? Really?

Can you please move?

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