Mrs. Brown's Boys D'Movie Page #5

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Here, two euro, please.

Father, are you doing confessions today?

- I'm heading there right now.

- I'll follow you over in about five minutes.

Grand.

Annie, I have to go on an errand.

Keep an eye on the stall for me, will you?

Do you need me to?

Cathy, what are you doing?

- I came down to see you.

- Can you hang on a few minutes?

Sure.

Thanks, love.

- Are you there, Father?

- I am.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

Go ahead.

Father, everybody's talking about me

in the newspaper, the radio,

as being the perfect mother.

But I'm not.

I've done a terrible thing.

Just a second, Mrs Brown.

What you've done, is it a sin?

What?

You don't have to tell me

anything unless it's a sin.

Really think, now.

Well, I don't know if it's a sin, but

I put my children into care

when they were babies,

when my husband died.

I see.

Well, that's no harm and no sin,

so don't tell me any more.

There is one sinful bit about it.

I carried on collecting the children's

allowance while they were in care.

Thank you very much, Father.

I feel much better.

This is day one of the

court case that the country is dubbing

Molly Malone versus Big Business,

David versus Goliath.

Muhammad Ali versus

anybody small who doesn't box.

This could be the shortest

court battle on record,

as it seems that once

the trader in question,

mother of six, Mrs Agnes Brown,

produces a receipt for the payment,

it's case over.

Irma Byke at Dublin's courts.

All rise for Justice Cannon.

You may be seated.

Do we have all the parties here?

Yes, I am the

solicitor for the defendant, Tom Crews.

And, Justice, I am Senior Counsel.

Let me guess. Tom Hanks?

- Mr Maydo Archer.

- Mr Maydo Archer.

I have not seen you in a

courtroom for a very long time.

- Indeed, Justice.

- Do we still have that Tourette's thing?

Not nearly as much, Justice. And I do

not anticipate it affecting this case.

Ah, well, welcome back.

Who have we here for the State?

Michael Gibney, solicitor, Justice. I...

...await Senior Counsel.

Here, Justice.

Wank, wank.

What did

you say, Mr Maydo Archer?

- He said "wank, wank".

- Nothing, Justice. Just clearing my throat.

- A wank won't clear your throat, son.

- Agnes, shut up, please.

- Good morning, Mrs Brown.

- Morning.

I won't keep you very long.

Mrs Brown, can you show the

court the receipt in question?

No.

The receipt is in the National Records.

But I was told by Philomena Nine Warts's

granny, Mary Moccasin,

that she stood beside my

grandmother when she paid it.

Well then, let's have Mrs Moccasin

up here to tell us that.

She's dead.

How unfortunate.

Justice, with no receipt in

existence and no witness,

well, I believe we're in

a position for judgement.

Justice...

Mrs Brown is a well-regarded member of the

community of traders in Moore Street.

Her integrity as a stallholder

and as a mother is beyond reproach.

"Beyond reproach"?

Let's examine that, then, shall we?

You don't mind a little examination,

Mrs Brown, do you?

Not as long as I can leave my clothes on.

Mrs Brown, this isn't the first time you

have defrauded the State of money, is it'?

Silence in court, please!

I beg your pardon.

I am referring to the weeks

after your husband's death,

and the children's allowance you collected.

MAYDO; Justice...

This woman had just become a widow.

She had six children at home to feed.

Mrs Brown was only collecting

what was rightfully hers.

Silence, please! Silence!

Did you, Mrs Brown...

Did you have six children at home to feed?

Please answer the question, Mrs Brown.

Did you have six children at home to feed?

No.

That's correct.

Because, in fact, you had put

your children into care!

Will you be quiet, please!

Isn't that correct?

Yes, I did.

I'm so sorry.

Order! Order! Order!

Justice, I presume you are ready

to pass judgement on this.

Mr Maydo Archer'?

Justice' at the preliminary, f***, hearing,

you asked us to produce, sh*t...

Produce the receipt in two weeks, wanks.

Those two weeks end tomorrow.

Gobble, gobble, nice, nice, give it a rub.

Reconvene tomorrow morning at 10:30 a.m.

What do you think of that?

- Think of what?

- Forget it.

Right, lads, who wants to join me

in a real ninja mission?

Yes!

Yeah!

Over here, lads.

It's too short.

Pull me up.

Guys, you've got to see this.

You gonna call the cops?

No, the Russians said to wait

till they were leaving.

Nice one, lads.

Oh yeah, brilliant.

Oh, sorry.

Excuse me.

I hope you're recording this, mate.

This would get a million

hits before midnight.

That's it.

Right' lads, I'm down.

- How do we get down?

- It's not that high. Just drop.

You were all just babies,

and it was only for a couple of weeks.

I kinda remember.

I just thought we were on a holiday.

Has Mammy come home, then?

Then we need to get out there and find her.

Mark, I have her. Tell the others.

See you at home.

Everybody's looking for you.

Are they?

You'd wonder why.

Because they're worried.

We want you home safe.

I wanted all youse home safe.

I just couldn't cope.

Mammy, it was what it was.

Nobody blames you.

I do.

You know, they asked me...

The nuns.

They asked me if I could manage

with any of youse.

I said, "Maybe two."

So they lined youse all up.

And she said, "Pick two."

I couldn't.

Sophie's choice.

Come on...

Let's get you home.

Who the f*** is Sophie?

OK, lads, now we're in,

how do we find the receipt?

It will be in a box.

This is like walking in a maze.

If Mary Moccasin's receipt is 4-5-8,

then it has to be 4-5-9.

Hmm.

4-5-5.

4-5-6, 4-5-7, 4-5-8, 4-6-0.

It's missing.

- The Russians must have got here before us.

- Russians, Dermot.

Herro, Dermot. Dermot, it's gone.

- There's no receipt here.

- No receipt. 4-5-9 missing!

Ask him did Liverpool win.

Well, any news?

Still looking. They're still looking.

You know, just before my father die...

He look into my eyes, and he say to me...

What does it say?

What, Joe?

The card. Mrs Moccasin's card.

What does it say? Read it.

Moccasin, paid 34 pounds.

- Agent Betty Beacon.

- Betty Beacon.

She was the first blind person

employed by the Irish Civil Service Board.

Brind?

The government had to spend 500 pounds

on a Braille typewriter.

So?

The Russians might have got

the regular typewritten receipt.

There must also be one in Braille, too.

We need to find the Braille section.

Gregor, there's something

going on down here.

What do you mean?

They're all going mad down there.

Where are they now'?

You're kidding me.

Braille?

It's Buster.

Hello, Buster.

We have it, Dermo'. We have it!

Buster, are you there?

Shush, everybody.

I think someone's coming.

Hey, you!

Oh, sh*t. Gotta go, Dermo'.

Coppers! Everybody hide!

Well?

I dunno. He was breaking up.

Right, let's get to the courts.

I wanna go down to Moore Street first.

I owe them all an apology.

If they're even talking to me.

I gave them all hope.

"Good old Agnes."

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