Mr. Jones

---

Good morning, it's 7:00 a.m.

Got the Godfa ther of Soul comin' at you

and he wants to know, how do you feel?

Anybody home?

- You the foreman?

- Yeah, I'm the foreman. I don't want any.

- I'm your new carpenter.

- What?

I read the ad in the newspaper

for carpenters. Here I am.

No, no. We filled that job.

Got a full house, buddy. Sorry.

You're making a big mistake here.

I'm a precision machine, man!

I can do twice the work

of any of these guys. I swear.

Great. I'll alert the media.

- The media?

- The media.

- East Coast?

- Yeah.

New York, upstate? Syracuse?

Where?

- I'm from Binghamton.

- Binghamton! I was close!

I don't believe this!

What?

Look.

Give me this. This first day,

I work for free.

I give it to you, it's a gift.

Second day, you pay me for two days.

Third day, I have your job.

- One day! One day!

- All right. One day.

- Start upstairs. On the roof.

- Thanks. You're a good man.

Binghamton! Man, I'm embarrassed!

Where do I go, man? Give me a job!

- Work with him.

- Okay.

Hey, guys!

What's your name, man?

Howard. What's yours?

What the f*** are you doing?

Seven kids.

- Right.

- Right. You got it. Boys, girls?

- Five girls, two boys.

- That's great, man. That's great.

- Congratulations.

- All right.

A lot of mouths to feed there.

You got that right.

Take them all out to dinner. Do that.

- What's this?

- I just found it on the street. It's $100.

- Just take them out to dinner.

- I'm not taking your money.

No, really. I'll tell you what happened.

It's the truth.

I'm walking down the street,

I look down and there it is.

I bend down to pick it up...

a voice out of nowhere says,

"Give it to Howard".

I didn't know a Howard until today!

It must be you! Your lucky day.

- I'm not taking your money.

- Take the money! It's not a big deal.

Take it! For the kids.

Take them to dinner.

A couple of Big Macs.

"I feel good

"Like I knew that I would now

"I feel good"

You like chop suey?

I'll make it up to you. Trust me.

Hello? Hi.

How are you?

Fine. Yeah.

Tonight?

Tonight's fine. No!

No, nothing that I can't cancel.

Okay. So, I guess I'll see you tonight, then.

Okay. 'Bye.

Come on up, man.

Look at this sh*t.

Man! Do you ever feel like flying, Howard?

Just taking off?

- Just fly away!

- Why the hell not?

Fly.

"Why the hell not?"

Exactly, why the hell not?

No goddamn reason why not, Howard.

What are you doing, man?

Now, if you look at the situation here...

what we got here is a roof...

75 pitch, which is very nice.

I wouldn't go no further, man.

What we're looking for here is a balance.

All we gotta do is find a little...

equilibrium.

We got the westerlies coming in.

Fourteen, fifteen miles an hour.

Come on. Step back here, man.

Howard, let me tell you something, man.

This is basic physics, okay?

All you gotta do is find

a little equilibrium here.

Some equilibrium and a little balance.

Give me a rope, somebody.

Give me a rope!

It's equilibrium. Balance, Howard.

Lots of balance. Balance.

- Balance.

- Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed.

Balance....

The force of the thrust against the drag.

And then you get lift-off!

- Feels good?

- It feels great!

- Come on, baby!

- I'm coming!

It's all right! I'll take care of you.

- We're gonna fly!

- I know. We gonna fly!

Yes, indeed. We gonna fly.

Got the drag on there.

- Got the drag on, man.

- I feel it.

Now don't turn away from me!

Come here!

- Talk to me.

- Here we come!

Don't move away from me!

- Stay with me.

- Here we come!

Don't go no further! Don't go no further!

You don't have to do this.

You don't have to do this, man. Okay?

Come on, come on.

Stay right there. Let me talk to you.

Just stay right there.

I'm a plane! I'm gonna swoop down!

I'm gonna fly!

- Howard?

- Look at me, man. Look at me.

This is what we're gonna do.

We're gonna fly down,

come around the front of the ambulance...

come around the back.

I'm gonna land right on that bed!

In fact, I'll go around it three times

and then let down!

So just move the bed around a little bit!

I'll slide right in!

- You're late.

- You're later. She'll be mad.

I'm terrified.

The Psychiatric Emergency Room is closed

almost daily because of the staff cuts.

The situation here...

is also dire.

Our unofficial policy is evaluate...

medicate, vacate.

Sound cold-blooded?

It is.

They need the treatment

and we need the beds.

At this point, I'd like to turn you over

to two of my staff...

Dr. Elizabeth Bowen and Dr. Patrick Shea.

They'll show you around the facilities.

I trust you'll enjoy your visit. Thank you.

- Good morning.

- Good afternoon.

In the years 1970 to 1975,

four US mental hospitals....

I must speak with....

Okay. Welcome.

That was our good friend, Mr. Wilson.

Dr. Bowen and I will be going on rounds,

so follow us, please.

Come in. Move around there,

let everyone in. Don't be shy.

He won't bite, we hope.

What have we got here?

We have a male Caucasian.

He's approximately 35.

Was brought in by the police.

He was doing a high-wire act on a roof.

When he came in, he was highly agitated,

delusional, having auditory hallucinations.

Has anyone examined him yet?

The resident made a preliminary diagnosis

of paranoid schizophrenia.

What did they give him?

Haldol, 10 milligrams. That's pretty heavy.

It seems to have worked.

This is a new patient.

What's the first thing we do?

- Assess the patient's orientation.

- Very good, very good. Elizabeth?

Can you tell me your name?

No name, no history.

No one on the job knew him.

Do you know what day this is?

What?

Jones.

What'd he say?

I think he said, "Jones".

His name is Jones.

Jones....

- Hi.

- Hi.

I'm so glad to see you.

What did you do to your hair?

- You look great! You look wonderful!

- Thanks. Is this a bad time?

No, no. The painting's in the bedroom.

And, you have....

You have some mail.

- Libbie....

- Hi.

This is June.

It's so nice to meet you.

You know, it's been six months, Libbie.

I just thought it was time

you should meet her.

Take your crap out of the medicine cabinet,

while you're at it.

All right, okay.

You're a robot, you know that?

I can't hear you.

You're not a real person.

Only a mutant would pull a stunt like this.

Are you talking to yourself, Libbie?

Yeah, I'm talking to myself.

Who would have thought

that I'd be on the Johnny Carson Show?

Did you know, when I was born...

l didn't have a name

till I was 3 years old?

Why?

Because my father,

who's this really rigid old Chinese guy...

told me that when I was little,

there was an ancient Chinese tradition...

where the unborn child knows its name

before it's even born.

So the parents listen for it

and they try to get the name.

Obviously, in my case,

they couldn't hear it.

It's not like they weren't listening,

it was on purpose.

My mother wanted to name me Miranda

because she liked to dress like that.

With fruit and stuff.... I mean, hats!

I don't understand these hats.

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