My Baby's Daddy Page #6

You look just like

Patti LaBelle.

Without the big hair, though.

When she was with the LaBelles.

Yeah, okay.

All right, now!

Freeze!

I want it chilly up in here!

Sir? We don't have

much money in the till.

You're welcome to it.

But I would recommend that

you rob a convenience store.

Did I ask you for money?

No, I did not.

Now, give me some

of them snot suckers.

Some of them rattles.

Some ass thermometers.

Pronto.

Yeah. Yeah.

Y'all got some baby grub

up in here?

Is the baby teething?

Oh, and don't forget

the rubber nipples.

Yeah.

And the booties

for the baby's feet.

And cotton swabs.

Cotton swabs.

That reminds me.

Is the baby still on formula?

You should really start

going for organic.

Organic.

Right, right, right, right.

What the hell "organic" mean?

It means it's grown naturally

without any harmful pesticides

that might poison your baby.

What?

You trying to poison my kid?

No!

I want everything organic

up in this b*tch!

Right now!

I don't want nobody to move

for two minutes.

That's 150 seconds.

That didn't sound right.

Hoo-hoo!

Open the trunk.

Man, don't tell me

you just robbed the store!

Open the trunk, dawg.

What the hell did you do, fool?

They was robbin' us.

Just 'cause it's overpriced

don't mean you steal it.

Why you trippin'?

I did this for you, dawg.

What?

You the one got a baby

to handle.

Oh, I'm trippin'?

'Cause I ain't your

accomplice no more?

What? You got a baby now

so you don't work no more?

Oh, so robbin' is work now?

Yeah.

Man, they runnin' my plates.

Get in the car, man!

You like hanging out

with your Uncle No Good.

Take some of those right there.

That's what's up.

Yeah, this is kind of good.

Mmm, I can see how you eat

this stuff right here, brother.

You know what?

Me and your daddy got you

all kinds of good stuff today.

Got it for free, too,

if you know what I'm sayin'.

With a toy gun.

Made a clean getaway.

You know why?

You know why?

'Cause crime does pay.

Yes, it does.

Hey, baby.

What?

What's up, dawg?

Baby, what's the problem?

You mad?

Are you stupid?

What are you talking about?

Robbing baby stores?

Baby, that was No Good.

Tell that to your son when

your dumb ass ends up in jail!

Baby, I told you...

"Baby!"

Ow!

Damn!

- Sh*t!

God.

Yeah.

It'll be okay.

Okay?

G, just look at it

as a chance to grow.

To get in touch with yourself.

Look, man, I'm tired

of touching myself.

I want my lady to touch me.

I want XiXi to touch me.

Where you goin', sexy?

Big meeting today, fellas.

Gonna have a huge payday.

And maybe who knows, you know?

Get a place of my own.

Jas could have a backyard.

Her own room.

Man, you know what

you sound like?

What?

A b*tch?

No.

A man.

All right.

I'll talk to you later.

You kind of dress like

a b*tch, though.

Drive By, you so crazy.

So, when did you guys

become such good friends?

This is gonna be hard.

This is gonna be real hard.

It's gonna be hard for

the Stylz Brothas to say...

You ain't gonna be the

Brothas Stylz's manager no more.

That wasn't that hard.

No, no, no.

Very easy, dawg.

Let's go.

You're dismissed, b*tch.

Dismizzle, bizzle.

I'm all right!

- Dang Ling, where's XiXi?

- She don't want to see your ass.

Cha Ching, where's XiXi?

G, we need to talk.

Outside.

You get that black eye boxing?

Nope.

From your daughter.

Yeah, she got a left hook

like her mother.

I don't smoke cigarettes.

Take a closer look, fool.

Special smoke.

Cure a chronic ailment.

Even a broken heart.

Hmm.

Damn, man.

All this time, I thought

you was uptight and sh*t.

You remind me of myself

when I was your age.

The Triads.

I was the leader

of the Far East Side Riders.

I dreamt of being

the Chinese Scarface.

Hey.

Say hello to my little friend.

Hey.

What happened?

Met XiXi's moms up at the club.

Got gander at junk in the trunk.

She made you turn

your life around.

Not before reality b*tch-slapped

me in the face first.

Gangster Gung Ho

got cap busted in ass.

Pour a little out

for homies ain't here.

Yeah.

After that,

all I could think about

was giving my daughter and

my baby's mama a better life.

Any regrets?

One.

I didn't do it sooner.

Dominic.

Hi.

- Oh. I wasn't expecting you.

- Yeah, I know.

I just wanted to see

if we could talk maybe.

Well, this really

isn't the best...

Dominic.

What's she doing here?

You caught us at a bad time.

We just got out of the bath.

"We"?

Maybe we should talk.

Are you trying to tell me

you're a...

Let's be real.

Jasmine needs

a full-time parent.

For when she's sick.

For when she can't sleep.

You know you can't

be counted on for that.

No, that's not true.

That's what I wanted to

talk to you about.

We have to do

what's best for Jasmine.

And you think her having

two mommies is what's best?

Yes.

Venus and I are in love.

She's with Jasmine

every single day.

You're more into

the Stylz Brothas

than you are into being a dad.

Oooooh

Yeah

La la la la la

We're not living

without sacrifice

Sacrifice

Sometimes blessings,

they come in disguise

Ooh-ooh-ooh

Every valley has a mountain

Every shore, a sea

Every life, a reason

What was meant to be

And that's the way it goes

Brandy.

Ba ba ba ba ba

Brandy.

And that's the way it goes

Da da di yi yi

Advice for life

You only get one chance

to make it right

Live wrong

and pay the price

Be strong and sacrifice

Respect life

and think twice

My God-given rights,

God gave me the light

So I'm gonna shine bright

Despite the negativity

in human life

Life, unh, yo

I'm too blessed

to be stressed

Up against all odds

that manifest in the flesh

Yo, lovin' my life,

life, I'm livin' it

You love the way it sound

and the way that I deliver it

Love life

and keep it innocent

Live and let live,

life's experience

I know you're mad at me.

Hell, if I was you,

I'd be mad at me, too.

But if you give me

a chance to explain.

I am sorry.

Brandy.

Carver.

I am sorry.

Wake your sorry asses up!

I ain't gonna say this

but one time.

So you damn well better hear me.

Now, Lonnie.

Don't get caught up in this

"baby's mama" drama.

Now, you had you

a good woman in Brandy.

She a good woman.

She likes you.

And that baby likes you, too.

You need to be a man.

You need to go ahead

and pick your hair out

and get rid of them damn

deep-sea-diving goggles

and handle your business.

And you.

Rerun.

Huh?

Yeah, you.

You got a good woman, too.

But you're too damn lazy.

All you want to do is

lay up on your ass all day.

And you ain't no fighter.

Hell, I'll knock your dick

in the dirt, old as I am.

Yeah, you need to put

your family first.

Put your family first.

And, Dom, you ain't no player.

Now, Uncle Virgil was a player.

You hear me?

I was slammin' more Cadillac

doors and pimpin' more ho's

while you were still swimming

around in your daddy's nut sac.

And you got a good woman, too.

But no, you mad 'cause she done

got herself another woman.

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