Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium Page #2

Synopsis: Molly Mahoney is the manager of Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, the awesome toy store owned by Mr. Edward Magorium. Molly was a promising composer and piano player when she was a girl, and now she is a twenty-three year-old insecure woman who feels stuck in her job. Among the costumers of the Emporium is the lonely hat collector, Eric Applebaum, who has only Molly and Mr. Magorium for friends. When the last pair of shoes that Mr. Magorium bought in Toscana is worn, he hires the accountant, Henry Weston to adjust the accounts of the Emporium. Furthermore, he claims that he is two hundred and forty-three years old and his time to go has come; he gives a block of wood called Congreve cube to Molly and asks Henry to transfer the Emporium to her name. Molly tries to convince Mr. Magorium to stay in his magical toy store instead of "going".
Director(s): Zach Helm
Production: 20th Century Fox
  3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.2
Metacritic:
48
Rotten Tomatoes:
38%
G
Year:
2007
93 min
$32,100,000
Website
1,702 Views


out of here, will ya?

Hey. Whoa.

Okay, that's right.

All right, bring it up,

bring it up, bring it up.

Hello, excuse me, miss. Hi.

Oh, hi.

Um... hi.

Um...

Hello.

Um... I believe Mr. Magorium

sent for me.

Oh. Wow.

You're really well-dressed

for a shadow puppeteer.

No, no... I'm Henry Weston,

the accountant.

Here for an interview.

Ah... hello.

My name is Mahoney.

I am the store manager.

Pleasure to meet you.

I have to admit,

when the agency sent me,

I had no idea

that this was a toy store.

Shh!

If these kids found out

this was a toy store,

we'd have a madhouse on our hands.

That was a joke.

I know.

Okay.

Uh... you probably want to speak

to Mr. Magorium.

Why don't you give me a second.

Hi.

What is it?

What?

It's not real nice

to stare at people, you know?

Why don't you just

go ahead and...

This happens every time.

Ah, greetings.

Edward Magorium-

toy impresario,

wonder aficionado,

avid shoe-wearer.

You're here for the

accounting position.

Yes. Henry Weston.

Mm-hmm. Name the

Fibonacci series

from its 11 th to its 16th integer.

Hello? Grandma?

Uh... 89,

144, 233,

377, 610?

Perfect.

The number four-

do we really need it?

If you like squares, you do.

Oh, I like squares.

Good. Now,

the hot dog to

hot dog bun ratio-

why, for the love of mustard,

are there never enough buns?

Extra hot dogs.

Yes, but why?

In case you drop a couple.

What kind of insufferable

fool drops a hot dog?

Anything can happen, sir.

Anything can happen, hmm?

How absolutely true.

You're exactly the mutant

I'm looking for.

You're hired.

What?

- You're hired!

- That's it, huh?

- That's all I need.

- Uh, sir...

- Don't you agree, Mahoney?

- No, not exactly.

Perfect. I've heard

great things about you.

Really?

No, not yet,

but I'm sure I will. Oh!

I see you've brought

your abacus along. Top-notch.

Come along.

I'll show you the store.

# Bum, bum, bum #

#The store and then I'll

show you my office... #

Duck, duck, duck...

Goose!

We sell almost every kind

of whatnot imaginable, Mutant,

from ant farms to zeppelins.

I've owned this store

for 113 years,

ever since I came

to this country,

although I've been inventing

toys since the mid-1770s.

- Wha... Excuse me, sir?

- Yes?

Did you say 1770s?

Yes, sir. So, as you

can imagine, accounting

is a brand-new concept to me.

You know, that would make you

at least 240 years old, sir.

You're already hired, Mutant.

There's no need to show off.

Now, follow me.

Here we are.

I haven't thrown anything away.

Yeah, yeah, I can see that.

Are-are all these receipts?

Mostly. Some are

important documents.

Others might be doodles

I never framed.

I can't tell the difference.

So you've obviously never kept

an account of your income.

No.

Or filed a tax return?

No.

Renewed your city business license?

Renewed my?

Renewed your...

Eh, forget it.

You realize to

determine the worth

of this store out of this,

um... fire hazard, really,

is an insurmountable task,

and if you have...

somehow managed to keep

from going bankrupt

or being evicted,

sent to prison for

tax evasion, uh...

Oh-ho.

...why do you want to do this now?

Ah, yes.

Can you keep a secret?

The firm holds a very strict

exclusivity policy.

Don't worry.

But can you keep a secret?

Yes, sir.

I'm leaving.

The store?

The world.

You see these shoes?

