New Year's Eve Page #8

- Hmm.

- I don't think so.

- Oh, come on!

We got to do something to get you

out of your New Year's Eve funk.

We're at a party.

Mm.

You're standing on one end of the room

alone, and I'm on the other.

- We've never met.

- Ooh.

And the countdown begins.

You start scanning the room

for cute girls...

...amongst the sea of couples.

- Cute girls.

- Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Finally, you see me.

- Our eyes meet.

- There you are.

We smile tentatively at each other.

- Six.

- Tentatively.

Then we start walking

towards each other.

Five.

Finally, we meet.

Four

Just as it's about to be midnight.

- Three.

- Three.

- Two.

- Two.

One.

Oh.

- Hey!

- Now you come.

Hmm.

See, I told you I'd have it fixed.

In just eight hours.

Phone's broken.

Hey, you didn't, uh, you know...

That's not why we put the bench in.

Oh, no, no. It's not like that.

Yeah, it's always like that.

- This was not like that.

- Oh, it's always like that.

- We just met on--

- All right. I'll check out the video.

Okay.

All right! Come on in.

- Looks like you still might make your gig.

- Yeah.

So Jensen's playing at Times Square?

Yeah. With or without me,

so I should really get going.

Okay.

- See you.

- Yeah. Happy New-- Uh...

I'll see you.

Uh...

Let me--

Sorry.

Hold the elevator.

Sorry. Let me just...

This gate is a b*tch.

- Mrs. Lifander, you've been working out.

- Thank you.

Hey, you forgot--!

Oh, this is amazing,

I can totally see him.

What?! He's coming out?

You can see him?

Okay, if you try to see, I can't see.

Look with your other eye!

Oh, hostility, that's good.

Yes, now we're getting somewhere.

I can't see the baby. I can see that couple

trying to steal our money.

Oh, this is great, babe.

So, look, if I do this, that means

they're having their baby.

I don't care about the money anymore.

- What?

- Hey, Griff?

Come here.

- You are disturbing her calm zone.

- You're disturbing my calm zone.

What? Uhn.

I need you to focus.

I'm just trying to squeeze a giant Escalade

out of a compact f***ing parking spot!

Nice.

Swearing helps sometimes.

But now we're gonna use our words, right?

- We're ready to go.

- Uh...

Bye, I love you.

- Time to take the children to the playroom.

- Come on, guys.

Next time I see you, you're gonna

have a baby sister. I love you.

- Bye, Mommy.

- Bye.

- A lobster?

- Yeah.

Dissolve.

Dissolve.

Assuage.

Very good. You are the channel.

I am the perfect channel.

- Perfect channel.

- Ooh...

Okay.

- Change the channel. Change it!

- Mm-hm.

Click, click, click.

- Watch it.

- What happened to the steps there? Hey.

It's been a real treat getting to know you

and the family. Grandpa Jed.

Very cool, very horny.

You got a chance to see how

the other half lives, huh?

You make the other half look good.

Ah. You seem to have a pretty fun life.

It has its moments.

- Remember, follow your heart.

- All right, I will. I'll see you.

- You have to let me in!

- I'm sorry.

You need a pass to get back there.

I'm practically related to him.

We're both from Jersey.

- Is this the 54th Street pen?

- 56th. 54th is that way.

- You have to let me in.

- Without a pass, I can't.

- Hailey's coming.

- Yeah.

We're getting closer, folks.

Hope you're staying warm.

This is it. This is as close to

the ball dropping as I can get you.

Hey, good luck with that last one,

all right?

No.

- I figured that was a long shot.

- A long shot? What are you talking about?

Going to Bali? That was a long shot.

Let's get this out of here, okay?

Man, I don't even know whose

this is, bro. I'm just saying.

Thanks.

Make a list of your own.

Don't wait as long as I did.

Pow, pow, shwing.

Thank you. Mm.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

- Have a great time.

- You too. Happy New Year, Ingrid.

Whoo.

Any ideas who you might

want to kiss at midnight?

Oh.

- Hey, Laura!

- Ha-ha-ha.

- They're raving about the food out there.

- Great.

I hear this is a first for

the music industry.

- Sam's here.

- He is.

- Sam!

- Oh, hey, Alyssa.

- I'll get your favorite drink?

- Thank you.

Hey, Mom.

Sorry I'm late.

But I made it.

Thank you for wearing

your father's tuxedo.

- Perfect fit, huh?

- You look so handsome.

Hey there, iPod. How are you?

All your pretty little girls are here.

I'm starting to think I need more...

...than a pretty a girl with nothing

to say, you know?

Did maturity just walk into the room?

Well, maybe, maybe not.

You know what you're gonna say

to these people?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Coming up next on the main stage,

Ahern Records recording artist, Jensen!

- Where's Jensen?

- Still waiting on him.

But the president of the Times Square

Alliance would like a word.

- Mr. Buellerton's here?

- He's right here.

Mr. Buellerton. You wanted to see me?

Yes, Claire.

You spoke eloquently about the ball

getting stuck.

- You assuaged everyone's fears.

- Thank you.

- Except mine.

- Oh, of course.

Now, I like assuagion, but I don't

think you realize what's at stake.

Oh, I do, sir.

You're about to letdown

the city of New York...

...the country, the whole world,

unless you get that ball fixed.

With all due respect, sir, I've been watching

the ball drop since I was 5 years old...

...and it's one of my most favorite

family memories.

We'll-- We'll be sure to get this fixed.

"We'll"? "We'll"?

You remember the '86 Mets-Red Sox

World Series?

No.

Bill Buckner let a ground ball

go between his legs...

...and the Sox lost the game,

and eventually, the World Series.

Now, very few people remember

who was on the field that day...

...but everyone remembers

that Buckner missed the ball.

A baseball's a lot smaller than your ball,

which is not dropping.

Right. I'll be sure that I don't drop

the ball on the ball drop.

- Whatever you said. Anyway, fix it.

- I will.

Or you'll hear a speech about the new

vice president of the Times Square Alliance.

Okay. I'm not gonna let you down,

or the world. I promise, sir.

Um, okay, I'm gonna check on Kominsky.

You find Jensen.

Somebody get me Jensen!

- Hey, sorry I'm late.

- Okay. Who are you?

I'm Elise, one of Jensen's

backup singers.

Where's Jensen?

I don't know.

Go take the stage. That way, that way.

- Where is he?

- Still no rock star.

- Hey! 5B! Hi.

- Hey. Hi. Randy.

How'd you get in?

They think I'm Jensen's drummer.

Because I told them that.

Here. You left this on the elevator.

I didn't know if it was lucky or something.

And also it's a balance thing.

So if you dance while you're singing,

you'll need your balance.

Thanks.

You came all the way here to bring me

my rubber bracelet?

Sort of.

And to say happy New Year.

Happy New Year, Randy.

Oh, you also left something else

on the elevator.

Glad you remembered that.

Background singers report to stage.

I gotta go. Ha-ha.

Okay, well, go watch.

- For you, I will be your groupie.

- Thank you. Thank you.

Hey! Nice pajamas.

Background singers report to stage.

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