Niagara

---

Why should the Falls drag me

down here at 5 o'clock in the morning?

To show me how big they are

and how small I am?

To remind me they can

get along without any help?

All right, so they've proved it. But why not?

They've had 10,000 years

to get independent.

What's so wonderful about that?

I suppose I could, too,

only it might take a little more time.

Rose?

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

- What is your destination in Canada?

- Niagara Falls.

- What's the name of the place?

- The Rainbow Cabins.

- What is your name?

- Mr. and Mrs. Ray Cutler.

- And where do you live?

- Toledo, Ohio.

- Where were you born?

- Toledo.

- And where were you born?

- Seattle.

Are you bringing in anything

besides personal belongings?

No.

- How long do you plan to be here?

- Three days.

- Honeymooners?

- That's right.

That isn't liquor you have in that case, is it?

Uh, books. I'm going

to catch up on my reading.

Reading?

Fine thing.

I tell him we're on our honeymoon and

you drag out a copy of Winston Churchill.

He must think I'm pretty hot.

You should have told him

we're on a delayed honeymoon.

Delayed or not, we agreed to treat it

like a regular one, didn't we?

I'm game. It'll be just as good

as a regular honeymoon.

Well, it should be better.

I've got my union card now.

- Hi.

- Hi. We're the Cutlers.

- We wired for reservations.

- Oh, yeah.

Let's see now. The Cutlers, huh?

Room overlooking the Falls. Cabin B.

Look, honey. You can see it from here!

- The Falls are that way.

- He means the Shredded Wheat plant.

I work for 'em, but I'm seeing

the joint for the first time,

where breakfast food

became a national institution.

Why don't they have that down

in that book of yours?

- Say, has there been a call for me?

- A call? Nope.

I'd better phone over and tell 'em I'm here.

Have him show you the cabin, honey.

- There's a phone in my office.

- Oh, thank you.

Oh, it's a beautiful view.

- Cabin B is ours?

- The folks in there haven't checked out yet.

Then we can't move in.

Come on. I told them last night.

Hello? I wonder if I could

talk to Mr. Kettering, please.

Well, this is Ray Cutler

from the Toledo branch.

No, I'm not speaking from Toledo.

I'm here in Niagara.

Mr. Kettering wrote me to get

in touch with him when I arrived.

I'm the guy that won the cash prize for

the most imaginative sales campaign.

Are you there, Mrs. Loomis?

Shh.

Stop knocking. My husband's asleep.

What is it?

The new folks are here. You were

supposed to be out this morning.

Just a second.

I'm awfully sorry about the cabin, but

my husband hasn't been feeling too well.

Please don't make me move him.

He's finally fallen asleep.

- First good sleep he's had in over a week.

- Is he sick, Mrs. Loomis?

Well, he's not quite himself.

He just sits around and...

Last night he got up and wandered around

somewhere at 3 or 4 o'clock. I was frantic.

- Have you seen a doctor?

- Yes. Lately we've seen quite a few.

But I don't want to bore you.

- You're here to have a good time, Mrs...?

- Mrs. Cutler.

We had a good time, too, two years ago

when we were here on our honeymoon.

So I thought it would do him some good

after Letterman. It was a mistake.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Loomis,

but this cabin is promised.

That's all right. We'll take another cabin.

You don't care, honey?

We got here the wrong time all around.

No cabin, no Mr. Kettering.

- He won't be back till the first of the week.

- It doesn't make a bit of difference.

Thanks for being so nice.

I sure appreciate it.

And, Mr. Qua, I've got to run down

to the market while George is asleep.

- Would you keep an eye out for him?

- Of course.

Thank you. Thanks.

- It's up to you folks. Cabin K is vacant.

- Does it look down at the Falls?

It looks around at them,

but it gets plenty of sun.

OK. Let's go.

- I'll get the key.

- Thanks.

I'll do it, honey.

She said her husband

was in Letterman. What's that?

It's an army hospital, mostly psycho.

Oh.

Come on aboard.

Maid of the Mist,

the most famous boat in America.

Next tour starts in two minutes.

I'll have two, please.

Two, please.

Thank you.

- What size shoe?

- Ten and a half.

Thank you.

- What size, sir?

Eight, please.

- Your check, sir.

- Oh, thank you.

You ready, honey?

Get back!

Farther back, honey!

- What's the matter? I was coming down.

- Wasn't Mrs. Loomis going shopping?

Yeah. Why?

Well, she sure got herself

an armful of groceries. Come on.

Rose?

Rose? Did you get the cigarettes?

- Didn't I give 'em to you?

- No, you didn't.

They're in my coat pocket, then.

Light me up, too, Georgie.

Mmm, that felt good. Dry my back.

Bunch of kids must've checked in.

It's good to hear a laugh for a change.

Mmm.

- And I thought you forgot how to dance.

- There's still some Shredded Wheat in me.

- I'm thirsty. Mmm-hmm.

- You are? Come on.

- Hi, Mr. Qua. Having supper?

- No. Fresh figs. Have one.

- Best physic anybody ever had.

- No, thanks. Just a Coke.

Hey. Get out the fire hose.

Why don't you ever get a dress like that?

Listen, for a dress like that you've gotta

start laying plans when you're about 13.

- Would you mind playing this?

- Yeah. Sure thing, lady.

Kiss.

Kiss me

Won't you kiss me?

Oh, kiss

Kiss me

Say you miss...

What about it, lady?

Better not.

With heavenly affection

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

Hold...

- Plain Cokes or did you spike 'em?

- No, just plain. Would you like one?

No, thanks.

Hold me, hold me...

You kinda like that song,

don't you, Mrs. Loomis?

There isn't any other song.

With all your heart's protection

This is a moment of

Thrill

Thrill me, thrill me

Take me, take me in your arms

And make my life...

Perfection

Take me

Darling, don't forsake me

Kiss me, hold me tight

Love me, love me tonight

Gee, I'm sorry. He was OK before.

I think he cut his hand. If you want,

we have some Mercurochrome.

- I wouldn't dare go in there right now.

- If you don't mind, I'll do it.

Well, thanks.

Your husband doesn't seem to like music.

Depends. He'll get right down and dig,

if you give him a rocking chair

and a corny old tune like In the Gloaming.

What is it?

I brought you some Mercurochrome

for your hand. I'm Polly Cutler.

I suppose she sent you

to find out if I cut it off.

- Well, tell her I didn't!

- Do you want me to fix it or not?

I...

I guess it was silly, what I did.

But that song...

She didn't tell you about that, I bet.

Of course not.

She didn't say where

she first heard it or with who.

Well, she didn't tell me either.

Hold still, please.

Parading around,

showing herself off in that dress,

cut down so low in front

you can see her kneecaps.

- It's a stunning dress.

- Would you wear it?

Well, I'm not the kneecap type.

She's a pretty girl. Why hide it?

Don't worry about that.

She'd like to wear it where everybody

could see her, in the Yankee Stadium.

She's a tramp!

I tell you now so you won't have to ask.

You love her very much, don't you?

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