My Boss's Daughter Page #4

Synopsis: When a young man agrees to housesit for his boss, he thinks it'll be the perfect opportunity to get close to the woman he desperately has a crush on - his boss's daughter. But he doesn't plan on the long line of other houseguests that try to keep him from his mission. And he also has to deal with the daughter's older brother, who's on the run from local drug dealers.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): David Zucker
Production: Miramax Films
  4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.7
Rotten Tomatoes:
8%
PG-13
Year:
2003
86 min
Website
186 Views


- Then it don't count,

- Says who?

Says anyone, Ask the Jew,

All right, that's it,

You two have got to leave,

All right, that's fine,

But she is not coming with me,

You are not welcome in the double ride,

Fine, I don't care, I don't need your lousy

trailer, I'll stay right here with Tom,

- Fine, Stay with Tom,

- I'll stay right here,

Wait a minute, Whoa, Guys, you need

to try to work this thing out,

- He hit me! He knocked me on my can!

- I know, I know,

Well, but it was with

an open hand after all, and,,,

Relationships have their

ups and downs, you guys,

and you don't want to ruin this great,,,

(yelping))

Oh, God, The bird, OJ!

Oh, my God,

(continues yelping))

- (squeals))

- Oh,

You come back here or Tom's

gonna kick your butt! So take that!

(revs engine)) Ooh, I'm shaking

in my boots, baby!

Look at those two, OJ,

(phone ringing))

(Spike)) Oh, I ain't

running away, dummy!

- Hello?

- (Lisa)) Hi, Tom. How are ya?

- Hey, Lisa, I'm great, I'm great,

- (squawks))

- Is that OJ?

- Yeah, yeah.

- We just had a little drink of water,

- I haven't heard him squawk in years,

Oh, yeah,

He's quite the crazy bird, you know,

Yeah. Anyway, Tom,

I just wanted you to know

how much I appreciate

you helping me out tonight.

But I'd like to crash at a friend's place

tonight after the party,

Would you think it was horrible if I asked

you to stay the whole night tonight?

Oh, well,,, I-I don't think your dad

would want me staying here,

- Please?

- Yeah, I suppose I could stay,

Thanks, Tom. I really appreciate it.

See you tomorrow. (hangs up))

(Audrey)) I ain't afraid of you and Tom

sure as hell ain't scared neither!

Butthead! Loser!

(tires screeching))

Oh, my God, Thank God he's gone,

Hey, so is it OK if I stay here tonight?

Oh, man, it's,,, it's not even my house,

Oh, yeah,

OK, Well, I sure as hell

don't want any charity,

I mean, it's not like you

owe me anything, so,,,

And I'm sorry about

that whole office thing,

I know that you didn't mean

to get me fired,

- Yeah, You didn't deserve to get fired,

- Thanks,

OK,

Well, I guess I'll just go try

to find a homeless shelter then,

- Wait a second,

- Yeah?

(sighs)) God,

- Look, I suppose you can stay,

- Really? Oh! Thanks, Tom,

You're the best, Oh, and I'll

clean up the kitchen, OK?

- OK,

- OK, OK,

- (doorbell)

- (knocking))

(Tom)) Yeah, One second,

- (knocking))

- There's somebody at the door,

Hi, Uh, can I help you?

Vasquez sent me here

to pick up a package,

Oh, you're the,,, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

Red told me you might be stopping by,

Uh,,, Oh, hi, I'm Tom,

What is this, Oprah?

Just give me the goddamn package,

Oh, OK, Yeah, Um,,,

I think this is it,

If this ain't kosher,

I'm gonna break his thumbs,

Oh, well, by law, it should be stamped

right on the package there,

- (. Classical)

- What,,,

(squawks))

- Oh, Dinnertime, buddy,

- (. Classical continues))

OJ,,, today's specials include

a scrumptious buffet of mice kebabs,

- (squawks))

- (gasps)) Aah! Sh*t! Ah,,, crap!

You son of a b*tch,

- (squeaks))

- Ha,

(grunts))

- (chuckles)) I got you now, buddy,

- (squealing))

(gasps)) Aah!

Aah! (groans))

(squawks))

- Dude, that was cool,

- Oh, my God,

- Tommy, easy on the antiques,

- (squawking))

- Was that an owl?

- Yes, OJ got out, How is he flying?