I found these

in a tiny little shop

in Tuscany

and fell in love with them

so entirely,

I bought enough

to last my whole life.

These are my last pair.

So, if you'll excuse me,

I have a pressing marbles match,

and I must warm up

my thumbs.

Eric! Are you ready

for our marbles match?

- Mr. Magorium?

- Yes?

- Does that seem right to you?

- Does what?

No, this doesn't seem right at all.

We must keep a watchful

eye on this, Eric, hmm?

Don't worry, I'm...

fine up here, guys.

This chapter is called

"No, Seriously, Watch. "

No, seriously,

watch.

No way!

Come on.

Whoa!

This is so cool.

- Come on!

- Let's go!

Wow!

Uh-oh.

It's so good.

Somebody!

Help! Help!

Pretty impressive ball, isn't it?

Lmpossible to dodge.

This boy's weird.

Mahoney,

have you seen Mister...

Good night!

Have you seen Mr. Magorium?

Yeah. He's, um,

he's about this tall.

He's got crazy eyebrows...

He's upstairs.

Thank you.

You really got to get better

with the jokes, Mutant.

I'm laughing on the inside.

Mr. Magorium.

- Mutant.

Mr. Magorium...

Come to accept

my hula hoop challenge?

We have a few serious problems.

Ooh, serious problems.

I don't have any serious problems.

You do, actually.

I don't think so.

What about this, uh, invoice

from this company in Brazil?

They say that

you owe them $300,000

for a magic

doorknob?

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Thank you.

$300,000 for a doorknob?

I've never paid over $200,000.

Here, catch.

What about Bellini?

Bellini's the

book builder

born in the basement.

You have a tenant in the basement?

He was born there.

I certainly can't ask him to leave.

Okay.

According to your

employment records,

you've had several fictional

characters on the books.

- Like whom?

- The King of Planet Yaweh.

Oh, he's not fictional.

Sir, there are people...

He's not really

the king,

and the planet Yaweh

doesn't exist,

but he's not fictional.

Well, that's the thing.

If there's no planet...

- Mr. Weston,

- Yes, sir?

You can't blame people

for having aspirations, hmm?

Oh.

Sorry.

I just sort of took over.

I thought it was

funny, but I guess...

Sorry.

Hey, who did that?

I did that.

No, seriously, who helped?

No one.

Mahoney? Hello.

Got a quick question.

Quick one. Quickie. Hey.

Okay, Mutant.

I need your help

explaining this history

that Mr. Magorium has fabricated.

What history he's fabricated?

This one I've got

here- for instance,

got a signed I.O.U.

From Thomas Edison.

Really?!

"P.S. Thanks for the idea. "

With a picture of the

lightbulb next to it.

Is that for real?

No. No, it's...

it's not for real.

It's a signed I.O.U.

From Thomas Edison.

Does that seem

like something

that would exist in

the real world to you?

Well, it does have

his signature on it.

Hello? Please?

Give me one second, please?

Mahoney, wait.

I just need...

a simple explanation.

Sure. It's a magical toy store.

There's no such thing

as a magical toy store.

Of course there is.

When you say "magical,"

do you mean "special"?

- No, I mean "magical. "

- "Unique"?

- "Magical. "

- How about...

"Really, really cool"?

Okay.

What's behind me, all right...

is a toy store.

It is a big one,

it is a weird one,

but it is just...

a toy store.

I knew it

as soon as I saw that suit.

Knew what?

You're a "just" guy.

What's a "just" guy?

A guy just like you.

Same hair, same suit, same shoes.

Walks around.

No matter what,

he thinks, "Oh,

"it's just a store.

"This is just a bench.

"It's just a tree. "

It's just what it is, nothing more.

Okay, but-but this...

is just a store.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Zach Helm

Zach Helm (born January 21, 1975 in Santa Clara, California) is an American writer, director, and producer. The son of school teachers, Helm was raised in a town of less than 50 citizens in the Sierra Nevadas of California. He first became known for writing Stranger than Fiction (2006), which garnered much notoriety for Helm, including awards from the National Board of Review and PEN International. He is best known internationally for his acclaimed stage play Good Canary, which has been translated and produced around the world, garnering multiple awards and accolades. He is also known for the film Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007) (which he wrote and directed) and his one-man performance pieces, most notably his revival of Spalding Gray's Interviewing The Audience. Helm has also spent much time developing his own "open input" approach to drama, a collaborative process focused on helping artists mine narrative material from the real world. Using interviews, physical research, devised theater techniques and dramaturgy, the egalitarian approach has been used by Helm to help artists around the world, from primary school children to amateur filmmakers. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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