My Baby's Daddy Page #3
No.
It'll give you gas.
Here.
There you go.
I'm gonna help her.
I'll get her a book.
On breast-feeding.
But she gotta share
with your daddy.
Oh!
Surprise.
I was just gonna start
on some tracks.
She's got hair.
Yeah. She also breathes.
She giggles.
She's your daughter, Dominic.
Not that anyone would ever know
from your behavior.
What behavior?
Me and the Brothas Stylz are
prepping for their big debut.
Get off me.
Don't touch me.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, listen.
I'm in a pinch,
and I need a big favor.
What?
I'll see you later.
Bye.
See?
It's just you and me, kid.
Me and Jas.
All right. All right.
Come on.
This ain't so bad, right?
No.
Piece of cake.
Hey, Dom,
I ain't picking mine up.
You pick yours up.
You two acting like
it's the first time
you've been alone
with your kids.
- It is!
- It is!
- How do we make them stop?
- Oh, come on.
Okay.
All right.
Come on.
Come on, Bruce Leroy.
Come on, big man.
It's okay.
I think they hungry.
Cool. I'm gonna roll
and get some Mickey D's.
Formula, G.
Formula.
They drink formula.
Right, right, right.
My bad, Mr. Mom.
We got that
in the fridge, right?
Yeah, yeah.
In the kitchen.
No, no.
I got it. I got it.
And lay off my lasagna, G.
- One for you.
- Thank you.
One for you.
Okay.
Hey.
This ain't my baby's bottle.
What are you talking about?
Yo, hold up. That's Nia's
breast milk in that bottle.
It's like your boy's sucking
on my lady's titty.
Got a point there.
You're getting soft on me, man.
Oh!
They like the titty on tap.
Look at Bruce Leroy. He got
an appetite like his daddy.
Look at him getting his grub on.
I think it's time to burp 'em.
Okay.
Let's bump 'em, then.
- Burp?
- How we do that?
You just put 'em
over your shoulder.
Yeah. Right like that.
Pat 'em on their back.
Like this?
Oh, okay.
All right.
Yeah, yeah.
Aw, hell.
My Sean Johns!
You got the "Exorcist" baby.
Hey, that's what babies do.
They burp.
Spit.
And sh*t! Ugh!
Aw, damn.
It's that titty milk.
I bet it is.
Look at it.
Aw!
It's green sh*t!
I'm a lean, mean
diapering machine.
Whoo!
Whoo, that's funky.
Dang, Bruce Leroy.
When did you eat some corn, man?
Aah! Aah!
He peed on me!
He peed on me, Lonnie!
Oh, God!
It's burning!
Ow!
Oh, I can't see!
I can't see, Lonnie!
I want my mama.
That's all right, Bruce Leroy.
Daddy gonna get you cleaned up.
We're just gonna get the poop
out your hair.
Oh, man, you got soft hair.
You got hair like your mama.
Mm-hmm.
When you get older, all the
little black girls are gonna be,
"Oh, Bruce Leroy,
you got good hair.
You got Indian in your family?"
And the little Chinese girls
are gonna be,
"Oh, Bruce Leroy, me so horny.
Me love you long time. "
'Cause everybody love
Bruce Leroy.
Wa-yah!
Here's the lotion, G.
- And the baby powder.
- Oh, okay.
See, your uncles understand
a soft, sensitive bottom.
Now, who watching
y'all babies, huh?
Jesus.
Thought you almost got me
with that one, didn't you?
That was a good one.
Ow. Mnh.
Okay.
I'm throwing in the towel.
I give up.
Wait a minute.
I got an idea.
Rockin' with my baby
Baby, baby
Rockin' with my baby
Baby, baby
Rockin' with my baby
Baby, baby
Rockin' with my baby
Hickory dickory dock!
The mouse ran up the clock!
The mouse went down!
Hickory dickory dock!
Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
That ends the rhyming portion
of the Mommy & Me class.
And now it's time
for the bonding portion
of the Mommy & Me class.
We've got some really pretty,
shiny books.
your son.
I can't blame her.
He's almost as cute
as you are, Lonnie.
You know my name?
It's on your tag.
I'm Brandy.
Hi.
Brandy.
Now let's play
the bragging game.
This is where
we each take a turn.
And you tell us something
special about your child.
Brandy, let's start with you.
Well, Cherie has a smile
that lights up the room.
Just like her mom.
Ooh.
Nice to see your domesticated
ass was able to break away
from the ball and chain tonight.
Fool, please.
I'm a grown-ass man.
I pay taxes.
Sometimes.
Hey, hey.
I run me.
She don't run me.
I'm the president.
She the secretary of state.
Remember that.
Hey, hey. Yo, yo.
Drive By's here.
How'd you get Drive By
to come up in here, man?
His rappers keep getting
locked up.
He's looking for new talent.
The Brothas Stylz are gonna be
his next platinum artists.
The white boys?
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Yizzo.
Our bad. We smashed up lizzle
in this pizniece.
Can I get some?
- Yeah. Whatever.
- All right, then.
Ooh.
Double dip.
He's signing that sh*t?
Hold up.
Hold up.
Ain't that Ho-londa?
She's supposed to be having
dinner with Lonnie tonight.
All right.
It's time to put some crackers
up in this soup.
Comin' straight from the street.
I mean the cul-de-sacs.
Put your hands together
for the Brothas Stylz.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
What's up, people?
Brothas Stylz in the hizzy!
- Hit it!
- Hit it!
No
We don't mess around
round here
Hell, no
We don't mess around
round here
- "If you pull one trigger"
- "Then you'll pull the other"
- "You think we one figure"
- "Hell, no, fool, we brothas"
And all the girls love us
And haters,
they want to mug us
It's hard to beat
the Brothas
And suckers,
they can't touch it
Our double barrel's
right in our reach
We want the girls
with coconuts
And an ass like a peach
Here the homies run through
your crew like a track meet
Pistol-whip your ass
till I see the white meat
It's ugly
You don't wanna
come round here
'Cause round here you'll
fool around and disappear
Mess around and get stuck
down here
Lose track of the tears
Double-knotted
in the closet for years
- "Rolling Hannibal style"
- "Brain of a child"
- "Mind of a killer"
- "Thriller"
For we ain't nothin' like
vanilla
No
We don't mess around
round here
Hell, no
We don't mess around
round here
So, all our gangstas,
hustlers, hoochies, jump up
Busters, haters, snitches,
get out
Double barrel
blows your sh*t out
'Cause Brothas Stylz
just put a hit out
Yeah!
Yeah!
That's what I'm talkin' about!
Yeah.
That's what I'm talkin' about.
Right!
All right.
All right.
I'm telling you.
These guys are the bomb.
This is the future of hip-hop
right here.
You gotta trust me on this.
They got 12 tracks recorded.
They're all hot.
Don't sleep on this, Drive By.
I don't usually sign
white rappers.
But for y'all,
I might make an exception.
Y'all come by my office.
Dismissed.
Thank you.
Get out of here!
- We're going.
- That's cool.
Yo, Lon, what's wrong, man?
Man, I can't believe
Rolonda left me hanging.
I'm starting to think
she's not the woman for me.
No!
You know, it's about time, Lon.
like a sucker.
Yeah.
Seriously, Lonnie.
You gotta get with the program
like me.
I don't think you're getting it.
I like spending time
0 fans
Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"My Baby's Daddy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/my_baby's_daddy_14294>.
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