Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist Page #2

Oh, dear God.

Go.

That tastes so good.

Help, help, help. I just made out

with Tris' sloppy seconds.

What's the problem now?

Caroline, the problem is that this is not

gonna compete with perfect little that.

Okay? It's time to go. Night is over.

- I fell.

- I know you fell.

Let me give you a hand with that.

- I gotta get her home.

- Are you going back to Englewood?

- I can take you. That where you live?

- Do I look like I'm from Englewood?

I don't know if you're saying

that you are from there or you're not.

That's one super cut

you got there, dude.

- Think she's drunk.

- Oh, yeah.

I'm just parked right out front.

I think we can walk her out there.

- Wait. Stop.

- What?

- Are you mad at me?

- No, Caroline.

- Sorry.

- It's okay.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi, we're Bishop Allen.

- Try to walk. Focus on walking.

- Hi, guys. So look, I need you.

What?

Can we get a ride?

Who...? We? Is that...? Are you...?

You and this fellow here? Is that "we"?

- Well...

- Sorry, Tris, the car's full.

You didn't say "hi" to me earlier.

Are you mad at me?

I think you should probably

take Drunkzilla here...

...back to Daddy's house anyway,

don't you?

And I was just talking to Nick, so...

You know what, Tris? There's no room

for you, okay? Not tonight. Come on.

Well, that's cool. I'll catch up with

you guys. It's a small car, anyway.

You guys have fun.

Not now, Gary.

Sorry.

Give me a minute.

Damn it. Why won't she turn?

- I think it's gotta cool down.

- Yugo.

Yeah, you don't see many of these

Easter eggs on the road.

Yeah. Once you buy one

you see them everywhere.

Oh, yeah? It's pretty small.

In mint condition, though.

Yeah. This is the result of a lot

of time and care.

Unfortunately.

- You off-duty?

- This isn't a cab.

Are you off-duty?

It's not a cab, my friend, I promise you.

Okay, don't get mad.

I wasn't getting mad.

What is that?

It's not as ominous as it seems.

I told you they look cute together.

Okay, here's the plan.

I'm gonna go give Nicky a pep talk.

Dev, clean up the girl.

Nick. I had a feeling

you two might get stuck.

- Having some trouble?

- Stalled again?

Hi, Thom. Hi, beefy guy.

- Lady friend.

- Yes?

Dev could use your assistance

in the van, if you please. Thank you.

In the van?

In the van. Large vehicle right there?

Yes, thank you. Thank you.

Hi.

Try this.

What?

Let's just say we're not the biggest

fans of his ex.

And we've decided

you're to be his salvation.

Besides, we saw you two making out,

and we think you're the one.

We just gotta get you

out of that sports bra.

- This isn't a sports bra.

- Come on. We're all ladies here.

Are you seriously

talking about Tris right now?

I think this might be my opportunity

to get some answers, you know?

Do not talk to this girl

about Tris, Nicky. I mean it.

Look, we'll take

the drunk mess home.

You kids go find Fluffy, text us

when you do and we'll meet you there.

What could possibly go wrong?

Okay.

Oh, it's better than the uni-boob.

Thanks a lot.

This isn't gonna work, okay?

He's hung up on Tris.

You look gorgeous.

And let me tell you something:

Nicky is definitely worth the underwire.

He just needs a little push, that's all.

Sh*t.

Oh, God. I gotta get my friend home.

- We'll do it.

- What?

We'll do it. Go find Fluffy.

Go.

- Hey, unlock the door, please.

- Hi, hello?

Caroline? Honey, can you hear me?

Aren't you a sweet thing?

- Wake up, Caroline.

- Wake up.

- Wake up, Caroline.

- Get out.

Please be careful. This is not a toy.

- Can you...?

- You just need to be quiet.

Unlock the door, b*tch.

Please don't be mad at me.

I'm right here.

Caroline. Just like we practiced.

Go like this.

I'm right here.

- You don't have to yell at me.

- Go like that. Up, up a little.

- Yes.

- Yeah.

- Everybody, move along. Thank you.

- I got her.

- All right.

- I did it.

- I can see the head.

- Come with me. Come with me.

I got her.

Okay. Nobody look.

I got her.

If you touch one hair on her head,

I will kill all of you.

Norah, I'm being carried.

You look so...

She'll be okay.

Is she conscious?

She'll be okay.

They're not gonna kill her.

Eyes up here.

So where do you think Fluffy's

gonna be?

- Should we try Mercury Lounge?

- Yeah, that's good.

But you know Fluffy's not going on

till super late, though.

So I guess we have some time

to kill, then.

So...

...your friends are all gay, right?

Not all my friends.

Not all your friends,

but the ones in the van are gay?

Yeah, I mean, they're all gay. Yeah.

One hundred percent, you know, gay.

Gay every day, all the time.

Okay. That's a relief.

If anyone's gonna get raped

in that van, it will be a guy.

That's good.

You wanna get a drink or something?

- I don't drink at all.

- I don't either.

You don't?

Are you straightedge like I am?

I don't really subscribe to any label.

Fine.

Hey. What's that banging?

- Is it my car?

- I think it's drums. Get it?

Get it? Rhythm?

Rhythmic drumming on drums?

Because when you're in a band,

you need drums.

And you're in a band,

and you don't have drums.

Thanks.

I haven't heard that before.

I didn't mean your band wasn't good.

I just meant you need a drummer.

You can just drop me off up here

if you want.

- Yo. Yo.

- Oh, my God.

Taxi. Yeah.

- Hi.

- Hey. Bowery Ballroom.

No, I'm not a cab, sir.

I'm not a cab. I'm not a cab.

- It's so good to be alone.

- Finally.

- Bowery Ballroom?

- You made that happen.

Oh, God, yeah,

that's what I'm talking about.

- I do that?

- Yeah, you do that.

- So are you from Englewood?

- Yep.

Englewood, up to no good.

- I'm from Hoboken.

- Hoboken, no joking. What?

- I love you.

- I love you.

I love you so much it's retarded.

So are you going off to college?

You smell so good.

- I don't know. I got into Brown.

- Oh, you smell like soap.

But I have this job lined up here

which is...

I don't know,

and I have to make up my mind fast...

...because they're only holding

my spot at Brown until tomorrow.

- I'm going to Berklee School of Music.

- Oh, yeah?

- It's in Boston.

- That's awesome.

If you went to Brown,

we'd only be an hour away.

Yes.

What's wrong?

- Cramp.

- What? What? Hold on.

- My hand's stuck in the seat belt.

- Cramp, cramp, cramp. Cramp.

Okay, last stop. Get out, please.

- What do I owe you?

- It's $8.50.

- There you go, man.

- Okay.

- Thanks for the ride.

- Okay. Careful, now.

- Oh, my God.

- All right, hey.

Cherish one another, folks.

Don't slam my door, please.

Nice folks. Charged a little extra

for the cleanup.

That's gonna be fun.

Thanks for sticking that out with me.

Yeah.

So that's it, Tris.

That's the breakup mix.

Ten songs from my broken...

That was not even real.

Can we go straight

to laughing about this?

- I have to pee.

- Okay.

Go pee.

- Hey, how you been?

- Hi.

Caroline, pick up the phone.

Caroline.

Look, Dev, I am sick and tired

of arguing about our band's name.

- What about Sh*t Sandwich?

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