Mr. Bean's Holiday

Synopsis: Mr. Bean enters a church raffle and wins a vacation trip to France as well as a camcorder. After boarding a Eurostar train and arriving in Paris, the French language proves a barrier for Bean, as he struggles to get across the city to catch a train to the south of France from the Gare de Lyon. Taking time to order a meal, he finds the consumption of a seafood platter to be a challenge. Just before catching his train, he asks Emil, a Russian film director on his way to be a judge at the Cannes Film festival to use his camcorder to record his boarding, but accidentally causes Emil being left behind at the station. Bean attempts to cheer up the director's son Stepan as the train continues south but matters are made more hectic by the fact that Emil has reported his son to have been kidnapped and Bean losing his wallet and essential travel documents at a pay phone where he and Stepan attempt to contact Emil. Heading in the direction of Cannes, Bean finds himself in the cast and disrupting
Genre: Comedy, Family
Director(s): Steve Bendelack
Production: Universal Pictures
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.4
Metacritic:
56
Rotten Tomatoes:
52%
G
Year:
2007
90 min
$32,553,210
Website
6,125 Views


Three one. Thirty-one.

- Over here!

- Ah, Mrs Lucas.

Congratulations, Mrs Lucas.

And now, to the first prize in today's raffle

in aid of the "roof appeal."

Thank you, Lily.

Indeed. The magnificent holiday

to the South of France,

kindly sponsored

by Dalesborough Travel Limited.

So thank you, guys.

The winner of this prize will travel

by Eurostar train to Paris,

then catch the fast train south

before spending the week on the beaches

of the French Riviera.

This fabulous prize also includes

200 euros spending money

and, Barbara, this wonderful video camera,

kindly donated by A&K Electrics

of Arbor Road. So thank you.

Right. The winner of this amazing prize is...

Nine one nine.

Nine one nine.

Anybody have ticket 919?

If there is no claimant, I'll have to pick

another ticket from the bucket.

Anyone?

Yes.

Yes!

Yes!

It's me. It's me. I'm the...

Cannes. Cannes.

Coffee?

Sugar?

You speak very good French.

Hello.

Oui, choo-choo, Gare de Lyon.

To the arch at La Dfense, please.

Look. Should we do anything?

Relax.

I think he's English.

Monsieur Clay, how long

will you stay in Paris?

Of course I'll be in Cannes

Sunday for my premiere.

Until then, I'm working

on an exciting new project

with this wonderful actress, Sylvie.

- Sabine.

- Right.

One last question,

please. Mr Clay.

Out of the way!

Out of the way!

12:
05.

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

1:
00.

Are you here for lunch?

Follow me.

May I recommend the seafood platter?

Yes?

Yes.

What is this?

What's this?

Don't forget the langoustines.

Cannes.

Could you video me?

Yeah.

No, back. Back a bit.

Back, back, back, back, stop.

Okay.

No, no, no, no.

Back, back, I'II...

We'll do it again, eh?

Stop. Help!

Open... Open the door.

There's nothing here.

Stop!

Hey!

Help! Help! Open...

Papa!

Papa!

- Papa, what should I do?

- Get off at the next stop.

Papa!

No!

My bag.

Look at that...

Yes.

Stay calm.

Papa!

The train's not stopping.

Papa, what should I do?

Mobile telephone.

Papa! Papa!

His fingers are over the last two numbers.

Right. 06, 08...

I'll write down all the possibles.

01, 02,

03, 04...

...59, 60...

...97, 98,

Mr Dupont is unavailable.

Hurry up and get on!

Tickets, please.

You get in there. Go, go.

Excuse me.

Can I have some money, please,

so I can telephone my Dad?

Please?

Please?

Thank you.

What's all that?

Yes!

Come on.

I gave him my number. He will ring.

Don't worry, he will ring.

Stop them!

Vandals!

I'm hungry.

Come on.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Do you have some proper music?

Something that I'd like to listen to.

Okay, never mind. Bye.

To Cannes?

Damn!

What the...

What's this?

No...

Good.

Wait!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...

Wait, wait!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Cut! Cut! Cut!

What the hell is he doing?

Where did he come from?

Some of us here

are trying to make a work of art!

Everyone, back in position!

Get him in something different

and put him in the background.

You, sweetheart. You never stop, okay?

