My Boss's Daughter Page #2

I sometimes wonder if anyone here

even knows what they're doing,

I can understand how you

could see it that way, sir, but,,,

So you don't think I was out of line?

Well, if what you're saying

is that a company

is only as strong as its weakest link,

that makes sense, but,,,

Exactly, That's exactly right,

A company is only as strong

as its weakest link,

- Yeah,,,

- Audrey, get in here!

You were right, Tom,

I was too soft on her,

- What? No,

- Yeah?

Audrey, after talking it over

with Tom here,

I've come to realize that

I'm gonna have to let you go,

- You're firing me?!

- I'm sorry, It's just not working out,

- But, sir, I was suggesting,,,

- I take my job very seriously,

A chain is only as strong

as its weakest link,

- Right, but there's a whole other side,

- Thanks for the support,

Audrey, empty out your desk

by the end of the day,

- Fine,

- Sir, this,,, I,,,

Thanks for straightening me

out there, Tom,

Right, right, But I didn't get to say

what I wanted to say,

Oh, your ideas, of course, Schedule

an appointment with my new secretary,

Tom, Are you OK?

Uh,,, yeah, sure,

I'm guessing by the way

you look he's on another one

of his rampages this morning,

- Definitely,

- Damn,

I was hoping to catch him

in a good mood,

Yeah, that's, um,,,

that's probably not gonna happen,

I'm supposed to go to this party tonight,

but my dad's making me housesit

for his stupid bird while

he's away this weekend,

Well, why don't you go in there

and tell him you're not gonna do it?

I can't just,,,

You can't just what? I mean, live your

own life and have a free weekend?

No, it's not that,

- Wait, it is that,

- Yeah,

- I should just go to that party,

- Yeah, of course,

Well, um,,, OK, I'm gonna

go back to, uh, work,

OK, sure,

Tom? I know this might seem

a little out of place

because we barely

even know each other,

But, do you have any plans tonight?

(mouths)) No, no, no,

- Uh,,, no, I'm-I'm wide open,

- We won't be home too late,

Hey, it's no problem,

So the party starts at 7,

You could be at my dad's house by 6?

- Sure,

- You sure you're cool with this?

- Are you kidding me?

- Tom, you're such a sweetheart,

Thank you so much,

I'm gonna love you forever for this,

- All right, Yeah, who's the man now?

- See? What'd I tell you?

(chuckles)) I'm a lady-killer,

How the hell could he be

so excited about housesitting?

He's nice, Daddy, That's how,

Most guys wouldn't even offer to do that,

I don't know if I want him

around my bird,

Oh, Dad, will you just relax?

It's gonna be fine, I promise, OK?

I'll check in as soon as I get there, 8:00,

If I sense anything's wrong,

you're coming back here,

OK, OK,

(. Light rock)

Very good, Right on time,

Oh, sir, Uh,,, Hey, is that a bear trap?

Yes, It's to keep the neighbor's kids

out of my yard,

Sir, I just wanted to let you know

how much I appreciate you,,,

well,,, letting tonight happen,

I mean, I know it means a lot to Lisa,

and I think you're doing the right thing,

I don't know what

you're planning, Stansfield,

but you're attitude

is making me very nervous,

- Those socks are clean, right?

- Um,,,

- You hesitated, Put those on,

- Are you serious?

If you want to watch TV,

the remote's there,

That panel controls the lights,

alarm, skylight, etc,

Yeah, I probably won't

use any of that stuff,

- You know, since the party starts at 7,

- Party?

I made it clear to Lisa you're not

to have any guests in here,

You're the only one

allowed in the house,

- What? Lisa's not here?

- No, Of course not,

Lisa's at the party,,,

and I'm staying here,

Is this concept too complicated

for you, Stansfield?

Don't touch the furniture,

And this is my bird's room,

(chuckles)) He's got his own room?

That's cool,

- (gasps))

- How's my little boy?

- This is OJ,

- OJ? Like the murderer?

No, Like the football player,

OJ Simpson,

I've set the alarm,

When you hear it go off, feed him,

- (mice squeaking))

- Aw, What do I feed these little guys?

They don't get fed, They are the food,

His diet varies, but they're his favorites,

Hey, don't you have to shut these doors?

Not anymore, He's been depressed

since his mate died,

He won't fly, Just sits in his cage,

Medication, Give him two

of these at 10:
00,

I have to shove these down his throat?

Just one, The other is inserted

into his rectum,

Don't worry, It's not

too unpleasant for him,

- He doesn't bite, does he?

- No, Not unless you taunt him,

You're not planning on taunting him,

are you, Tom?

- No,

- I mean, that'd be really sick,

No, of course not,

And the most important thing,

make sure he gets a pint of water,

The medication tends to dry him out

and then he can't breathe,

- OK,

- Well, I must be off,

- Henderson should be waiting outside,

- Henderson? I thought you fired him,

Because his ideas were stupid?

Of course not,

He's gonna drive me to the train station,

So, you can leave as soon

as Lisa and Hans get back,

- Hans?

- Lisa's boyfriend,

So remember, uh,,, water in the bowl,

medication, and,,,

anything happens to this house

while I'm gone, I'll kill you,

(door shuts))

(Paul over phone)) You're housesitting?

You gotta be kidding me.

(Tom)) I know, it sucks,

What are you talking about?

Don't you see? This is a test.

You watch Taylor's house,

come up with a couple of great ideas

and if everything goes smooth,

you get the promotion.

- You think so?

- Of course I do. What could be easier?

(crackles))

(. "Not What I Wanted" by Evan Olson))

(Lisa giggling)) What are you

doing, Hans? Come here.

Baby, you're gonna burn so bad if you

don't let me put this on you right now.

Oh, my God. You scared me, Hans.

You're insane. Put that down.

Want to put some on me?

Put some lotion on me.

- Is Jack around?

- Hey,,, what? Who are you?

It's OK, I'm Red Taylor, I'm Jack's son,

I let myself in the back,

- Oh, Hey, Tom Stansfield,

- Hey,

Tom, nice to meet you,

Am I interrupting something here?

Oh, no, Uh,,, I was,,, uh,,,

Oh, your shoes,

Nike, Uh, listen, Tom, can you

do me a favor? I lost my TV Guide.

I came over here to see if maybe

my dad's got a copy of one,

You haven't seen a copy of

the guide laying around, have you?

- My sister in?

- No, actually she's out for the evening,

- Bingo, (chuckles))

- Oh,

So, uh, you're here to,,,

- Housesit,

- Oh,

Yeah, it's probably for the best if you

don't, uh, tell Lisa that I stopped by,

- Why? Is there a problem?

- Well, you know how uptight she is,

- Really?

- I'm more the free spirit of the family,

Oh, Oh, boy, See that right there?

- Kirstie Alley?

- Yeah, I dated her maid,

- Really?

- I boned Kirstie Alley's maid,

And this is while they were

making Look Who's Talking,

Wow, that's really something,

I'll tell you another thing,

You know Michelle Pfeiffer?

Yeah,

I did the deed

with Michelle Pfeiffer's cousin,

- Wow,

- Right out there in those bushes,

- Right,

- Ah, she looked just like Michelle, too,

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