Moms' Night Out Page #9

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giving your kiddos the mama He did.

So you just be you.

He'll take care of the rest.

That was really profound, Bones.

What?

What'd I say? Something good?

Pinterest, really?

Yeah, I don't go

on it much anymore.

Everybody's tats are

better than mine.

Another visitor.

- Ally, get me outta here.

- Yes.

I just cleared up the

misunderstanding with the van.

Just saw Marco and all the kids.

- Your kids, too?

- Yes. Everybody's fine. Don't ask.

Here's your stuff. They're all

in the interrogation room.

Only because the kids wouldn't stop

playing with

the fingerprint equipment.

So, um, can you take my van and

watch my kids for a few hours?

Sure. Why?

Yeah. Okay.

Follow me.

Hey, Bridge.

I bet you think I'm an awful

person, right? Worst mother ever.

Yeah, I know how that feels.

Yeah, but you have it

all figured out, right?

Not even a little bit.

I'm really sorry that I dragged

you into all this, and I'm...

I'm sorry that I ruined your night.

Okay, first of all,

you did not ruin anything.

And secondly, Bridge,

this mom thing is crazy hard.

And you're doing an amazing job.

Really?

Yes.

Yes, so come on! We got a baby

to find. Let's go, girl! Come on!

Sondra! Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. Now

where are we going?

Well, we're going

back to Caprice's,

but don't worry, I got this.

No, I'm gonna come. I'm just

a little stress-paralyzed.

- I knew that was a thing.

- Yeah.

I'll be right behind you,

just give me a minute.

Oh, good. He's still here. Come on.

Hey!

Aah! I'm sorry, referee! Whew!

- Yeah. You okay?

- Yeah.

Okay. Yeah.

Back to Caprice's, yeah?

I know that you're in there!

Is Phoenix with you?

Is that a wrestling show?

All I hear is anger

and rage. I don't know.

Do you have any other ideas?

Nope.

Hey, thanks for the ride.

Wait! There's the deadbeat!

Hank!

Lady, I don't know!

I told you, I don't know!

I haven't seen her!

I haven't seen her!

Get back here! Bridget, come on!

I have pepper spray and I

am not afraid to use it!

- Calm down!

- I'm sure your baby's fine!

- No, no! Bridget! Bridget!

- Calm down.

Wait, he's getting away!

Oh, no!

- Joey?

- It burns!

Joey, what are you doing here?

He's getting away!

You're crazy! You're crazy!

Let's have some!

Oh, that is gonna bring

tears to his eyes.

I'm trying to look for Phoenix!

Does he know where Phoenix is?

Uh, well,

he's not exactly conscious.

What?

If you know what I mean.

After your big date, you

decided to come and help me!

What? No!

After my interview!

I'm trying to get a job, man!

You're trying to... A job?

What is that?

- Sondra?

- Ally.

I told Ray everything that happened

and, well, he made some calls.

Hey, look. Don't freak out.

Half these guys are from

First Baptist Church.

The other half are from the,

uh, biker gang known as...

The Skulls.

The biker gang known as the Skulls.

But we're all here

for the same reason.

We love you, Bridget. We love

your family, we always have.

That's right.

Hey, hon.

Hi.

You okay?

We got a baby to find.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

First things first.

We need to establish

a 12-block perimeter.

- Y'all here are looking for a baby?

- Yes.

Yeah, my son. Ten months old?

- Dressed like Bono? What?

- What?

The name Caprice

mean anything to you?

Yes!

That's the person that was supposed

to be taking care of him. Why?

Y'all come with me.

Come on in.

Honey, look who I found.

You must be the mama. Oh.

He just woke up.

It's been a long time since I've

held a baby. Oh, so precious.

Oh, that's him. Oh, God. Oh.

You're not even from this country.

How would you know

how to get around this?

Well, there's no need to get

personal. I'm just trying to help.

I'm not getting personal.

I'm just...

You can't go that way.

- Yes! Yes!

- Yeah. Oh!

We found him!

Yeah!

Call off the chopper.

- What?

- Oh.

Guys! We just found a baby!

All right, wrap this puppy up.

Let's get out of here.

Wait, hang on. Where are my babies?

They're at your house with Kevin.

With Kevin?

This is me trying really hard

not to have a panic attack.

Kids, this is a knife.

Who wants to hold it?

Sean!

I don't know what the big deal is.

Because he's a man boy, Izzy! I...

Shh.

Allyson.

Kevin.

This is such a good book.

That would be false.

In truth, my life hasn't

changed much at all.

I have.

Breakfast in bed!

Boom!

Wow, thank you!

True, I'm not smiling all the time.

But I am smiling more.

Smiling at the little things.

At my crazy, stressful, over-the-top,

kind of beautiful life.

False, I am a failure.

Yes. Very, very false.

"False."

I'm not perfect.

I make plenty of mistakes.

But I am right

where God wants me to be

and He has given me

everything I need to be a mom.

I'm a mess.

But I'm a beautiful mess.

I'm His masterpiece.

And that's enough.

I love you the most of everybody.

I love you.

Mwah.

Gotta go bowl.

Okay, baby.

Hey, hon.

You have 235 followers.

- Seriously?

- Yeah.

- I have a blog.

- Yes, you do.

I am a mommy blogger.

Yes, you are.

Wow. Hon, your job...

Is hard. Yes, I know.

That's what you

were gonna say, right?

No. Uh, or easy, easy,

maybe? Or unnecessary?

Sorry for interrupting. Just, what?

Important.

That's what I was gonna say.

Your job is important.

I mean, I know it's rough,

but, I mean, look at them.

So worth it.

"The hand that rocks the cradle

"is the hand that rules the world."

Where did you read that?

Some blog somewhere.

Guys. No, hey!

Guys, that's gross.

Don't do that in here.

You're really way too old.

Guys. Stop it!

Stop it right now.

What?

Dance Cam!

Dance, dance, dance...

Go, baby!

Come on, eat your

breakfast. Eat it.

One bite won't kill you.

One bite. Okay. All right,

here we go. Here we go.

Oh, that burns. That's so hot!

That's a lot of pepper.

What are you doing?

Playing hide and go seek.

That was 15 minutes ago!

They still haven't found me.

You know what? I babysat

my cousin's kids once.

We just popped in a movie and

that did it for a few hours.

- What'd you show them?

- Silence of the Lambs.

Oh, yeah, the big church.

We'd love to have you visit

us one Sunday. 11:00 a.m.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Dude, that'd be awesome.

Hey, and you can visit that chair

over there and get a tattoo.

That's something to consider.

I think so, man.

Got it?

- Geronimo!

- Yes!

I hate this car.

You know, like, I feel like

I'm totally built for this.

You know, like, all we need to do

so that we can totally do this.

I'm built for two.

I can handle two.

I'm pregnant.

Oh, hi. Sorry. Thank you.

Tonight has been...

Oh, yeah. It was profound. You

owe me all kinds of money.

Uh-huh. Yes, I do.

No, no, go, go,

you guys. I got this.

What are we talking about here?

Uh, right. What are we

talking about? Let's see.

Uh, tire... Actually, two tires, police

station. So that'll be $984.50, please.

Is that dollars?

No, Chinese yen.

Of course it's dollars.

Hey.

You are so hot right now.

I know, it's disgusting.

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