Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List Page #6

Fighting with ely

is so exhausting.

It is against the co-op board

rules to nap on the lobby sofa.

Ugh, co-op board,

shmo-op board.

Come on, please,

just let me sleep out here.

Mmm.

What kind of trouble

Did you get yourself

into last night?

My backup friend robin and I...

What is that, backup friend?

She's in my psych class,

and we got all dressed up

To try and get into this party

with these awful girls.

Ugh, you would have hated them.

And the rest is kind of...

Blurry from there.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

When is the room

gonna stop spinning?

You'll feel better

in the morning.

Actually, no, that's not true.

You're gonna feel worse.

- What?

- Yeah, you'll feel better in the afternoon, though.

- Okay, good.

- Actually, I don't know that for sure, though.

You can't even

be honest with me!

I'm not a doctor.

I'm a doorman.

Listen, I know you think

all this crap with ely

Is like the worst thing

that ever happened.

But there's a lot more out there

for you than you realize.

If you're ready for it.

By the way, um,

what was your favorite song?

The mix tape.

Did you like it?

That was you.

Oh, I hoped it was you.

All right, okay,

get out of here, come on.

Good night, Gabriel.

- Good night.

- You know what?

You're not a bad face

to see first thing.

Good night.

What are you doing here?

Checking my mail.

I told you not to do this.

No, Naomi, see,

you didn't tell me anything.

Telling requires

actual vocal contact.

What you did is you wrote a list

and said I shouldn't do this.

Come on, Naomi,

this is so silly.

Yeah.

It's a sh*t storm of giggles.

You know what?

No, look, look, look...

No, you look!

You blew it!

You totally blew it!

You had me... you really had me...

Buying into this whole

cult of ely you created.

My god,

stop lying to yourself, Naomi.

You never cared about Bruce.

You just like the attention.

I'll plead guilty if I have to,

but I don't feel guilty.

That's right, ely,

'cause life's a musical, right?

You're the star of the show,

the life of the party.

God forbid you should

actually feel anything

Or realize that

there are consequences

To your shittiest actions!

You know what?

You're exactly like my dad.

No, Naomi.

I am nothing like your dad.

I can't help the fact

that you can't handle change.

It's not always gonna

be the same forever, Naomi.

It's not always

gonna be you and me.

That doesn't change the way

that I feel about you.

Please, ely, that is so cheap.

Grow up, Naomi!

If you can't start

facing reality,

You might as well crawl into bed

and pull the covers up tight

Because you know what?

You are on the express train to

becoming exactly like your mom.

You're no good for me, ely.

I am tattooing you at the top

of my no-kiss list.

I should have always

been tattooed

At the top of your

no-kiss list, Naomi.

God, give me a break.

I'll give you a break.

A clean one.

Let's just do this

once and for all.

Yaffa cafe, Sunday, be there.

Did you not get my...

my texts?

You're so passive-aggressive now

that you won't even answer me.

Not gonna talk to me?

Naomi:
If I say now

what I really feel,

Naomi and ely really never

will be Naomi and ely again.

Let's get this over with.

This is your sh*t.

Your turn.

Don't take back the belt.

That's the red glitter belt.

Hmm?

If I keep it...

If you offer it...

Why don't you keep that?

...Then maybe there's hope.

You know, why don't you...

why don't you just keep it all?

You can...

you can have all of it.

You really have nothing to say?

I miss you, ely.

I just, uh...

I don't wanna believe

That you would give this...

All up over a guy.

Man:

I'd talk to you

if you weren't proud

and I'd run to you

if you weren't running away

we are perfect in the past

tomorrow crashed in

oh-so fast

our forever couldn't last

or did you change...

Morning, baby.

Mom, it's 4:
00 pm.

I got you a latte.

We're still $200 short.

So they won't put

the electricity back on.

I really need to talk to you.

Dad, where are you?!

Hey.

Is everything all right in here?

Yo, dude.

You're bleeding.

Hand.

So what are you doing here?

Escape the residents.

Sometimes I, uh, sneak a smoke.

Okay, okay.

That's the best I can do.

You're really sweet,

you know that?

No, I'm not that sweet.

You are to me.

- I don't think this is...

- no, it's okay.

If ely doesn't believe

in the no-kiss list,

- Neither do I.

- Naomi, you're upset.

And I think this is

one of these things...

Don't tell me.

Doorman's code of conduct?

No, it's the gentleman's

code of conduct.

Maybe we should have, like,

dinner and a movie?

You really are a crappy doorman.

We'll get there.

Woman:
I can see through the

smoke on the side of the road

what it could have been

lost and scattered,

in pieces

swear that I swore no more

of this collision course

but then I go again

lost and scattered,

in pieces

wrecked the promises

and torn all the past

heart's so broken,

I can't help but laugh

but I can't turn

away from this

so I crash and burn

into your kiss

but I flip that switch

and go for it

'cause life's

a roadside...

Oh! Oh, my god!

Aah! Oh! Oh, my god!

So I crash and burn

into your kiss

but I flip that switch

and go for it...

"hedonist."

A person who sins.

No. It's a person

who pursues pleasure.

That's the same thing.

That's the same thing.

A person who pursues pleasure

is a sinner.

Why would they also be pursuing

pleasure if not to sin?

- I get the point.

- "capricious."

- Capricious means...

- so long, capricious.

"Capricious" means

picking up sh*t, conveniently.

I'm never gonna know

the meaning of that word now.

Aah

ooh

maybe I should

walk to the top

'cause I can see through the

smoke on the side of the road

what never could have been

ohh

I can't turn away from this

so I crash and burn

into your kiss...

I lost my train of thought

because I did that amazing kick.

Did you see that?

With the little towel?

Oh, Naomi

Naomi, you're so fine

just like summer wine

Naomi

Nao... Mi

Busted.

Busted what, though?

I'm tuning a guitar.

Is that what you were doing?

Yeah, I don't play the guitar.

I'm not a songwriter.

That's weird,

I thought I heard my name.

- No.

- Being sung. By you.

- Don't think so.

- That didn't happen?

Little red riding hood

with your basket,

What's in there?

Well, I made a feast.

Wanna partake?

I have a better idea.

What are we doing?

Something

you've never done before.

Woman on pa:

Brooklyn-bound F.

47th st,

Rockefeller center next.

Stand clear of the doors.

Man:
I shot

straight as an arrow...

Oh, my god, what planet is that?

Naomi:

This is amazing.

And this is a park.

It's like

in the middle of Manhattan.

- Is it, like, central?

- Central?

- Yes, it is, it's central.

- Wow!

- Why would I hate it?

- I don't know.

Maybe you've been to a million

castles, I don't know.

I actually have never been

to a castle in my life.

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