My Boss's Daughter Page #7

What?

First of all, I don't wanna

wear these booties anymore,

- No one else is wearing the booties,

- Fine,

- What's the other thing?

- Tina thinks she's got cancer,

- Do you feel it?

- Uh, I'm just,,,

- What's supposed to be there? I don't,,,

- See, Tina?

Move your hand to the left,

Now move it around,

Uh-huh,

- Don't you feel anything?

- Yeah, I mean, no, no,

No, it seems to be,,, Well,,,

Tina, your breast is no

different than mine, OK?

- It is, There's no comparison,

- Tom, feel my breast and compare,

Now, do you detect any difference

between our breasts?

- Well,,, You gotta slow down a little,

- It sure feels good,

- Well, yours is a,,,

- (door opens))

- Lisa, this isn't what it looks like,

- I believed everything you said,

I'm,,,

It was all just a bunch of lines, wasn't it?

No, no, Lisa, it was all,,,

I swear to you, I meant every word,

This is,,, nothing's going on here,

Great, Tom, I'm glad you think

I'm a complete idiot,

No, no, I'm telling you, I was just

checking these girls for breast cancer,

- You make me sick,

- No,,, Lisa, wait!

- She's never gonna forgive me,

- Of course she will,

Is this the first time you cheated on her?

Yeah, No! I,,, yeah,,, wait,

I didn't cheat on her, I mean,

you were there for God's sakes!

Look, I know that

you didn't cheat on her,

- I mean, you were a little grabby, but,,,

- I,,,

Look, don't you think

we should just find the owl

and worry about your little "affair" later?

I,,, I am get,,, I'm getting angry

and I don't get angry,

- Ugh!

- Hey, Speed?

Hey, can I ask you a question?

- What are you,,, I thought you left,

- I did,,, to get this,

- All right, Why is the fire going?

- Cozy, isn't it?

- All right, You put that down,

- Make me,

All right,

Hey! Hey! Put the crowbar down!

Or I will blow your ass to fucktown!

That's right,

- Don't you ever threaten me,

- But,,, I got a gun,

- What are you doing?

- Well, Tommy, we both have guns,

Only difference is, you don't

have the guts to use yours,

Oh, yeah?

Well, what makes you so sure?

Oh, I'm sure,

(trickling))

Oh! Oh,,, Jesus! What the,,,

What are you, out of your mind?

- (phone ringing))

- Stop that! Are you crazy, man?!

(chimes))

- Hello?

- (Taylor) Stansfield. Anything to report?

Sir! Uh, everything's great,

I got,,, everything's under control,

- Did OJ get enough water?

- (TJ)) Whoa!

Uh, OJ,,, What? Oh, yes,

Uh, Jack, could you hold on?

I'm gonna shoot your pecker off,

I don't plan on being away

the entire weekend.

- I hate you! I hate you!

- It's possible I may be

coming home early, so make sure

that everything's in order.

Jesus!

Oh, something I forgot to tell you.

- Sir?

- The fishtank. It's a little low.

- I'm taking care of that right now,

- Good.

When I get back, I want to talk to you

about that position in Creative.

- Aah!

- Don't get excited yet.

I didn't say you had the job.

We'll discuss it.

Uh, thank you, sir, Uh, great, Bye,

Holy sh*t!

I just,,,

Boy, I'm tapped out,

You got anything to drink?

In the kitchen, Thanks,

Dammit!

Whoa! What the hay happened in here?

Tom, did you have a little accident?

You might wanna try a few Kegels,

Kinda tighten it up down there,

- That's it!

- I'm doing 'em right now, And release,

Well, when in Rome,,,

- (trickling))

- . Oh, Canada

"Jack Taylor, Rectacid,

Apply liberally to buttocks as needed

to reduce redness

and other symptoms of folliculitis,"

Son of a b*tch,

- Did you piss yourself?

- No, I did not piss myself,

- Looks like you did,

- Well, I didn't,

It was that maniac downstairs,

We gotta stop him before

he tears this house apart,

You know what you gotta do?

Give him one of these little babies,

- What's that?

- It's a sleeping pill,

I got 'em from Speed, Here,

So strong, so be careful,

- It's powerful stuff,

- Here, Just one,

Be careful,

Hey, Excuse me,

You know, I just wanted to apologize

for pulling that gun on you earlier,

That was totally out of line,

Hey, you know, I don't

even know your name,

- I'm TJ,

- TJ? That's nice,

I guess maybe I was out of line

by pissing all over everything,

Man,,, that was funny, (laughs))

Yeah, I've always enjoyed a good prank,

What are you drinking there?

Whiskey, You want some?

There's plenty of booze

around here, that's for sure,

Yeah, I'll take a shot of bourbon,

- Oh, my God! Wow!

- What?

Whoa! Look at those

two blondes going at,,,

- Oh, wait, are there three of them?

- Where?

They're going at it right up there

on the second floor,

- Where are you looking?

- Right th,,, uh,,, Oh, man, they left,

(chuckles))

Damn, I was all psyched up

for some action,

Lesbians are very special,

Oh,,, Hey, I'll drink to that, huh?

- Cheers,

- All right,

Mmm,

- (grunts))

- Oh, are you,,,

- Whoa,

- Here, Why don't I,,,

- (glass breaks))

- Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa,

(steps on glass))

- Whoa,

- (gong))

- Audrey?

- (babbling))

Audrey!

(gasps)) Oh, my God!

He's like a human vibrator,

What,,, All right,

what is wrong with him?

- I don't know, Did you slip him the pill?

- Yes,

Then that must be it then,

You didn't give him the pill

with whiskey, did you?

- Yeah,

- Oh, no!

- You're not supposed to mix the two,

- Audrey, you did not tell me that!

Everyone knows that you're not

supposed to mix booze with pills!

- Come on!

- OK, Is he gonna be OK?

Don't worry, He'll be fine,

I used to be a paramedic,

- Tom? I think I found OJ,

- OJ? I don't care about,,,

We have a situation here,

Audrey, call 911!

- I'm telling ya, he'll be fine,

- Are you sure?

- He just needs some rest, I'm positive,

- OK, You watch TJ, Use this,

It's not loaded, but he doesn't know that,

- (doorbell)

- Oh, man!

- Oh, hey,

- Julie,

- From,,, yeah,

- Down the block, That's right,

You mind if I come in?

(Audrey)) All right, You grab his ankles,,,

Why don't we go

to that room over there?

- (Speed) OK, yeah, I got this end,

- (Audrey)) Man, he's heavy,

Do you mind if I sit down?

- Uh,,, yeah, Sure,

- Thank you,

Oh, hey, Sorry to butt in, Hi, I'm Red,

- Hi, it's nice to meet you,

- Nice to meet ya,

Anyway, I realized you were telling

the truth when my real date showed up,

- Of course he didn't stick around,

- Well, that guy is a bum,

Well, I'm sure that had

nothing to do with you,

No, I know it did,

I've never had any guys attracted to me,

even before the accident,

Now that cannot be true,

Well,,, about six months ago,

I was hitchhiking

and a trucker tried to rape me,

but other than that,,,

Come on, You're gonna tell me,

you never had a real boyfriend?

Well, once, but I think

he just felt sorry for me,

Oh, well, uh,,, how long did that last?

Um,,, about six years

and then one day, he just left,

- Another woman?

- No, He got hit by a bus,

(Red) Well, see that's not your fault,

Well, he didn't seem to try

very hard to avoid the bus,

I think he just wanted

out of the relationship,

Julie, why don't you sit in this chair?

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