Remember, you're crazy

for the taste of Fruzzi yogurt.

Well, how long does it take to reset?

Then why is everyone

moving in slow motion?

Yeah, there's a hook.

Cannes jury member Emil Dachevsky,

the Russian film director,

explained that his son Stepan was last seen

on a train with a mysterious foreigner.

As soon as I saw him I thought, "He's evil."

Action!

Cut!

The guy with the video camera is fired.

You're fired!

What?

Down again!

- Are you ready?

- Yep.

Action!

Cut! Cut! Cut!

My explosion!

Where's my explosion?

All I want is an explosion.

A little, tiny explosion.

Is that too much to ask?

Damn it.

Is it really so hard for you guys?

I mean, all you have to do is this.

Hello.

You saved my life earlier.

Going far?

Isn't she a beauty?

Dunlop.

I'm going to Cannes.

Cannes. Cannes.

Come on, get in.

Look at this.

So, you're Spanish?

No?

What is that accent?

Wait.

Let me guess.

You're not Italian?

- No.

- No.

No.

And you're not Greek, no?

You are...

You're Russian, yes?

- What kind of idiot are you?

- What kind of duck are you?

My name is Sabine.

I am Sabine... And you are?

Bean.

Bean?

Bean.

Bean. Sabine.

Bean. Sabine.

Bean, Sabine. Bean, Sabine. Bean, Sabine.

Bean, Sabine.

Do you like my costumes?

I love dressing up.

My invitation to the Cannes Film Festival.

Remember the director

of the yogurt commercial?

Cut. Cut.

I have a small part in his film.

I'm going to be a big star.

He says it's his masterpiece.

I need the loo.

Sorry.

I never got on the bus.

I was with these cool guys.

Hello.

I can't wait to show this to Papa.

It's amazing meeting your son like that.

Is she your girlfriend?

You're full of surprises.

Are you going to marry her?

So does that mean you're married?

Telephone! Papa!

Estelle, tell me you love me or it's over.

We made it.

The sea! I can see the sea!

Thank you.

Can you video me now?

You can see Cannes over there.

Oh, my goodness,

the premiere starts in an hour.

Bienvenue and welcome

to the 59th Cannes

International Film Festival.

And on the red carpet is Mr Carson Clay,

the director of our premiere, Playback Time.

And jury member Mr Emil Dachevsky,

attending today despite there being

no news of his missing son.

I'm going to get changed.

Fill her up.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Mr Carson Clay.

This film is for all of us

who hunger for truth.

For all of us who cry out in pain.

For those whose souls yearn to sing.

He says it's a very good film.

As pictures were released of the Englishman

believed to have abducted the son

of Cannes film festival jury member

Emil Dachevsky,

a positive ID of the boy was made

at a service station yesterday.

The police now believe the man is travelling

with a female accomplice.

A national manhunt has been launched

and stop-and-search procedures

have been instigated right across France.

You are not Russian?

No.

You are not this boy's father?

No.

You are English?

Do you know the whole of France

is looking for you?

Now they look for me, too.

Who are you? Where are you going?

To the beach.

This boy's father is a judge at the premiere

of my film. We take him there.

And the beach?

Forget the beach.

I have only one scene in this movie.

I am not going to miss this premiere.

Not for you, not for the police. Okay?

Now, do as I say.

My daughter.

My mother.

She's Spanish,

and very deaf.

Sir, we're in a great hurry.

I don't want to miss my premiere.

No problem. Leave it to us.

Come on, we'll find Papa.

Here you are, sir.

It's for one person only.

No, she's my daughter! Please!

Leave her with Grandma.

Damn!

What is life

but a teardrop in the eye of infinity?

Together we lived, we laughed, we loved.

But you left me.

And now, I walk this wilderness alone.

What use is a cop with a broken heart?

Without you, I'm nothing.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing.

Stop!

Your pass, please, madam.

The Romans lit fires in the skulls

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Hamish McColl

Hamish McColl (born January 28, 1962) is a British comedian, writer and actor. He trained at the Ecole Phillippe Gaulier, Paris and Cambridge University. With Sean Foley, he formed the double act The Right Size in 1988, creating comic theatre shows which toured all over the world. More recently he has worked as a screenwriter, scripting Mr. Bean's Holiday and Johnny English Reborn, plus contributing to the story of Paddington. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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