On Set: The Making of 'A Christmas Wedding Tail' Page #4

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his elves who ate them all last year?

Okay, maybe I had a couple.

- How did it go at the dress shop?

- It was interesting.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Okay, that's an understatement.

And the girls?

I think the girls are about as excited

about the wedding as the boys are.

Did you really expect otherwise?

It's a big change for them.

You can't expect them

to fall in love with you overnight.

I know.

They just want to feel

safe and secure.

They want to know

they can count on you.

Well, they can.

I know, but they need

to learn that.

Right now they're just probably

feeling totally invisible,

like they don't have a say.

They want to be appreciated

and encouraged, you know?

I mean, everyone works

at their own pace.

So just give it time, sweetie.

- I'm gonna get that.

- Okay.

- I'm just gonna--

- I guess you don't like them any more.

- Huh-uh.

- I'll do crudites, you know, tonight.

Hello?

So how are things

out in the boondocks?

Fine.

Yeah? Well, I've been in the office

all day, busting my hump for you.

And I got you an opportunity

that I think is gonna make you flip.

Oh?

Chief Curator of the New York Museum

of Contemporary Art.

You got nothing!

Take that.

MOCA?

That's right.

Isn't that crazy?

- That's unbelievable.

- Yeah, it's wild, isn't it?

The last curator took a similar position

at the Louvre.

Take that.

And here's

the luckiest part of all:

They're gonna be in Los Angeles

tomorrow conducting interviews.

Wait, tomorrow?

Tomorrow.

Isn't that crazy?

I was able to call in some favors

and pull a few strings

and I got you a prime 11:30 slot.

Am I good or what?

I'll be there.

So seriously, I'm asking,

am I good or what? Just say it.

Um...

Okay, I am personally

sending you an email...

with all the details. Done.

Okay, thanks.

Wow.

Here we go. Come on,

she's kicking your butt, tubby.

Come on.

Embarrassing. Embarrassing.

MOCA?

Oh my--

Oh, come on, people.

Hello.

- Hey.

- Hi.

Where are you?

I'm running some errands.

What's up?

Well, I was just calling

to remind you

about the coordinators

this afternoon.

That was today?

Okay, what time?

3:
00, my office.

You know what?

I might be a few minutes late.

I have to go pick up the kids.

Okay. Sounds good.

I'll see you then, honey.

Bye.

I'm actually very traditional.

I was thinking

white folding chairs

and, um--

and some white--

um...

I'm highly allergic to dogs

and I keep sneezing

and it makes me very sick.

Yeah, well, I'm allergic

to your perfume.

Now I'm gonna make your wedding

fabulicious.

Now I was thinking

for decorations,

it should be leopard.

Rrow!

We would have horse-drawn carriages

and runners down the aisle.

You know what?

Let's lose the horses.

I think that sounds a little much.

Rusty might get jealous.

Yeah, my cousin

has this great restaurant.

The meatballs there

are to die for, literally.

Be quiet for me

one minute, please.

I just want to feel the energy

of your dogs.

Awkward.

My energy is creeped out.

We'll have a wedding scene

look like Santa's workshop.

Oh ho ho ho!

Well, it's on Christmas, isn't it?

Yeah-- no.

Yeah, he's going with it.

Ho ho ho ho ho!

Oh, at the wedding we can tell you

how to do everything.

We can do "Drop It Like it's Hot."

And then we could do booty shake,

booty shake, booty shake.

Brownies--

brownies for all of your guests.

I'm liking this vibe.

I really like that.

And what's nice about hay bales

is they also double as a toothpick.

'Cause you get that meat stuck in

there. You just need a little toothpick.

You get it out of a hay bale

and you just do-- it's perfect.

Little elves

dancing around the tables.

Your poodle can stay

because it's hypoallergenic.

Of course I am.

But the other dog has to go.

Do I need to state the obvious?

No, I don't think so.

Your dogs" they're telling me

that they love granola.

Running man, running man,

running man, running man.

She can do a running man

while she's coming down the aisle.

- Like that?

- That's awesome.

Everybody has a hootenanny

good time.

They come on in.

They leave. They're married.

Well, maybe they don't last long,

but it doesn't matter.

The wedding

was the most fun part of it.

See, this is great. We're learning

about each other right now as well.

Now if you need a preacher,

I can be your preacher.

I got a Bible for it.

Yeah, hello.

Wow.

If you need a pastor--

ho ho ho--

Santa Claus is licensed

to do weddings.

So I'm detecting a real--

real Christmas theme here

to the wedding.

You guys need extra security?

'Cause I know a couple guys.

- Really? Really?

- That's good. No, that's good.

- Well, you know.

- Really?

I will not come to the wedding

if that dog is there.

Okay.

Lady, I won't come to the wedding

if you're there.

The way we see it,

the bride should be married like a queen

and treated like a queen--

with the exception, of course,

of a subsequent beheading.

Thank you.

Lots and lots of doves

flying overhead

during your vows.

Can you train these doves

not to poop?

No worries.

Yeah.

Aside from the hippies and the yogis,

I would say that went pretty well.

Personally I'd go

with the Santa Claus guy,

because that way there'd be

presents at your wedding.

I know someone at the dog park-- Pepe.

He could probably be an officiant

at your wedding, but I'd have to see

if his papers are in order.

Well, this is where we live.

Hey. Are you too busy

to give your mom a kiss?

How was school?

Fine. I'm learning how to make

Emeril's fish soup.

I need to get

the spice portions correct.

Mm-hmm.

- Can I make it for dinner tonight?

- You know, you have homework.

- But Mom.

- Sorry, it's a school night

and you need to get ready for bed

so we have time for your

multiplication before, okay?

You left early this morning.

Oh yeah. I had some errands to run

before it got too late.

How were the coordinators?

You know, I think we're gonna end up

doing it ourselves.

Well, it's your wedding.

I saw your letter

about the rent.

Oh, don't worry about that.

Of course I'm gonna worry

about it, Mom.

You said things were bad, but you

didn't say they were this severe.

Things have been a little hard

since your father died,

but I'll be fine.

Do not worry about it, okay?

Okay.

Where's Ryan?

He's over there.

I caught him looking through

Paul's things earlier today.

You go on upstairs and rest.

I'll make dinner.

Okay.

Hey, buddy.

You all right?

How was it today?

Did you play soccer at lunch?

-- Where are you guys going?

- I don't have it.

- Josh.

So while the idea

of a Christmas wedding day

might have sounded

fun and special,

they were about to learn it presented

one teensy little problem.

I heard back from

the Congregational Church,

the Baptist Church

and the Presbyterians.

They're all busy with their Christmas

services and the restaurants are closed.

- Something's got to be open.

- Yeah, there is--

Chang's House

of Dim Sum and Donuts.

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