My Week With Marilyn

When love goes wrong

Nothing goes right

This one thing I know

When love goes wrong

A man takes ight

And women get uppity-oh

We're having a heat wave

A tropical heat wave

The temperature's rising

It isn't surprising

You certainly can

I started this heat wave

By letting my seat wave

And in such a way that

The customers say that

I certainly can

Can-can

We're having a heat wave

A tropical heat wave

The way that I move

that thermometer proves

That I certainly can

Can

Everyone remembers

their first job.

This is the story of mine.

I was the youngest

in a family of overachievers.

My father was a world-famous

art historian,

and my brother was ahead

of me in everything.

I was always the disappointment.

I found my solace in the small cinema

I went to every Thursday night.

Alfred Hitchcock. Orson Welles.

Laurence Olivier.

These were my heroes.

I wanted to be a pan'

of their world.

When I was 23, I got my chance.

Colin, come in.

Have you met James and Anna,

- my two very brilliant pupils?

- Hello.

- I'm off to London now, Pa.

- Your silly job interview.

Well, bonne chance, dear boy.

I can always get you

a research position at the V&A

once you've grown up a bit and got this

film idea out of your system.

- So I'm off now, Ma.

- Off?

- My job interview, Mother.

- Oh! Can't you stay for dinner?

There's nothing to eat, but I'm sure

the conversation will be charming.

I don't want to be late in the morning.

I'm sure they won't mind. You'll be

a famous film director in no time.

I had everything to prove to my

family, but more to prove to myself.

Like every young man,

I had to make my own way.

- So I decided to leave home

and join the circus.

- What do you want?

- A job on your next film.

You're an actor, aren't you?

No, I want to work

on the production side.

We don't start shooting

for another eight weeks.

- Come back nearer the time.

- May I wait until there's a job?

Vanessa!

- Good night.

- Good night, sir.

There are no jobs.

I'll come back tomorrow

morning just in case.

It's a free country.

- Good morning.

- You're very determined.

Well, I'd do anything

to be in the film business.

- Anything?

Sir Laurence Olivier Productions.

No, I'm afraid he's at Notley

till the end of the week.

- Vanessa asked me to...

- Oh, did she?

I need a number for Noel Coward.

It won't be in the book.

Hello, Vivien.

- Hello.

- Sir Laurence.

- Hughie!

Simply impossible to get Marilyn Monroe

on the telephone.

The darling girl spends

the entire day asleep.

- Hello, boy. Remind me.

- Darling, you remember Colin.

- You met him at the Clark's party.

- Of course. What are you doing here?

You said there might be a job

on your film.

Have a cigarette.

Keep the pack.

Thank you, sir.

There won't be a film unless Miss Monroe

gets her splendid posterior out of bed.

The house committee is threatening

to withhold Miller's passport.

They say he's a communist.

No Arthur, no Marilyn.

I'll have a word with

the American ambassador.

I'm taking him to see Vivien's play on

Thursday. Terry's rewrites, are they in?

Not all of them, of course.

When did that ever happen?

He's the first actor since du Maurier

to have his own brand.

They pay him an absolute fortune.

I'm afraid they're rather ghastly.

- Isn't he gorgeous, Vanessa?

I suppose he's all right.

Darling, you must do something for

Colin. You absolutely promised.

Hughie, let's try to

find him something to do.

- Yes. Of course.

- Come on, darling.

You'll look after my precious

Larrykins, won't you?

Come on, darling.

- Christ.

Do you like it?

That's

absolutely splendid.

- You were absolutely born for it.

- Door.

- Sorry.

And could you turn

all the way around, my darling?

- Thank you.

- This is the dress Larry likes.

- There?

- The camera's ravishing you.

Oh, dear.

That sounds serious.

That's wonderful.

- Too much?

Oh, God. Not for me.

- Arthur Jacobs,

Miss Monroe's publicist,

is flying in tomorrow.

He wants to see the house

where she'll be staying.

Find something suitable.

- Yes, sir.

- More importantly,

- how does it make you feel?

- And leave the bloody tea.

- Oh. Sorry.

Out of the question. I can't have

a lot of awful film people traveling

- through the house in dirty boots.

- But we'd be paying

a hundred pounds per week

for 18 weeks.

- My wife would never agree.

- That's a pity, Mr. Cotes-Preedy.

I'll have to tell Miss Monroe

to look elsewhere, then.

- Marilyn Monroe?

- Yes.

Suppose I'd have to be introduced.

Good morning, Mr. Jacobs.

Hope you had a pleasant flight.

Is this the f***ing car?

Who built this place?

Hansel and Gretel?

It's one of the best houses

in the area.

All right. We'll take it.

But ditch the wallpaper.

It's giving me a migraine.

That house was perfect for Marilyn.

- Can't use it now.

- Yes, we can.

I knew that Cotes-Preedy

wouldn't be able to keep this quiet,

so that's why when you asked me

to find a house for Miss Monroe,

I took the precaution of finding two.

So the other one, Parkside,

is much better.

And the owner is very discreet.

So we've got two expensive houses now

where we only needed one.

I thought that someone else

on the production might want it.

Oh, did you?

I guess Milton could use it

and it's near the studio. Near Marilyn.

What are we paying you, boy?

- Nothing, sir.

- Let's see to it, Hughie.

Well done, boy.

Nice job, kid.

Colin Clark,

Laurence Olivier Productions.

The film was then

called The Sleeping Prince.

Marilyn was to play a naive American

showgirl called Elsie Marina

who is seduced by an Eastern-European

prince played by Olivier.

It was the lightest of comedies.

- You in the union?

- No.

Then you can't have a job on the film.

Well, how do I get into the union?

By getting a job on the film.

It's called a closed shop.

I suppose I might be able

to do something for you.

The union owe me a few favors.

We don't have a third yet.

- A third?

- Third assistant director.

- You do know what the job is?

- Assisting the director?

That's the last thing you do!

thirds job is to

do whatever the f*** I tell him.

- And what are you waiting for?

Colin!

don't sh*t

on your own doorstep.

- Got it?

- Got it.

The third always stays nearby.

Not in some bloody palace in London.

Book a room at

The Dog & Duck down the road.

It's a bit rough. You'll get used to it.

Now make yourself useful.

Marilyn needs a bodyguard.

- Sort something out.

I'm sure you understand the sensitive

nature of the job, Superintendent.

Something about looking

after a cinema actress?

Well, not just any actress.

Marilyn Monroe.

I never had much time

for the pictures.

Excellent.

For the next four months,

you never leave her side.

Day or night.

Her behavior is reputedly

a little erratic.

- She drinks?

- Amongst other things.

- Pills?

- It would be useful if you could, uh,

keep us informed of

her domestic situation.

You want me to spy on her.

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