No Time for Sergeants

Synopsis: Hillbilly, Will Stockdale, drafted into the United States' Air Force, combines crushing naivety, stubbornness, a completely literal mind, and amazing physical strength. Will the Air Force survive all the numerous experiences?
Genre: Comedy, War
Director(s): Mervyn LeRoy
Production: Warner Home Video
 
IMDB:
7.7
APPROVED
Year:
1958
119 min
1,151 Views


[MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO]

Will?

WILL:

What is it, Pa?

Come out here.

Listen. Your ears are better than mine.

Somebody's coming.

I don't hear nothing.

Turn off that whatchama-call-it.

- The radio.

- I know what you call it. Turn it off.

[TURNS RADIO OFF]

First, I heard one of them cars.

Then it stopped.

And now

somebody's coming down the hill.

You hear?

MAN:
Y'all stay right here.

If I call, come a-running.

Pa, that ain't no way to welcome folks.

Maybe it's kin.

Kin don't come in no cars.

See if you can wake up

that old hound dog.

Hey, Blue?

Come on, Blue.

I got a big old catfish head for you.

Come on, Blue.

Never seen such a crickety dang pit

in my whole life.

Stuck up all over here and everything.

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

- Are you Will Stockdale?

- Howdy.

Three dang times this month,

I've been out here...

Don't you point your finger

in my boy's face.

Are you threatening me with a firearm?

I'm a government representative

on business.

Busting up here

without saying howdy or nothing.

- What government?

- U.S. government. The draft board.

This boy's been called for the draft.

He never reported.

He's a draft dodger.

Fold in that finger, sir.

I'm warning you, fold in that finger.

He could go to jail for that.

He's in today's group.

And this is your last chance.

If you don't leave with that group

at 12 a. m...

...you're gonna be in more trouble

than you ever did see.

You already got one offense against you.

- Not answering my letters.

- I never got no letters.

Don't tell me you can't read. You could've

got somebody to read them to you.

- So that ain't no excuse.

- You mean to stand there...

...and tell me to my face

my boy can't read?

- Now, look...

- You think my boy...

...who has gone to school...

...and who has read more times

than you could shake a stick at...

...couldn't read a puny little old letter,

if he wanted to?

By dog, sir.

I never got no letters.

I don't think I can stand

to listen to any more of this.

Get that book.

No, sir, what you think

don't mean nothing to me...

...but we are gonna settle this here question

right here and now...

...and not have

no more foolishness about it.

Read at him.

"Once there was a boy named Tony...

...who wanted a pony.

So he went to his mama and said:

'May I have a pony? '

And his Mama says:

'No, Tony, you may not have a pony."'

Go on.

"So he went to his papa and said:

'Papa, may I have a pony? '

And his papa says:

'No, Tony, you may not have...

...a pony."'

End of the book,

he gets the pony anyhow.

Now that we have settled

if or not my boy can read...

- Pa.

- you best be getting off my property...

...and back in that car of yours

and out of range...

- Pa, be Christian to him.

- Christian?

You know

what the Lord would've done...

...if a man come all hot

and stomping onto his property...

...without saying howdy or nothing?

Scaring his chickens

and saying folks can't read?

Sir, would it be all right

if me and Pa speak private-like?

- Okay, but make it short.

- Thank you, sir.

Come on, Pa.

And don't try any funny business.

Because I ain't alone here.

Set yourself, Pa.

Now, listen, Pa.

I don't think

this here draft's such a bad idea.

I mean, I'd kind of like to go.

There's a whole lot of fellas there

and they all march along right, snappy like.

You listen to me, boy.

Going in the draft

don't mean just going into town.

It means Macon and Atlanta

and still further.

I've been to Atlanta, you know that.

When I was no older than you.

I told you how them folks laughed at me

and called me smart names.

You don't want that, boy.

- Pa, now ain't the same as it was then.

- Dogged if it ain't.

But they want me. They even sent a fella

to come and fetch me, didn't they?

And that ain't all.

Last spring, I seen a sign on the sidewalk

down there in town.

This great big old picture of Uncle Sam.

"And Uncle Sam wants you,"

he's a-saying.

Just like this fellow here, Pa,

pointing his finger right straight in my face.

Don't you think a soldier fella

come up to me right then and there...

...inviting me to come along

with all the other fellas?

I told him how you was ailing then...

...and would he kindly wait a while.

You've been tearing up them letters,

ain't you, Pa?

And you ain't ailing no more.

- Hey, are you coming or do I have to...

- I'm just fixing to get me my shoes.

You've got to know this:

He's a good boy.

It's my blame

he didn't come when he should've.

I don't care who or why, mister.

We got him now.

Remember, Pa?

I got these here for Aunt Tuzie's funeral.

Ain't it nice I'm finally getting a chance

to wear them again?

Appears they liked to have shrunk a little.

They'll put shoes on you in Army.

And ain't gonna wait

for you to put them on.

Listen, draft man, you tell them folks

to be nice to my boy, you hear?

- lf they ain't, I'll...

- I'm ready.

Say goodbye to Blue for me

when he wakes up, will you?

I will.

- Write to me regular, you hear?

- Sure, Pa.

Print big.

I will.

Remember, draft man, what I said.

- lf they ain't good to my boy...

- Yeah, I'll remember.

Come on, boy, we gotta go.

- Bye, Pa.

- Bye, Will.

All right, fill it out.

Last name first, first name,

middle name last. Fill it out.

All right, fill it out.

Last name first, first name,

middle name last. Fill them out.

All right. Fill it out.

Last name first, first name,

middle name last. Fill it out.

Fill it out. Last name first, first name,

middle name last. Fill it out.

Rosabelle Lou, honest now,

you sure you gonna miss me?

Why, Stanton, honey...

...you all know your little Rosabelle's

just gonna die of loneliness.

Honey, baby doll.

All right, fill it out.

Last name first, first name,

middle name last. Fill it out.

Fill it out. Last name first, first name,

middle name last. Fill it out.

Hey, you.

This the group going to the Air Force?

That's where I'm driving the bus to.

You want a reserved seat?

All right.

Save the jokes for the plowboys.

Fill it out. Last name, first name,

middle name last.

- I know, I know, I know.

- Fill it out.

Hey, look,

they're bringing a fella in bracelets.

Finally latched onto him, Mr. McKinney?

- Did he give you any trouble?

- Trouble?

Ain't no draft dodger

gonna give me any trouble.

Had to borrow the sheriff's handcuffs.

That'll hold you

till I get you on that bus.

- But, Mr. McKinney, I ain't dodging nothing.

- Shut up.

Let me have it.

Fill it out. Last name first, first name,

middle name last. Lean on the pump.

- Last name first...

- First name, middle name last.

Huh.

- All right, any you boys had any ROTC?

- I did. Close to a year.

- What's your name?

- Blanchard, Irving S.

Irving? Okay, Irving.

I'm setting you in charge

of this here group.

When you

get to your classification center...

...give these forms

to the sergeant of your barracks.

- What about him?

- Keep them cuffs on him. Here are the keys.

It took me three months

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John Lee Mahin

John Lee Mahin (August 23, 1902, Evanston, Illinois – April 18, 1984, Los Angeles) was an American screenwriter and producer of films who was active in Hollywood from the 1930s to the 1960s. He was known as the favorite writer of Clark Gable and Victor Fleming. In the words of one profile, he had "a flair for rousing adventure material, and at the same time he wrote some of the raciest and most sophisticated sexual comedies of that period." more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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