- Well, he is a bird,

- He,,, no, Jack said that he,,,

Aw, sh*t! I gotta find him,

Don't worry, He'll probably

come back when he's hungry,

No, I have to find him or I'm gonna

lose my job! You know what?

This isn't gonna help your chances

of getting your job back either,

OK,

- Where the hell is he?

- Tom, relax,

- Relax? OJ's loose!

- (gasping% screaming))

- This is no time to relax!

- Tom! He's right over here!

- Right there, right there, right there!

- OJ!

- Right there!

- OJ!

Stop! No, no, Stop, Stop,

OJ, OJ,,,

Get up, What the hell you doing

on my property? Planning to rob me?

No, I-I was just looking for,,,

Yeah, yeah, I see what you're looking

for, You got a thing for young girls, eh?

No,

Then why do you keep

eyeing my wife, you perv?

Your,,, no, I wasn't looking, I,,,

Arthur, are you gonna be back soon?

I need you to spot me,

Just give me a minute, honey,

- Oh,,, Please don't kill me,

- I'm not gonna kill you, OK,

If you let me live, I'll give you my

most valued possession, Here, take it,

You know what that is, don't you?

- Evander Holyfield's ear,

- What?

The part of the ear that

Mike Tyson bit off and spit out,

- But it's white,

- So?

- So, shouldn't it be black?

- Well, if it's still on his head, sure,

But anybody knows that a

severed ear loses its color,

- No,

- Sheryl?

- Yeah?

- What happens to an ear

- if it's severed from your head?

- It changes color, Duh,

- (thud)

- (Sheryl) Ow! Damn!

- (Audrey)) Tina, give me a beer,

- (man laughs))

- (Tina)) Oops,

- (man)) You have got to be kidding me,

- (Audrey)) Try another one,

- (Tina)) Come on, you guys!

- (clatter)

- (Tina)) Party!

- Come on, let's go!

- Audrey,,,

- What the hell is going on in here?

- Heads up,

Who are these people?

I invited some friends over

to help us look for the owl,

And Darryl even fixed

the table in the hall,

- Thank you,

- He won't even know it was broken,

- (bottle breaks))

- (man)) Air ball,

We'll get that later,

Everyone, this is Tom,

- Yo, Tom,

- Hi, guys,

You guys, Tom's a real good guy

and his nuts are gonna just,,,

Audrey, could you,,,

- What?

- Listen, I appreciate all your help,

But could you make sure that your

friends stay out of the house?

- All of them or just the colored guy?

- No, all of them,

Ooh, that's smart, That way the

colored guy won't take it personal,

- I have nothing against,,, Look,

- What?

I am responsible for this house

and I can't have all of these

people hanging around,

OK, all right, I got it,

You guys, let's move it out,

- Aw, I was just getting started,

- Good idea,

Thanks, guys, That's great,

- (Tina)) What about the cake?

- Don't worry, they're all good people,

They're not gonna steal nothing

or drink too much like the Indians,

Look,,, just make sure they stay outside,

- OK?

- OK,

(door opens% shuts))

- Lisa?

- Hi, Tom,

Uh, you're home? Why are you home?

It's not worth going into,

I got in a huge fight with Hans,

Oh, So,,, it's over?

It's my own fault for dating

a guy my dad likes,

Really?

Yeah, he's one of his top marketing

execs, You know, Harvard Law,

Comes from a good family, top

of the tennis letter at the country club,

- Tom, can I talk to you for a second?

- Audrey?

Yeah, She came to, uh, talk to your dad,

OK, I'm gonna go in my room,

You could stay if you want,

OK,

- Tom?

- Audrey, I'll be right there, OK?

OK,

- Or you could go,

- You know, maybe we could talk,,,

,,, later,

Here, How about this one?

- What's going on?

- We found the owl!

- Where is he?

- Uh, well, he got away,

- Where'd he go?

- He hopped somewhere in the bushes,

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David Dorfman

For the screenwriter, see David S Dorfman, and for the choreographer, see David Dorfman (choreographer)David Dorfman (born February 7, 1993) is an American actor. He portrayed Aidan Keller in the 2002 horror film remake The Ring, and its 2005 sequel The Ring Two. His other film roles include Sammy in Panic, Joey in Bounce, and Jedidiah Hewitt in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. He has also portrayed the character "Charles Wallace Murry" in the film version of A Wrinkle in Time. In 2008, Dorfman appeared in the film Drillbit Taylor. He has been cast alongside Thomas Haden Church in Zombie Roadkill. more…

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