P.S. I Love You

I know I should know this, darling,

but are you mad at me?

Baby. Holly.

I did something, right?

I did something bad, right?

Should I know what it is?

Or is it something

maybe you just think I did?

No, no. I did it. I did it.

It was a bad, bad thing I did,

and I'm so sorry, luv.

Holly, come on, will you?

Holly, wait. Baby...

...you have to let me in on it.

Or are you waiting until we're in

the apartment before you talk to me?

Are you gonna make me

sleep in the bathtub again?

Oh, no, I don't know what I said.

- You said it. You know you said it.

- No, I don't know what I said...

...but I didn't mean it.

- You mean everything you say.

Sometimes I mean nothing

when I say something.

Something is never nothing.

It's always something.

Most of what I say is nothing.

Just something to say.

Men say it's just something to say

to get away with saying something...

...but they know they're saying something.

- Say what? What did I say?

You said at my mother's, you

would have a baby but I'm not ready.

To my mother! You might as well

have said I'm a lesbian.

Well, I am the only man you ever had.

Oh, I dated Timmy Harrison

for four months before I met you.

- Isn't he a woman now?

- Aah!

You told my mother

I didn't want children!

- I did not. I didn't say that.

- Yes, you did.

- Yes, you did. You said exactly that.

- I did not.

I didn't say that you weren't ready to

have a baby. I said that you wanted to wait.

Which means I don't want one right now.

- Right.

- Thank you.

Wait a minute. I'm confused.

Can I get a ruling on this?

No, you're not confused.

You're just wrong.

"Holly doesn't wanna have a baby."

We had a plan, Gerry.

To wait to have children

until we could buy an apartment...

...put 25 percent of each paycheck

into a separate joint account...

...with a 6.25 interest for 5 years.

Why didn't you tell my mother that?

Ha-ha-ha. Each paycheck?

Darling, you only just started

getting regular paychecks.

- You quit five jobs in two years, remember?

- Well, I can't work for idiots.

- They can't all be idiots.

- Yes, they can.

They can all be idiots.

And why didn't you tell my mother...

...about the business loan you and John

took out without asking me?

Oh... Aha!

You see, you... You finally said it.

- I knew that's why you're angry.

- That's not the reason.

It is not the reason.

- It is the reason.

- We should have waited.

Waited for what? What? I've been

driving limos for four years, Holly.

So John and me, we wanna start a business.

We buy a few cars, we get a few clients.

That's a career right there.

What is your problem?!

What if it doesn't work?

What if we always have to live here?

And what about what I want, huh?

You think

I wanna be a real estate agent...

...showing apartments to buy

that I can never live in?

There may be other things

I wanna do with my life.

- Okay. Like what?

- I don't know. Other things.

Then quit, all right? The job makes you

cranky at home every bloody day anyway.

- You wanna have a baby? Let's do it.

- See?

- I hate when you do that.

- Hah. Do what?

"Let's have a baby." La-la-la!

In a five-floor walkup we can barely move

in. I'd change diapers on the windowsill.

You have to have a plan. You can't act like

everything's just gonna work out by itself.

Why do I have to be

the responsible grownup who worries?

Why can't I be the cute, carefree

Irish guy who sings all the time?

Because you can't sing

without making dogs bark.

Look, Holly, people have babies

with no money all the time.

If you're so worried about it, why don't

you stop buying designer clothes?

I buy everything on eBay.

It doesn't count when you're wearing

Marc Jacobs from Minneapolis.

Do you want to have a baby?

- Do you?

- Yes, I do.

- See?

- See what?

I know what you're really saying

even when you don't say it.

You mean the two conversations thing.

The one we're having

and the one you think we're having.

You said that to my mother because you're

mad at me for not wanting children yet...

...and because I'm no fun anymore and

we don't have enough hot, nasty sex...

...because I'm always bitching about bills.

Why don't you just be honest and say it?

Say what you mean.

All right.

I wish we had more hot, nasty sex.

Or the other kind is fine.

What you're really saying is this

isn't the life you wanted, is it?

Well, that's not what I'm saying.

Is that what you're saying?

And what if this is it, Gerry?

What if this is all there is to our life?

- What do you mean?

- It means this is it.

We're a married couple

who own a limo company...

...who may or may not have children,

end of story.

- Well, what other story do you want?

- I don't know. L...

What do you want, Hol? What?

Because I'm tired

of trying to figure it out.

You want a bigger apartment?

I'll take a second job.

You want a child, you don't want a child.

What?

I know what I want because

I have it in my hands right now.

Do you?

Do you know what you want?

Because you better tell me now

if I'm not it.

Or what? You gonna leave?

- You want me to leave?

- If you wanna leave.

- Don't use me as an excuse.

- I'll leave if you want me to.

Then leave if you wanna go.

- Don't push me.

- You wanna leave, just say goodbye.

Oh, that's me bollocks!

- Stop acting bilingual.

- Oh, kiss me arse.

Kiss mine in English!

Are we finished now, luv?

Can I come back?

Yeah.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry, luv. Ahhh.

- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I said the wrong thing

to your mother.

God, I still get nervous around her.

I still think after nine years,

she doesn't like me.

I know I'm being stupid.

No, you're not being stupid, baby.

She doesn't like you.

Really? And I thought deep down,

she really loved me.

No, she doesn't.

I was 19 when we got married.

And you corrupted me

with sex and charm...

...and the longer it takes you to make your

fortune, the less sexy and charming you are.

Hmm.

What? What are you looking for?

Me balls. They were hanging there

a minute ago.

My mother said it was a mistake marrying

you because I loved you too much.

"It won't last."

I don't wanna make any mistakes, Gerry.

Well, you're in the wrong species, luv.

Be a duck.

My baby.

We're not a mistake

just because we don't have any money.

And we are gonna last.

You know how I know?

Because I still wake up every morning...

...and the first thing I want to do

is see your face.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I see people buying bigger apartments

and having babies.

I get so afraid sometimes

our life's never gonna start.

No, baby.

We're already in our life.

It's already started. This is it.

You have to stop waiting, baby.

And Hol, you can't keep eating

me head off, telling me to leave.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not your dad.

Or don't you know that yet?

I should get my shoes.

They're all over the place.

They're gonna think I don't love them.

Whoo!

Shake it, baby.

Do the stomach shake.

Whoo!

Oh! Ow! Aah! Ooh!

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