Ocean's Twelve Page #5

It's too sad to be funny.

Unusable.

- I think I can get 20 minutes out of it.

- Great.

I got it. The team's in Barcelona.

The bag's in Madrid.

This is a moral issue

we're dealing with here.

And we don't have a grease man anymore

because he's in a bag somewhere.

We got a bag man.

Such an ape. An animal

with no feelings.

- I have feelings.

- No, you don't.

I feel bad for the guy. He's in a piece

of luggage, but he's got water.

- What did you want them to do?

- Get off the bus.

And pick up the bag

with our friend in it.

How many pro soccer teams

are fielding 50-year-old men?

Rusty's not 50 years old.

Yeah, dude, we know Rusty's not 50.

You think I'm 50 years old?

Let me ask you something.

No, wait, let me ask you something.

How old do you think I am?

Forty-eight.

You think I'm 48 years old?

Fifty-two?

- Maybe he should've asked me.

- Nobody should ever ask you anything.

That guy doesn't have a hard enough

life right now? You gotta...

You're gonna defend him?

They put Yen in a handbag.

- Can I ask you something? Ever notice...?

- lf you're gonna ask a question...

...give me time to respond,

unless it's rhetorical...

...in which case the answer

is obvious:
yes.

- Okay, can I ask...?

- Yes.

- You ever notice that Tess looks exactly...?

- Don't ever ask that. Seriously.

- Not to anyone. Especially not to her.

- Wait. Why not?

Look.

It's not in my nature to be mysterious...

...but I can't talk about it,

and I can't talk about why.

- Can I ask you...? Do I look 50 to you?

- Yeah.

- Really?

- Well, I mean, only from the neck up.

Saul?

What's the matter?

Nothing.

You wanna go out? It's nice.

No.

You wanna watch something?

The game's on.

No.

- You hungry? I'll heat something up.

- No.

Saul, ever since you got back,

you've been acting strange.

What did Danny want?

Nothing.

Nothing?

How could he want nothing?

All right, the Night Fox has a name.

Francois Toulour.

Baron Francois Toulour.

Father was a French industrialist,

mother was Italian nobility.

He never met her,

but he inherited her title.

The bad news is he's rich, he's bored

and he's talented.

The really bad news is he was trained

by LeMarc.

- This is not good.

- With the LeMarc? Gaspar LeMarc?

That's the one.

- Well, we're doomed.

- We're not doomed.

- He's one guy, and he's French.

- Yeah.

Before we get too impressed by

his background...

...let's hear what he's done.

- He started in the '90s.

Bank of Geneva, the Danish Treasury,

the Bank of Italy, AMC Amro...

...the Brussels Diamond Exchange,

Antwerp Diamond Exchange.

- Wait, wait. All those in the 1990s?

- I'm only up to '96.

- Seriously?

- In '97, he went through an art phase.

He hit the Tate in London, the Louvre

in Paris, twice, and the Prado.

Wait. No, no, hang on. The Prado Museum

in '97? That was Moretti.

- Everybody knows that...

- He is Moretti. It's one of his aliases.

Okay, I'll skip to my favorite.

In 2002, he stole the king of Morocco's

200-foot yacht. Vanished into thin air.

Crew surfaced days later in a life raft.

Couldn't remember a thing.

- How do you hide a 200-foot yacht?

- lf the king knows, he's not telling.

He got it back a month later. He now

plays tennis with Toulour every weekend.

- We're in some serious trouble here.

- Copy that.

- So, what do we do?

- We respond.

- Respond? How?

- In kind.

Mr. Ocean.

You broke rule number one,

and that has consequences.

Oh, you must be talking about

the paintings.

Don't worry. You'll be dead in five days,

and I'll get my paintings back.

- Unless you have an accident first.

- I don't think so, Daniel.

Perhaps I should explain to you

why I'm tormenting you.

I'd like that.

Last month I was in Portugal

to see my mentor.

- LeMarc.

- Indeed.

A very loud and annoying American

businessman was there the same day.

He worked for a big insurance company.

He's the one who suggested Benedict

to you as a potential mark.

- You know the man?

- What about him?

He said it was the most beautiful job

he'd ever seen.

He went on and on about this job,

and then he said...

...it showed you were the greatest

thief in the world.

But the worst part is that LeMarc

never corrected him.

I told LeMarc that you can't be

better than me.

And he answered that it was impossible

to know for sure.

So I thought about that for, like,

three weeks in a row, day and night.

And then suddenly, I realized that

he was actually right.

It is impossible to compare one theft

to the other.

So I guess the only way to know

who's the best of us for sure...

...is to go after the same object.

Do the same job.

Don't you think that would be fun?

You're being awfully cavalier with a lot of

people's lives so you can play out a game.

You're gonna regret it.

Come on, Mr. Ocean.

How are you gonna possibly get

$97 million by next Wednesday?

Especially if every safe you crack between

now and then is already empty?

Whereas if you accept my challenge

and win...

...I promise I'll pay your debt

to Benedict...

...and LeMarc will hold my money

in escrow as a guarantee.

What are we stealing?

The famous Faberg Coronation Egg.

- Was that your idea or LeMarc's?

- I think he would agree...

...that it's the most appropriate thing

for us to compete over.

Where is it located?

The egg left Paris this morning

on its way to Rome.

It travels with heavy security and usually

with one or more replicas.

Sometimes they even show the replicas

without anybody knowing.

When the egg goes on display

Monday morning...

...you'll have 48 hours to steal it

before your deadline's up.

When the deadline passes and you don't

have the egg...

...LeMarc will know who's the best.

- Rusty's phone.

- Who is this?

Nicole. Who's this?

Nagel. Where's Rusty?

He said if you called,

to say he was at Gunther's.

Gunther's? What's that about?

Did he say something?

Do you have a message?

Yes, I do. Tell him this thing is gonna

cost him double what I told him.

And tell him I had to go three times

as thin on the layers.

And tell him if he wants it tomorrow,

it should cost him more than double.

And tell him this thing is beautiful.

Would fool the bloody Romanovs

themselves.

And tell him I'm being a nice guy.

And tell him he dresses like a gigolo.

Is that it?

Yeah. No. Tell him having

a sexy female assistant...

...is such a terrible clich.

Can I get a coffee or something?

Thanks. Just a cappuccino or espresso.

Well...

You call me on Saturday and ask me

to come into my office...

...and sign a 1077...

...and you can't even tell me

what they are after?

- I can come to your house.

- I'm leaving for Naples in two hours.

- We'll talk about this on Wednesday.

- It'll be gone by Wednesday.

- What? What? What will be gone?

- Something worth signing a 1077 for.

Ryan and his friends did the Bellagio

casino heist in 2001.

- I am telling you, this is serious...

- lf that's true...

...then we should call the American FBl...

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