One Night at McCool's Page #6

with a thing.

Did you forget

about the dead guy on the floor?

No, I did not forget about

the dead guy on the floor,

but we're not

talking about him right now,

we're talking about the dead guy

on the floor's stuff,

and he had a lot of stuff,

stuff we could have taken

if you weren't such a chickens hit.

What's that?

So now

I'm a chicken sh*t, is that it?

Yes, I believe that's

the technical term for what you are.

Yeah, well,

I'd rather be a chicken sh*t

than whatever

the hell is it that you are.

I'm the woman

living with the chicken sh*t.

Not for long.

Yeah, not for long,

that's right,

because I need a real man,

someone I can count on,

not a chicken sh*t like you.

Ah, good, company.

Thus far, police have no leads...

It's that cop!

Aren't you glad we don't have

a lot of stolen stuff

Iyin' around now?

You're a genius.

- Hi.

- Morning.

Thought you'd wanna know

we closed the investigation

on the shooting at McCool's,

no charges will be filed.

We're gonna let you slide

on the unregistered gun

'cause it was self-defense.

Thanks.

Everything okay, ma'am?

Yeah. Sure.

Those are some

pretty nasty bruises.

Huh?

Oh yeah, she -

had an accident.

Accident?

Would you mind if I

talk to her for a minute?

Sure.

Alone?

Okay.

At the time, I was glad

Jewel was gonna talk to him

She knew how to

handle the cops,

what to say

to get rid of em

She was good that way

Whatever happened in there,

she doesn't want

to talk about it.

That's 'cause

nothing happened.

What we do in these

domestic violence situations

is ask you to

vacate the premises.

What domestic violence?!

I will go to a Judge who will

issue a restraining order

which means you are not

allowed on this property -

This is my house!

Or within 100 yards of your wife

until this matter is settled.

She's not my wife!

That's too bad -

you'd have more rights if she were.

You expect me to

Just walk away?

If you don't, I'm afraid

I'm gonna have to arrest you.

You can't be serious!

This- this-

can't I Just talk to her?

I don't think that would

be wise at this time, sir.

Whatever she told you,

she's- she-

It's not true,

y'know, okay?

Hey, Jewel, honey,

could you come out here, please?

I could still book you

on the unregistered gun.

Hun!

Jewel!

Would you be kind enough

to tell the police officer

that I didn't hit you!

Would you please

tell the officer

that I didn't

do anything to you?

Don't make me

use force, sir.

Jewel!

Jewel!

Randy:

I couldn't believe it

I was so pissed at her

I thought I was gonna explode

Well, I gotta admit,

she's not perfect.

Not perfect?!

Charlie:

She's like this pure, delicate flower,

I Just wanted

to protect her.

- But, uh, she was

living with another man.

- That piece of slime?

he didn't deserve her.

And you did?

I don't know.

Oh, Charlie.

I was totally

cons umed by her.

My every thought

was of her.

I was walkin' around in a haze.

People talked to me,

but I didn't hear

what they were saying

Cop:

Gregory Potter Spradling.

A lawyer at

Ragsdale, Hersch & Klein.

- What did he do?

"Do"?

For a living.

Lawyer. Ragsdale,

Hersch & Klein.

- It doesn't

make sense.

Why would you go

to all the trouble

of stealing a big-screen TV

and leave a DVD behind?

Poor guy

The only thing

goin through my head

was her

Everything okay, ma'am?

Yeah. Sure.

Those are some

pretty nasty bruises.

Would you mind if I

spoke to her for a minute?

Knock yourself out.

Charlie, what is it?

Why would God fill me

with this desire

If I wasn't

meant to be with her?

Sometimes some time apart

is the best thing.

I could arrange that.

Would I get to

stay in the house?

A temporary

restraining order

would keephim way

for...90 days.

But permanently?

You'd have to get a lawyer.

Do you know one?

Yeah. I know one.

She called you?

Yes- I didn't call her.

She tells me things

are going badly with Randy,

so I thought

maybe I could helpher out

and introduce her to

one of the guys in my office.

In fact, I did, I once introduced her

to this other attorney,

Greg, who's this...

...guy who was murdered.

Anyway, she Just knew

that Karen and I were having problems.

Were you?

Yes, you could say that.

Sexual problems?

Hey, you know...

Okay, if you want

to label it, yeah.

But I'm not saying

it's Karen's fault.

Was it your fault?

Maybe it was

Karen's fault.

Was there sex between

you and this woman?

Yes.

You want it now,

lawyer boy?

- Yes! Yes, please!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

What happened there?

Wh-why'd we stop?

What?

I need to ask you

for a favor.

Anything at all -

anything!

Um-hmm, um-hmm.

I'm gonna need

some legal advice soon.

You got it!

You got it.

You aren't Just saying that?

- You got it.

You want this?

You like it?

Can you helpme?

Anything!

- Say it!

I will give you

legal advice.

Say it!

- I will give you legal advice!

- Say...it!

I'm saying, I will give you

legal advice.

Yeah?

- Whooah!

- She whipped you?

- Yes.

With a whip?

- Yes.

And you en Joyed it?

Yes.

Charlie

I spent so much time

going by her house,

ifyou didn't know

my intentions were pure

you d think I was stalking her

Hello.

Hi.

I looked for any excuse

to go see her

I spoke to

a friend of mine

about helping you

with keeping the house.

Oh, good. Thanks.

I, uh, I Just

wish I had known

a bit sooner.

See, I already sort of contacted

this other lawyer.

Well, if you'd

rather use him -

It's Just that I'm not sure if I can

get my retainer back.

Well, lawyers-

They'll always try to

find a way to screw you.

Yeah.

Well, I-I better -

I, uh -

- Yeah?

I was making

some supper...

If you'd like to...

It's nothing special.

Surely this was

the hand of God.

How do you mean, Charlie?

In an instant I was transformed

from a broken man, made whole.

It was like Theresa

had been brought back to me

She even looked like Theresa -

The way she moved,

The way she smiled

# Her skin is like velvet #

# Her face cut from stone #

# Her eyes when

she's smiling... #

Can I helpyou with that?

- No thanks.

I'll be right back.

She even made linguini

with tomatoes and onions

like Theresa used to

Linguini with

tomatoes and onions.

Jeez.

What's that?

Oh - Nothing.

Probably Just a cat

got into the garbage.

Bread?

- Thanks.

How come you never

wear a uniform?

I'm a detective.

Sometimes I do,

it depends.

I bet you look

real good in it.

I couldn't wipe

the goofy smile off my face

I was so happy

Because of her

I lost my Job,

I lost my house,

I'm an accessory

in not only one, but two murders.

- Shh!

Randy:

I couldn't stopthinking about her

Okay, maybe I wasn t

allowed on the property,

but that didn't mean I couldn t

keepan eye on her

And then

she did something

that sent me over the edge

I knew I had to

do something

something drastic

to salvage

what little I had left

I got the ten thousand.

Bingo parlor, right?

Burmeister:

Yeah.

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