Ocean's Thirteen Page #2

You can't.

No. Well, your body mass index

is not what it's supposed to be.

-But Ms. Sponder...

-Oh, no, baby doll.

It's your butt

that's the problem.

You can't fire no waitress

based on appearance, man.

-That's just unconstitutional.

-If they were waitresses.

They're actually hired

as "models who serve"...

... so Bank can monitor

their physical appearance.

It's a cruel, cruel practice.

So, between Bank and Sponder,

they got the place covered.

-When's opening night?

-July third.

Got fireworks at the stroke of midnight.

The whole shebang.

We're going in now?

It's already open.

No, it's a soft opening, to test the

place before the grand opening.

Yeah, it's kind of like an out-of-town

preview, only it's in town.

Soft opening, grand opening.

When they opened the Flamingo...

... one day it was closed, the next

day it was open. End of story.

-I know, I was there.

-Well, it's different now.

-So when is opening night?

-July third.

Now, the top casinos can clear $3

million a day just on the floor.

Bank, with his high-level players

and no limits, is projecting five.

But in exchange for the loans, he had to

give up 6 of the 9 seats on the board.

So he doesn't control his own company.

And a couple of the guys

he brought in aren't friendlies.

So he has to clear 500 million

in the first quarter...

... or he gets dumped

out of his own hotel.

And, of course, Bank wants another

Five Diamond Award. Fifth in a row.

Every hotel I have ever owned has won

a Royal Review Five Diamond Award.

The Sagarro Inn, five diamonds.

The Peloponnesian, Monte

Carlo, five diamonds.

The Grand Sapphire,

Singapore, cinco diamantes!

The Otemanu Crest, Tahiti...

I've never not won one.

-So how are you gonna get the diamonds?

-We're not.

We thought about it for minute,

then we decided it was...

Impossible.

But he's not gonna be winning any more.

Tell him about Debbie.

Yeah, tell me about Debbie.

Debbie is concierge at The Bank.

She's very ambitious...

... in a good way, for us.

As soon as I said the words

"general manager" and "Macao"...

... she was in. I put a

cherry on top to make sure.

We found out who'd be

reviewing the hotel.

We're gonna get to

him before Bank can.

I feel bad. It's like torture.

This is war, kid. There's

gonna be collateral damage.

And he gets the Susan B.

Anthony at the airport.

-He doesn't know that.

-So what?

He has to know why

he won to enjoy it?

Who says?

All right, so you'd go

through that for 10 million?

No. I'd do it for 11 mil.

Now, we've found out Bank is tapped

into the federal fingerprint database.

Highly illegal.

We came up with a way to piggyback

his system between firewall checks.

-Very interesting stuff out there.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else?

We're gonna get his whales.

-How?

-He talked to Denny Shields.

Denny Shields? After he bragged

about you guys to Toulour...

... and started that whole slog?

-We need him.

I should've kept my mouth shut.

And then I saw that guy walking around.

I didn't know who he was.

He was just some guy to me.

And I guess I pissed him off.

Denny, there's no way you could've

known who he was, so just forget it.

It's okay. Let it go.

Well, the other stuff I got taken care

of is all straight. I got 18 whales.

I spoke to their handlers, I spoke to their

managers, I spoke to their assistants.

Every one of them's gonna leave.

We're gonna do it in two tiers.

I'm gonna leave first.

They're gonna follow.

Great.

Okay. But you gotta make sure they

win, because these guys usually lose.

-And when they lose, they get comped.

-They're gonna win big.

-How big?

-Five hundred.

-Million? That night just the group of you?

-No.

-No, it's a reverse big store.

-Right.

-Doesn't matter if we win.

-As long as the casino loses, yes.

Yes. That could actually work.

So you need to rig...

Craps, blackjack,

roulette, slots.

Now this polymer reacts

to ultrasonic pulses.

But it's not metallic, so the compasses

on the table won't detect it.

And it don't affect the weight when

they mike the dice. Now, this...

Not really a lighter?

Dice are controlled from the

manufacturer all the way to the floor.

Which is why we went all the

way to the manufacturer.

You think they could kick

on the air conditioning?

It's dangerous.

Put your mask back on.

Danger is my middle name.

So that's not your problem. So

you're jammed on blackjack?

We've embedded Livingston

in the Shuffle company.

The tack will stimulate your EKG

much in the same way a lie would.

But you have to step on it

during the control questions...

... name, birthdate, so on...

... so those levels will match the

stress levels of your false answers.

Got it. How much is

this gonna hurt?

If you're doing it right,

should be excruciating.

-Is your birthdate February 11th, 1965?

-Yes.

-Are you wearing a white shirt?

-Yes.

Have you ever been involved

in the commission of a crime?

No.

Have you ever defrauded or attempted

to defraud the gaming industry?

No.

-Alex?

-Solid.

I love technology.

To look at you, I'd swear

you were being evasive...

... but the machine

says you're clean.

I'm just a little nervous.

I really want this job.

Well, you can relax now.

Welcome to Shuffle Royale.

The Shuffle Royale.

Well, I doubt I've heard

the last of that one.

So if blackjack is not your

problem, it must be slots.

Progressives run off

computer chips now.

You're gonna have to

program in a trap door.

I can probably find you

someone to do that.

Thanks, Roman.

We got somebody on the inside.

A great kid named Eugene.

He's got a little

too much downtime.

He's run up a nice

online gaming tab.

He won't be able to keep

it a secret much longer.

Now I have no...

Yeah, it's crazy.

-How bad is it?

-It's bad. I owe-I owe $30,000.

-So it may as well be a hundred.

-All right.

Let's call it a hundred.

Thanks, Danny.

Eugene, my pleasure. Now tell me how

you're gonna program that trap door.

So if that's not the problem,

it must be roulette.

Cutting edge in that game is

infrared scanner in the shoe...

... wired to a microcomputer

somewhere on your person...

... which figures the probability of where

the wheels will land to three digits.

Yeah, we-we tried that.

No offence, the way he

was dressed didn't help.

Not very subtle, this guy.

-So you're stuck on roulette.

-No.

We're going lo-fi. We figured we'd

get some loaded balls in there.

You're kidding. How are

you gonna deliver?

Two stages. First, we

position a man of our own.

There's a gaming expo the

day of the grand opening...

... which Bank is committed to attend,

to show what a regular guy he is.

Frank's suiting up as the gamer.

The men who make the decisions

are very, very hard to impress.

That's why I'm asking each and every

one of you to help me sell it...

... by being the most

classy, genteel ladies.

The image that we're looking

for is a tasteful elegance.

-What exactly do you want us to do?

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