New Year's Eve Page #6

Okay, so I'll meet you there?

You should come with me.

- We should both go.

- Oh...

Lady with a baby coming through.

Taxi! Pregnant! Taxi!

Okay. Want me to help?

Honey, I spent my whole life

living in New York City.

I think I know how to get a taxicab.

- Yeah.

- No! No!

Hah. Good job, homeboy.

All right. Plan B. Hold this.

- Oh!

Be here now.

Taxi!

You're doing great, honey.

- You're doing great.

- Oh!

Can't we pedal faster?

- Hey, buddy, can you go a little faster?

- This is my faster.

Haven't you been here all day?

- When do you go home?

- Just before midnight.

Ah.

You know what, I don't care about

all that hoopla and stuff anyway.

So no big plans? A party or...?

Nope.

No hot date? Pretty girl like you.

Well...

...maybe.

But right now you're my hot date.

- Why?

- Pardon me?

Why would you wanna be nice to me?

I'm an ass.

I spent my entire whole life being an ass.

And I don't know how to stop.

Well, you know what, Stan?

Maybe being an ass is the reason you've

gotten every single thing you ever wanted.

Not everything.

I'm sorry I called you a groupie.

We're stuck in an elevator together.

You're not gonna talk to me at all?

Fine. We can talk.

But as long as we're making

assumptions about each other...

...why don't I give it a shot?

You grew up in suburban

fill-in-the-blank.

You went to la-di-da liberal-arts school.

You didn't have enough drive

to get a real job...

...and then you grew half a beard...

...and moved to Manhattan

on your grandmother's inheritance.

And now you think that just because you

moved somewhere that makes you cool...

...but the truth is,

is that it doesn't. Okay?

Because you're just some wannabe

hipster who judges everything...

...because you're too scared

to take a chance on anything.

And, you know, my guess is that

this whole hatred for New Year's...

...comes from some

boring-as-hell prom queen...

...who broke your heart on New Year's Eve

in high school. So, what, am I close?

Suburban Maryland.

Tufts University.

And I am a comic-book artist.

You draw?

I illustrate.

And it was in college...

...when she broke it.

And this beard took me

like a year to grow.

Cold coffee?

Last year there were so many speeches,

I had to get outside.

So I actually went out and got a pizza. Heh.

Did anything else happen?

Oh, my. Something else did happen,

didn't it?

- Yes.

- Is it R-rated?

Dad.

- I met a woman...

- Oh.

...and she was extraordinary.

It's gonna have a goosebump ending.

Take your time telling it,

because here comes the traffic.

Extraordinary build, huh?

I have to get to this party.

Welcome to the Brooklyn Museum and

the Ahern party. Please pull right up, sir.

Put on 'em ball

When they sleep at the Macy's

Penny. Penny. Just quick one picture.

Right over here!

Tied over money like Seacrest

Put it on my life, baby

I can make you feel right, baby

- Excuse me

- Excuse me

But I might drink a little bit

More than I should tonight

And I might take you home with me

If! could tonight

You're an actress, right?

Yeah. I've played a nurse, a cop,

a teacher.

How about playing a waitress

and getting me a drink?

Go ahead. Scoot, scoot.

And now, your hostess...

...the president of Ahern Records,

Mrs. Rose Ahern.

Welcome to the Ahern Records

Masked Ball.

What better way to end this year,

both good and bad...

...than with the very, very best...

...and you all know exactly who

I'm talking about.

So I'll simply say that coming up

on this stage very soon...

...one of the hottest names

- Jensen!

I went to Juilliard...

...and I am a backup singer.

Not a back-of-the-tour-bus groupie.

- Randy, a.k.a. Mr. Moron.

- Heh.

- How long you been a backup singer?

- Too long.

Oh, I just got hired for tonight...

...but I was hoping that he would ask me

to go on tour with him. But...

You could sing something for me.

Oh, no. Ha-ha-ha. No.

The only time that I do performances for

audiences of one is when I'm in the shower.

- Well, you--

- Don't say anything.

Anxiety is now the prevailing mood

here at One Times Square.

The ball is still in a state of stuck.

--As officials await the arrival of

electrical whiz Lester Kominsky.

Oh, I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish.

I'm from Ohio.

- Your coffee.

- Thank you.

- The eagle has landed.

- Kominsky's here.

Make a hole, people. Move.

Kominsky.

I'm Claire Morgan.

Oh, no. Kominsky.

- Kominsky's here, yes.

- Yes.

Oh. Thank you so much for coming.

Yes, it's good.

- You fire me.

- No, no. No, that was someone else. No.

So, what do you think it is?

- Short.

- What's short?

A short in the ball.

You got it.

- Sounds pretty straightforward.

- Mm-hm.

Easy to fix.

- Then you fix.

- No.

Not so easy.

This ball has 3500 lighting clues.

Cues. He means cues.

You have to find the light

that went out in over 3000?

- Mm-hm.

- Wh--?

Have we not progressed past the Christmas

lights that go out if there's one bad one?

My question also and then I get fired,

so that's all.

Oh, wait. We need you.

I need you.

Okay. Then I go visit my ball

on the roof. And...

These TV peoples here?

- Yes.

- Oh.

Here.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Good. Thank you.

Please enjoy our New Year's Eve

entertainment...

...as we go to Ginger Adams and some

young revelers in the 54th Street pen.

Ginger.

This little boy is lost.

Go with the nice lady.

- What's your name?

- Scott. I can't find my mom.

Whoa! Who lost this kid?

I did, I did.

I'm coming, Mom.

- I got him.

- Take it easy.

- Be careful.

- Whoa, thattaboy.

Watch it!

Mom, look at me.

I got him. I got him.

Hey, is she here?

I haven't seen Piper's mom,

but I know she's around here somewhere.

- Who are you gonna kiss at midnight?

- You, baby.

I'm flattered, but I'm also spoken for.

We now go live to New Year's

headquarters for an update on the situation.

Hello, I'm Claire Morgan

of the Times Square Alliance...

...and, as you all can see...

...the ball has stopped halfway

to its perch.

It's suspended there to remind us...

...before we pop the champagne

and celebrate the new year...

...to stop...

...and reflect on the year

that has gone by.

To remember both our triumphs

and our missteps.

Our promises made and broken.

The times we opened ourselves up

to great adventures...

...or closed ourself down

for fear of getting hurt.

Because that's What New Year's

is all about.

Getting another chance.

A chance to forgive.

To do better, to do more,

to give more, to love more.

And to stop worrying about

"what if"...

...and start embracing what will be.

So when that ball drops at midnight...

...and it will drop...

...let's remember to be nice

to each other.

Kind to each other.

And not just tonight, but all year long.

Thank you.

I want to hear the rest of your story.

We talked for... It felt like hours.

- You boink her?

- Dad.

- You're talking to a man in a tuxedo.

- I can't talk like that in front of a lady.

- He's a gentleman.

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