My Best Friend's Wedding Page #20

STONER KID:

(Minnie Mouse)

YES, SIR!

A Nazi salute. When she turns back...

MICHAEL:

I asked you...

JULIANNE:

She admits it's her fault.

He absorbs that. And then...

MICHAEL:

Do you think she still loves

me?

We watch the struggle inside her. Her voice drops...

JULIANNE:

Sure, she does. She's crazy

about you.

Now tears stand in both their eyes. The stoners are doing their

Alvin and the Chipmuks impersonation festival in the B.G., singing

in castrato harmony. But our two don't notice.

MICHAEL:

I keep asking, how can I explain

what happened? And I keep

getting that same answer all

night long.

Which is...

MICHAEL:

I can't. And it doesn't matter.

I drove her to it, because I

want things my way. And even

if she did something tricky and

unfair... she was blinded by

love, okay?

Julianne swallows. For obvious reasons.

JULIANNE:

Does that make it right...

MICHAEL:

Love doesn't have to be right.

It just has to be love.

The stoner are now helium-crooning "Bridge Over Troubled Waters."

Actually, they're getting better.

MICHAEL:

She's giving up half her life

for me, and I'm bitching because

it hurts her.

STONERS:

(singing)

Sail on silver girl

Sail on by...

MICHAEL:

She's a saint! And I'm a

worthless ingrate!

STONERS:

(singing)

Your time has come to shine,

All your dreams are on their way...

MICHAEL:

Tell her. I'll marry her at six

o'clock, if she'll still have me.

The stoners blend on the high note. It's pretty moving.

JULIANNE:

I'll be right back.

INT. ORGAN LOFT - DAY

PAN along a gigantic serpentine stack of wedding presents. Nearly

twelve feet high, the pile curves along the balcony, high above the

diners in the Great Room, extending al the way to...

... an organ loft. Alone, above the noise of the party, Julianne

and Kimmy have just reached the top of the staircase. Trapped

between ten tons of lavish gifts and the keyboard of the mammoth

organ. Dwarfed by their surroundings, Kimmy draws the hardest

breath of her life...

KIMMY:

(whispers)

So. What did he say?

Julianne's eyes move over the young girl's face.

JULIANNE:

He said. Marry me.

Kimmy YELPS in her ecstasy, FLINGING herself against Julianne, and

they go DOWN full length across the organ's pedals, BLASTING the

room with a MONSTER CHORD of china-rattling volume and horrifying

disharmony.

As grown men and women SCREAM in spontaneous terror below, Kimmy

begins to...

... LAUGH. And KISS and hug her new sister. And holds her tight.

EXT. WILLOW POND - DAY

Julianne and Michael walk the gravel path beside a breathtaking

POND, ringed with WILLOWS that dig heavy branches to the water's

surface. He is relieved, reflective. Head down, he never notices

that she is...

... dangerously freaked. Too petrified even to hyperventilate,

we're lucky she's breathing at all. We watch her life unraveling

before her glassy eyes.

MICHAEL:

(never looks up)

Thank God you were here.

JULIANNE:

(mumbles to herself)

Oh, yeah.

MICHAEL:

I was so confused, so conflicted,

so... unstable.

JULIANNE:

Well, it happens.

They pass an expanse of lawn which has become the event parking

area. Family vehicles, delivery trucks, service vans. Everything

that couldn't fit on the circular front driveway.

MICHAEL:

I might have thrown away...

Searching for the right words.

JULIANNE:

... your one chance for true

happiness?

MICHAEL:

... yeah, that.

JULIANNE:

You never want to do that, see,

that's always a... costly

turnover. As they say in the

sport biz.

There's a vague Stepford Wife quality to her voice. He hears that

now, and looks at her. Maybe he can't tell she's frightened. But

he can tell she's something.

MICHAEL:

(softly)

Are you okay?

She stops walking. She can't look at him, so she looks around.

Across the lawn crews are moving equipment into the brightly-

colored tents, unfolding and setting up stacks of tables and

chairs, raising the poles between which all those balloons will be

strung. At the center of it all...

.... a huge topiary White Sox batter, just completing a murderous

swing. He's maybe fifteen feet tall. She points to it...

JULIANNE:

The Big Hurt, huh?

MICHAEL:

Nellie Fox. Walter likes the

past. And he likes the little

guys.

So Julianne nods. Because she does too. Squints up at Michael.

JULIANNE:

Got a minute?

He nods, you bet. Worried for her. What is this? She looks in

another direction, and we now see that we have nearly reached...

... a stage that's been set up for the band. Chairs, music stands,

sound equipment. A gleaming dance floor, already in place over the

lawn. Next to it, a shimmering white GAZEBO. Like the centerpiece

of a wedding cake.

JULIANNE:

Why is the dance floor by the

gazebo?

She takes his hand. They walk toward it.

MICHAEL:

Kimmy's idea. She thought it

would be such a romantic place.

For our wedding dance.

Looking down at her.

MICHAEL:

What's up?

JULIANNE:

Shhh.

Up the white steps now. Together. The gazebo floor has been

covered with hardwood. The perfect place. For a wedding dance.

And Julianne...

... turns, suddenly. He almost runs into her. She is staring up

at him, so strangely, their bodies only inches apart. He is caught,

transfixed by the intensity in her eyes.

JULIANNE:

I have to say this quick, okay,

or I'll have this massive

coronary and you'll never have

to hear it. Which you need to.

Does that make any sense at all?

The coronary part does. We can feel her heart beating from here.

MICHAEL:

Jules, what's wrong...

JULIANNE:

This is the dumbest thing I will

ever do. So dumb, in fact, that

I can't. I don't think.

And then, she does. She puts her hands flat on his chest. Looks

in his eyes.

JULIANNE:

Michael, I love you.

A heartbeat passes.

JULIANNE:

I've loved you for nine years,

but I was too arrogant and

scared to realize it. Now I'm

just scared.

He stares at her, dumbstruck. She moves even closer.

JULIANNE:

I know this comes at an

inopportune time, but I have to

ask this one really gigantic

favor, okay?

Holds her breath. And...

JULIANNE:

Choose me. Marry me. Let me

make you happy.

And in a half beat of excruciating silence...

JULIANNE:

I know. It sounds like three

favors.

His eyes are loving. They care for her. She swallows, lost in

them.

JULIANNE:

But when you think about it...

Slides her arms around his neck, and raises her mouth...

... to his. The most beautiful kiss she will ever offer. All of

her heart is in this, and as his hands touch her body...

... a SCREAM rips the world to pieces. They whirl to see...

... KIMMY, halfway up the path. Her hands across her mouth, as if

to stem the horror that pours forth as she SHRIEKS from her soul,

and...

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