Mother's Day Page #7

Ready?

Good.

Okay.

Good!

How'd I do?

Amazing. You were so good.

Yeah. Yeah.

It was really...

Help?

Oh, oh, sorry, sorry.

Um, I think

I'm going to go to yoga.

Yeah, yeah, please.

No, yeah,

a little safer, I guess.

Hey, look,

I need your guys' help.

Oh!

Yeah, we've got

the perfect girl for you.

No, no, no, not that.

Look, um,

I want to know everything

you guys know

about this Tommy kid.

I like his mother, Denise.

I know!

She's always

volunteering for school.

That's nice.

Her banana bread is nothing

to write home about.

It's dry on a good day.

Okay, I don't need you talking

trash about her bake sale goods.

Look, I want to know,

should I let her date him?

Do you have a choice?

Where's the yoga class?

It's right over there.

It starts at 10:
00.

Sorry.

Where's he going?

Hey, what are you

doing back there?

Uh... Just checking your form.

It's good. Nice job.

Buns of steel, right?

No, no, no. Yeah, I have a choice, okay?

I'm her father.

Hmm. If you say no,

they start rebelling,

start telling lies

and keeping secrets.

Sneaking out, running away.

Yeah, it could lead to meth,

prostitution and possibly dating a drummer.

Okay, look, that's not

helpful right now.

I want to know one thing,

is he a nice boy or not a nice boy?

That's it.

All redheads are nice.

I think he's a nice boy.

Yeah.

He's all right.

So, what about Mother's Day?

Uh, I'll be back.

Sleep tight, Katie.

All right,

finally got her down to sleep

just in time for

you to take her home.

Hello, I'm sensing

some disappointment.

I would have heard back

from the club by now.

I don't get it.

I thought I killed.

I'm sure you murdered,

destroyed, annihilated.

I must have been better

than the girl with the banjo.

Hey, you are the most

talented comic in this town.

We open in 10 minutes, people.

Sh... What are you, Shorty?

No, I'm just yelling for two.

Ah.

Oh, oh...

Um, Zack, is there any way that

you can watch Katie tomorrow?

I told Val that I'd take her

to a doctor's appointment.

You're taking me to

my doctor's appointment. Yup.

A llama? I would love... Yes.

They would love that.

Okay. Oh, sorry.

You know what?

Can I call you right back?

I have to call you right back.

Thank you.

Hey, Jesse! Honey, I need you to come

over Saturday morning with Tanner.

Well, I'm having

a small party for the kids.

Don't you think

they would like a llama

way more than they'd

like the Foo Fighters?

I mean, come on.

Earl, I'm looking at the

girls when they were younger.

Loving can hurt

Loving can hurt sometimes

But it's the only

thing that I know

We keep this love

in a photograph

We made these memories

for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken

Time's forever frozen still

I will remember

how you kissed me

Under the lamppost

Back on 6th street

Hearing you whisper

through the phone

"Wait for me to come home"

Hello, everybody!

Welcome to Sandy's party!

All right!

We've got Bella

the Balloon Lady,

we've got Marty,

the animal wrangler!

Hi! We've got

Pinwheel painting faces,

and a big slide!

Wow.

Hi.

This is something.

Yeah, I don't know

what happened.

I just called to rent

Bella the Balloon Lady,

and I just couldn't

stop saying yes.

No, no, I like it.

- And then all of this.

- Can we go see the llama?

Yeah, why don't you go.

Let me talk to Sandy.

Go to the petting zoo, honey.

Tortoises, bunnies...

Come on, Tanner.

So, you have not

heard from Russell?

Not a peep, radio silence.

Oh, God. I'm so sorry.

Well, at least you

have Tanner, you know?

He won't bite.

Of course, until the day

that you get a divorce

and then you have to have

that 50/50 shared custody

and then it's just, like, hell.

That's my life.

Wait a second.

That's not your life,

that's my life.

Indians don't

really get divorced.

Tire's good.

I'm all packed.

Now, we can put a whole lot of

gone between us and these, uh...

These, uh...

Oh!

Hot damn!

What is it, Earl?

Someone stole my ignition fuse!

What are we going to do now?

There's a Pep Boys

about a mile back.

I'm going to start walking.

Yeah!

Can I ride the llama?

No.

How about the alpaca?

It's a fun party.

Can you open this, Sam?

Yeah, we can't open...

Sure.

Yeah, hey, how are you doing?

Hey, I'm doing good.

You like some spaghetti?

I'm good, thanks.

You don't like any spaghetti.

Back up, Bozo.

Oh.

The fireworks arrived.

So, I'm going to

go check on Tanner.

Sandy, what's going on?

Yeah. Hey.

Oh, I so...

I'm so sorry.

I completely lost track of time.

I'm supposed to

drop the boys off.

I'm so sorry.

What is all this?

It's a party.

For what?

For fun, on a Saturday...

For fun on a Saturday,

a party for fun on a Saturday.

This is completely unlike you.

What do you mean?

It feels totally like me.

This is completely

irresponsible.

Irresponsible?

I'm irresponsible?

You can call me a lot of things,

but irresponsible

is not one of them.

Listen to me,

when was the last time

you took the kids to a dentist?

Huh?

Or to go buy them,

you know, school supplies

or one of the gazillion

things that I do?

Oh, that's right.

Never.

You have a parental

and legal responsibility

to drop the kids off

at the designated time.

Today is Saturday.

We have them at noon.

You have them tomorrow

on Mother's Day.

Let's go, Mikey, time to go.

Do we have to?

Yes, now, we do.

Where's your brother?

He's on the slide.

Go get your stuff.

Peter. Let's go.

Get down here right now.

No way, I'm not leaving.

Mom said we can have fun.

I don't care what your mom said.

I'm in charge now.

I'm going to count to three

and then I'm coming up there,

one, two, three.

Here I come.

I'm coming up.

Hey. Come on,

Peter. Peter!

Got to catch me first.

Go get your stuff!

Hey, get your stuff.

Oh, sweetie, I wouldn't

touch that if I were... That...

But I like orange.

Damn it, Peter.

Hey, we've got to go.

Oh, well, in that case,

sure, you know, go ahead.

What the...

Yo!

Hello!

Hey! This thing is... God.

Welcome to the book

signing, everyone.

We're here because there's

so few book stores left,

but there will always be books.

Thank you very much.

Who shall I make it out to?

Rory Schroeder.

Rory.

Every piece of jewelry I own

is from your collection.

I love them, and so does Jerald.

But they look better on me.

Who shall I make it out to?

Your daughter.

So, tell me, why now?

Well, I just thought

because she was in Atlanta,

it would be a good time.

I see.

You know, you're the fourth person

to say they're her daughter.

Of course, after Forbes

listed Miranda as the top 50

female entrepreneurs

in this country, how convenient.

I have this.

Anybody could have forged

this and even if it's real,

you're not going to get

a dime out of her.

Okay, this was

a mistake. I...

Could you please

just let her know

that I never wanted

anything from her?

Well, that was historic.

That was a historic disaster.

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