Murphy's Law Page #2

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against this scumbag cop here.

Police brutality.

He assaulted me for absolutely

no reason, and then he tried to rape me.

Sounds like you got

yourself a real live one.

Suck a doorknob, you homo.

She got any ID?

Get your hands off me, f*ggot!

Get this.

"Arabella."

"Arabella McGee."

Arabella. Cute.

Hey, sit on it, slime-ball.

Have a nice day, Arabella.

Eat it, toe-jam.

Monkey vomit!

And the dancing never stops

here at Madam Tong's.

Let's put our hands together,

and welcome to the stage...

Back again?

Yeah. Slumming.

Why don't you just go home

and leave me alone?

I'm tired of you following me.

I'm tired of you spying on me.

You know what you look like up there?

You look like a whore.

You bastard!

- Hey, hey, hey. That's enough now.

- Let go!

We got a problem here?

You're bothering my employees, pal.

Why don't you go home

and sleep it off, huh?

Up there, you look like a whore.

And your boyfriend here looks like a pimp.

- Sir, you observed the vehicle?

- What?

- You observed the vehicle?

- Yeah. It was a gray Oldsmobile.

Pretty new, maybe an '83 or an '84.

Oh, the license plate number.

It was 082 UCK.

What the hell are you guys doing here?

You're under arrest, smart guy.

Got a dozen witnesses saw you arguing

with your wife at Madam Tong's tonight.

And we got a witness saw you driving

away from the scene of the shooting.

Did it ever occur to you two

that someone's trying to frame me?

You know what I think?

I think your wife left you,

started dancing at a topless club,

showing off all her goodies to a bunch

of horny lowlifes, and you hated it.

And then, when you found out

she was making it with somebody else,

you killed them both.

Why don't you crawl back under your rock?

Come on, Jack.

Come on, let's face it. She was a slut.

Wasn't the first time you caught her

in bed with somebody else, right?

I mean, how many guys was it then? Two?

I'm surprised you didn't knock her off

right then and there.

Unless you enjoyed it.

Did you watch her doing it?

You know, Ed,

I've been wondering something about you

for a long time.

Why is it you never married?

Never even saw you with a girl.

Is it because you're so ugly,

or because you have bad breath?

Of course, a lot of guys have bad breath,

but they also have girls.

Maybe you don't like girls, huh?

And maybe that's why you two boys

spend so much time together.

Well, what do you know?

Ballistics identified

your gun as the murder weapon.

You're going to jail, Jack.

And you know what happens

to a cop in jail? Hmm?

You're dead meat, pal. Dead meat.

Your arraignment is set for tomorrow.

Now, the DA will probably go

for second degree.

But, on the other hand,

since you'd been drinking,

I think we can make a case

for diminished capacity.

Say you plead guilty

to voluntary manslaughter,

we're talking maybe eight years.

Which means you should be out

in three to four.

Did it ever cross your mind

that I'm innocent?

Frankly, no.

Sit down.

Must be your lucky day.

Well,

if it isn't Sergeant Dick-Brain.

I heard they arrested a cop.

What did you do, rape a nun?

Listen, you're gonna have a great time in

San Quentin, 'cause they just love cops.

So how do you like lockup?

Find yourself a girlfriend yet, hmm?

Kiss my squirrel.

Come on, admit it.

You're a dyke, right?

Hey, go jump a flagpole.

You know, I'm a cop.

I know everything that happens up there

in women's detention.

Maybe the first time, they have to hold

you down, but then you get to like it.

Oh, kiss my pantyhose, sperm bank.

I'll bet your girlfriend does that,

and you love it, don't you?

You f***ing bastard!

- Hey, you two, knock it off over here!

- Bastard!

- Come on, break it up!

- F*ggot!

Break it up! Come on, break it up.

- What the hell are you doing?

- Shut up, do what I tell you.

Get the keys out of the door.

Quick. Come on.

You! Don't make a sound.

Don't make a sound, or I'll kill her.

Drop your gun and keys on the floor.

Quick!

Come on, come on, hurry it!

Get in that cell.

Hurry it. Hurry it.

Lock it.

Come on, come on.

Help! Escaped prisoner!

Help!

This is crazy, man.

You're gonna get us both killed.

You're never gonna get out of here,

you know.

Not by the front door, I won't.

The elevator.

We got escaped prisoners in the elevator.

They're on their way down.

Why don't you just

put that gun down?

I mean, you know,

you seem like a decent enough guy.

Maybe you're just having an off day.

Besides, you don't want to kill me. I'm

actually a very nice person. I really am.

I know we got off on the wrong foot

with me stealing your car,

but that was just a mistake.

By the way, did anyone ever tell you

you've got excellent taste in cars?

Don't you ever shut up?

Why don't you go screw yourself, mutant?

Why don't you watch your mouth?

Why don't you watch your a**hole,

a**hole?

What's the hell is the matter

with you guys up there?

You all asleep or what?

Can't even keep a guy in lockup?

What's going on?

It's your pal Murphy.

He's got a gun, he's got a hostage.

Sh*t.

They must've gotten off on another floor.

Let's go.

That's it, I quit! I'm tired of you

pushing me around, booger bits.

If you're gonna...

You can make this hard,

or you can make it easy.

Now which is it gonna be?

Okay.

- I don't hear you.

- Okay.

You were saying?

I said okay,

you snot-sucking garbage dump.

A helicopter? Are you crazy?

I was a crew chief on one of these

during the war.

What the hell does that mean?

It means I can fly one of these things,

a little.

Close that door.

When was the last time you flew

one of these things?

Oh, my God.

Hi, I need to see your clearance.

This is my clearance.

Back off. Back off.

Murphy!

Put it down and get out!

Come on! Drop it!

Hold your fire, damn it!

Oh, Murphy, you f***ing idiot.

I don't like heights.

I don't like planes.

I don't like flying.

And I especially don't like helicopters.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

On second thought, maybe not.

- Can we take that one up?

- Uh, it's got engine trouble.

Get a hold of the Coast Guard.

I want another chopper, like, yesterday.

Hey, Airwolf,

where the hell are we going?

Oh, my God, what is it?

Damn, we're out of fuel.

What do you mean, "we're out of fuel"?

We can't be out of fuel.

Oh, my God, we're out of fuel!

Oh, my God.

I don't want to die.

I don't want to die.

I... I don't want to die. I don't wanna...

Hang on, now. Hang on.

I don't want to die.

I don't want to die.

Hey!

We've already landed.

Where are we?

On a barn.

A barn?

I don't believe this is happening to me.

You know what this is?

I'll tell you what this is, man.

This is the worst day of my life.

And you know why?

Why, because of you, barf-bag!

Hey, pubic hair, I'm talking to you!

I think we'd better get away from this

place before somebody spots this chopper.

Uh, no way, Jos.

Uh, I'm staying right here.

As long as we got these,

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