Mrs. Brown's Boys D'Movie Page #3

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would go without a fight?

Wife!

When they tried to double the price

of the licence, who beat them down?

Agnes.

When the Corporation tried to reduce

the stall space, who told them to...

Agnes!

Jesus Christ.

Oh, Winnie. What have you feckin' started?

# Oh, we're going to Jamaica

# Oh, back to the palm trees #

Rip off heads!

Not yet.

Mr Bogmonovitch

doesn't like public meetings.

This Mrs Brown, she has a mouth on her.

I was there, remember?

Now I wouldn't be getting too worried

about a little local public meeting.

Mr Bogmonovitch says that we should

rip off her head and sheet down her neck.

Well, yes, Gregor, if the need arises.

But for now, let's keep the whole thing

under the radar.

Let's keep this quiet, hmm?

Mummy' they're talking

about Granny on the TV.

But what we know is Agnes Brown

is a mother of six children

whom she reared alone.

Her only income

is from her Moore Street stall

which has been handed down from

mother to daughter for generations

- and which, I believe, is now under threat.

- Yes, Eamonn,

I'm here on Moore Street with Rab Patel...

A shop owner originally from Jamaica.

Tell me, Mr Patel, what exactly

is the threat facing this market?

This is not new.

There is someone trying to drive us

all out of Moore Street Market.

A developer. And he knows who he is!

OK, enough now. Move on.

Seriously, go now. I have work to do.

Hey! F*** off!

Move it! Shoo!

Well, you've certainly made a splash.

I've no time for that shite, Annie.

Fresh fruit and vegetables!

As seen on TV!

Just the one, love? That'll be 75 cents.

75 f***ing cent.

Now it's a smoothie. That's 2.50.

Hey! You sell your stall, you stupid b*tch!

Excuse me a moment.

Anything else, love?

- I'll be back.

- Hasta la vista, Arnie.

And you'll want to bring more

than the Blues Brothers.

You'll f***ing need them.

Are you all right, Mammy?

Rab Patel is right.

Somethings going on, Dermot.

I've just been threatened by Russian thugs.

- Russian?

- I think they'll be back.

Why?

'Cause he said "I'll be back".

Hiya, Gloria. I'm looking for Buster Brady.

Is he doing something here?

- That little sh*t. He's down the big hall.

- Thank you.

You must use your senses.

Trust them.

They will tell you where the glass is.

You're like a cheetah in the dark,

but you'd know exactly

where to place your foot.

You're invincible.

A human radar.

Hiya, Dermot. Here, I'll

leave that with you.

What the hell are you doing?

Just helping Mr Wang.

Ah, you dope.

- Medic!

- On my way.

Mr Wang hurt his leg,

so I just said I'd help out.

Ninja, for the blind?

Hello, friend of Misser Busser.

You're very welcome to Mr Wang

number one Ninja School for the Brind.

He's not even Chinese!

Herro, Mr Taliban! I'm

from Sichuan Province.

He's from Finglas.

Everybody look at me and say

"What you doing in my country?"

I say "Ha, Chinese". They go...

- Keep going.

- I'm sorry.

Your spit went past me.

You only see brind people.

You do not see that

they see more than you see.

Please, show some respect.

You brind f***er. I kill you!

Come on, let's get out of here.

I need to talk to you.

Mammy has a problem,

and I think the Russians are involved.

The Russians?

I'm not getting involved in that.

Marie is thinking about setting up a fund.

A fund? I'm in.

I kill you! You can't run, you can't hide!

I kill you!

A quiz night.

That should raise at least 200 Euro.

This lawyer and the barrister

could cost up to 25,000.

I've a sponsor here who'll pay 5,000 Euro

if somebody agrees

to swim across the Channel.

- No.

- Wait, I'll do that.

- Really?

- Oh, Maria, he's a great swimmer.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah. How hard can it be?

We could make it really big.

It could be the launch of the whole thing.

Right' then, let's do it. This weekend.

What? Do you not need

to train for a few weeks?

- Not at all.

- A wonderful swimmer.

A dolphin.

I thought she said the canal.

Shh.

Now just do your best.

Just go as far as you can.

You're very brave.

I have this, thank you' Barbara.

Fine.

This is an injustice

of mammoth proportions.

A widow being persecuted

while the bankers and developer barons

ride roughshod over the law!

Five, four, three, two, one.

Go!

It's freezing!

Rory! Rory!

Barbara, towel.

Rory!

Rory!

Rory, come back!

OK, when we get in here,

let me do the talking.

These Russians don't scare loo easy,

so let's try and sort this diplomatically.

OK.

And you know the drill. If it looks like

it's gonna kick off, what do we do?

- Run like f***.

- Exactly.

Excuse me.

We don't want any bad blood between us,

but one of you lot threatened my

mother, and I'm not having that.

What the f***?

I think he said everybody can be friends.

How do you know'?

I used to have a Russian girlfriend.

Well, "girlfriend's" a bit strong.

She gave me a discount.

Well, tell him that we want to be friends.

Way to go, Buster. Well done.

I will not kill your mother

because her name is Agnes.

It was my grandmother's name.

- He said...

- I heard him.

And what is your name?

Buster.

But all my friends call me Agnes.

These are a serious bunch.

Maybe. But they don't have what we have.

Ninjas.

Shut up, Buster.

Give me that phone here.

Hello?

This is Red Dog.

We need to get the unit together.

I have a little job.

- So that's them'?

- Yeah.

Time we sent them a little message.

- A bomb?

- Yeah.

Just enough to turn that

coffee bar into a car park.

And who's making the device?

He should be here any minute.

Here he is now' right on time.

He's priming the device.

Then he'll drive it up to the target.

That looks likes "The Hammer Murphy.

It is. The best in the business.

Ah... And I thought he had Parkinson's.

Oh, sh*t. Scatter.

Eileen, did you see somebody blew up

the Parkinson's charity shop last night?

I did. Disgraceful.

Should be ashamed of themselves.

Agnes Brown.

- Philomena Nine Warts.

- There you are.

I was looking for you everywhere.

Well I wasn't feckin' hiding.

I wanted to tell you something.

This is all very dramatic.

I just didn't want to be discussing your

private business in front of everybody.

My private business.

I was at the bingo last night and I was

talking to the girls about your tax thing.

- My private tax thing?

- Yeah.

Go on.

- The next thing, my granny...

- Mary Moccasin.

She said she was in the Revenue Office

paying her tax

the same day your granny was there

and she saw your granny paying the bill.

- Wife my granny paid it'?

- Yep.

- Wife love to talk to your granny.

- Wife problem.

Droopy drawers. 44.

Two fat ladies, 88.

Hello, Mary.

Now Mary, can you tell us what you remember

about that morning in the Revenue Office?

She's a bit deaf.

Oh, right. Sorry, right.

Mary! Can you tell me...

Excuse me. She said "deaf" not "retarded".

Gran, can you tell the man

about the Revenue Office

with Mrs Brown's granny.

Um, yeah. Hmm-mmm.

That's fantastic.

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