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My Baby's Daddy
Now, Peter Piper
picked peppers
But Run rocked rhymes
Humpty Dumpty fell down
That's his hard time
Jack Be Nimble was nimble,
and he was quick
But Jam Master cut faster,
Jack's on Jay's dick
Now, Little Bo Peep
cold lost her sheep
And Rip Van Winkle
fell the hell asleep
And Alice chillin' somewhere
in Wonderland
Jack's servin' Jill,
bucket in his hand
And Jam Master Jay's
making out our sound
The turntables might wobble
but they don't fall down
For as long as I can remember,
the three of us
have always been best friends.
Even when we were babies,
me, Lonnie, and Dom shared
the same crib.
both did their thing
But Jam Master's gettin'
loose and D.M. C. 's the king
We were tight, like brothers.
But we all had our own dreams.
G, let me down.
Lonnie dreamed of two things.
Mmm.
First was that Rolonda loved
him as much as he loved her.
Huh?
But all she loved
was his money.
He also wanted to be
a big inventor.
My boy Dom.
He just loved the music.
As for me, well, I was built
to be a professional athlete.
Yeah, I was gonna be
the best bo xer
to come out of South Philly
since Rocky.
I was gonna be
the Black Stallion!
Dag, this burns!
Oxygen.
Hyah!
Sometimes my cousin Randall
would chill with us.
He had a thing
for candyjacking.
I want it chilly up in here!
You now on Cha Ching's
most-wanted list.
That's why we called him
"No Good. "
We went from boys to men
together.
And the three of us moved into
Lonnie's Uncle Virgil's house.
It was just temporary until
You have a ride home, XiXi?
Yes, Father.
Don't be late.
Yes, Father.
Give your father kiss.
Bye, Father.
Look. We can go
in Uncle Virgil's room.
He got one of them
orthopedic beds.
Guess who.
- Alvena?
- No.
Mm.
Hold up. Ooh.
Ooh! Rashida.
Oh, no, no.
This is Laquida.
Unh-unh-unh!
This is Tamika.
You got one more chance
to get it.
Or you won't be making it
to your next fight.
Hey, baby.
I knew it was you.
I was just having fun.
Sorry I'm late.
Had to get a ride
from my father.
Does your pops know
you came to see me?
Yes.
Come on, baby.
You know that's not cool.
Forget about my father.
I love you.
That's what matters.
Happy birthday to you
Hey, Lonnie!
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Lonnie
Happy birthday to you
Make a wish, Lon.
I wish Rolonda was here.
Ho-londa!
Get out the way!
- Big Swoll in the house.
- You got your wish.
Can I get her
for my birthday, too?
Happy birthday, boyfriend.
Rolonda.
Don't stop.
I was beginning to think
that you weren't gonna show.
You know Ro-Ro wouldn't miss
her Lonnie's birthday party.
I knew you wouldn't let me down.
This right here is my cousin
Big Swoll.
He just got out
the penitentiary.
Hey, Big Swoll.
It's good to meet
a member of the family.
Yeah, I'm all right, Johnny.
Happy birthday, man.
You know, Rolonda,
I was thinking that...
Ooh! Cake.
That's what I want.
Some cake.
I haven't eaten
in two whole hours.
And for some reason,
I just can't stop eating.
Ooh.
There it is.
Nia.
You looked so busy
at work today.
I'm surprised to see you here.
The studio was
really busy today.
How could I miss
one of your famous parties?
Yeah, and you're wearing
that top that I love so much.
That's 'cause I want you
to take it off.
Just a second, baby.
Go, Daddy, go.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
That's cute.
Oh!
Mmm! Ooh!
I'm here now.
I'm here.
Oh.
You know, I...
I have these feelings.
I want to take care
of you, Rolonda.
And I was thinking we could get
our own place
and maybe get married someday.
Damn, Lonnie.
That's real sweet, baby.
N*gger ain't never said no sh*t
like that before.
So you think maybe we could...
Oh. 10:
30, boo.You know what that mean.
What?
My show is on.
Hey, now, my show is on
Ooh, ooh, my show is on
Up next, "Compton 90221."
My show is on, too.
Compton 90221
We can't be cleaning up
like this.
We gotta hire ourselves a maid.
What are you complaining about?
I'm the one on my hands
and knees.
I thought that was
your favorite position.
Good morning, guys.
- Hey.
Hey.
What's wrong, man?
What's wrong, Lon?
I'm a year older, and I'm
still here with you two guys
at my Uncle Virgil's house.
You know what you sound like
right now, man?
Nah. What?
A b*tch.
Yeah.
Seriously, Lonnie.
You don't want to mess around
with a good thing.
I mean, take a look around you.
We got the tight bachelor pad.
I mean, this is it.
We made it, man.
Right there, dawg.
Mm!
Ta-dow!
You better clean this damn mess
up before you leave.
I know that.
Whip some ass up in here.
This is it?
Getting yelled at
like schoolchildren?
I mean, I thought I'd be
further along in my life by now.
You know, have my own family.
My own place.
One of these days
you guys are gonna grow up.
You 12 minutes late.
I dock paycheck.
Look, Cha Ching, I know we got
friction between us
on account that I took
And Bit-O-Honey. Milky Way.
Black licorice.
And case of Coors.
What's "ricorrish"?
Licorice.
Licorice!
Don't play language game
with me.
You now 14 minutes late.
Good talk.
Dang Ling, I can't understand
a damn word your daddy say.
Great first half, kids.
You missed five calls,
you four-eyed punk.
Rolonda! Peaches!
What are you doing here?
We need to talk.
I'm all ears.
Mama dear is gonna go wait
over there.
Remember that time
we was watching "Compton 90221"
and Swapmisha had told Dante
that she was pregnant?
Point is, Swapmisha wasn't
the only one got knocked up.
- You mean I'm gonna be a daddy?
- It's yours.
Just forget it, Lonnie.
'Cause I can't take care
of no baby on my income alone.
Daddy also has a job
at the Sanitation Department.
And I just got a job yesterday
at Piggy Smalls' Pizzeria.
You know my Uncle Virgil
raised me right, girl.
And I want to do the same
for our child, Ro-Ro.
I'm gonna take care
of the both of you.
You so good to me, Lonnie.
Don't want to give me that, huh?
Come on.
Come on.
G, we need to talk.
Are you busy?
What it look like, baby?
Is everything okay?
G, I'm pregnant.
We're going to have a baby.
Hey, Dominic.
Your next appointment is here.
Send them in.
Yo, Dommie Dom.
It's the Brothas Stylz.
- This is you?
- Oh, hell, yeah.
- Yo, you gots to put us on.
- True.
All right.
Yo, we might be wizzle.
But our lyzzles be
clizzle blizzle.
You feel me, dawg?
Words.
Okay.
Go ahead and spit.
Whatever.
Someone should tell them
they're white.
Oh, hey, Nia.
What's up?
What? I thought I had
the studio till 12:00.
No, no.
It's not that.
Hold up.
Listen. I...
What?
What is it?
Calm down, Dom.
You look whiter than usual.
So, Dom, she gonna have it?
Yeah.
She's gonna have it at home.
- What kind of sh*t is that?
- I don't know.
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"My Baby's Daddy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/my_baby's_daddy_14294>.
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