Parker's Anchor Page #4

there was something wrong.

- No, I already, I talked to Kevin.

He filled me in on everything, so.

- Oh, well good.

- Is the baby okay?

- You know?

- Yeah, yeah, it's super-exciting, right?

For me more than anybody.

I'm sure the baby's fine, though, I mean,

Corinne didn't sound like too concerned or.

- Yeah, it's really great.

- Are you sure you're alright?

- Yeah, just personal stuff.

- Well, you want to talk?

I mean, I am a person, so I think I'd understand, like,

person-al stuff.

- Wow, you really are Kevin's brother.

- [Jared] Yeah, that I am.

- Same stupid sense of humor.

- Wow, stupid, I wouldn't call it stupid.

That's not very nice.

I mean, oh, wait, you're from LA, right?

So when you say stupid, you really mean cool, right?

Like, yo, son, that joke was stupid, oh.

So thank you.

- Yeah, dog, that joke was hella stupid, yo.

- Yeah, see.

- I need to just find out if she's fine.

- Okay, you wait, doctor comes in, I'll go check on her.

- Can you check on her now?

- I'm weighing myself.

Wait.

Sit down.

Pregnant. - You go.

I don't care, go, check on her.

- I'll check on her.

- Okay, yeah. - Yeah.

- [Krystal] Wow, you know me so well.

- [Jared] I do, you're an easy read.

- You bring the real me out.

- Yeah, I do.

This office is stupid.

It is stupid, this is a weird office.

The doctors are wondering what we're talking about.

- I'm so embarrassed (laughs).

(upbeat music)

- I mean, what kind of card says,

I'm sorry you were in a car accident, glad you're okay,

and glad to hear the baby's still safe,

and you're a goober, Kevin.

Which one says that?

Oh, how 'bout this one?

- [Krystal] What does it say?

Siento mucho lo de tu carro pero que bueno

que el bebe, bebe esta bien

What does that say?

- Exactly, see, that's what I'm thinking.

They don't speak Spanish, either, so this can mean

whatever it is they want it to mean,

or what we want it to mean.

- I like it, but if there was an option B,

I'd be very interested.

- Okay, fair enough.

- [Krystal] I'm really sorry about before.

- What before?

- In the waiting room.

I just, I waited my whole life to be pregnant

and start a family.

- Yeah, yeah, I was a little surprised you weren't, uh,

a little happier.

that I am unable to have kids, no little anchor for me.

- Anchor, that's an odd thing to call a kid.

- No, yes, no, it's, um, my dad used to call us

his little anchors, we kept him grounded.

Like the best thing that ever happened to him,

little anchors that kept him from floating adrift.

- That's nice.

- Yeah, well.

- Yeah, you know what I think?

I think you're a little sad.

- It gets better.

My husband found out and left me,

because family is super-important to him,

so he decided that he should leave me.

- What a jerk (growls).

- [Krystal] Yeah, what is that for?

- I don't know, that's a good question, it really is.

For someone you hate, you know?

- Yeah. - It's working, though,

for what I'm trying to do.

- Oh yeah, it's great, good stuff, keep it comin'.

- Um, so to answer your question, that is why I am here,

and I don't know how long I'm here,

and I just realized that I need a new sofa to stay on,

because mine's about to get really crowded with a baby.

I need to find a new couple that has a nice couch

and I don't have any friends here.

Do you live here, do you have friends I could steal?

- You want to steal my friends?

- [Krystal] Yeah.

- That's weird, yeah, unfortunately, I mean,

ever since Kevin and I came from Maine,

I've sort of been here part time,

so I don't really have, like, a buddy to call on.

Actually, you know what?

I could introduce you to some nice women I work with.

They're a sweet bunch.

- I could use a bunch like that.

- Oh, well, good, we'll get you a bunch like that,

a whole bunch of 'em.

You know what we should do, though?

We should get a bunch of those balloons.

- Yes, we can put it in or on their car

to distract from the damage?

- I like that thinking. - Yeah.

- That is great thinking.

- I know, proactive here.

- So no cards except for this one,

because this one, we are gonna send to that jerk in LA.

- Seriously, what card section is this?

- [Jared] Wow.

- [Krystal] Seriously.

- Think he overreacted a little bit because of the baby?

- Their poor kid.

- Yeah.

Hey, kid, you want some balloons?

and I don't really love chocolate, so if you love chocolate,

I'd love for you to have these.

- [Kid] I love chocolate, thank you!

- [Jared] Absolutely, good, yeah, have a great day.

- [Kid] Thank you so much.

(upbeat music)

- [Krystal] What else do you know about him?

- [Corinne] Nothing except his name is Clinton.

- Wait, who are we talking about?

- My mom's new boyfriend.

- His name is Clinton, how old is he?

- I don't know, 50s, 60s, 70s, I don't know.

He's my mom's age.

- You sure, 'cause Clinton's like an old person's name.

- [Krystal] Are you telling me

that everybody named Clinton is old?

- [Jared] Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying.

Clintons were babies? - What are they doing?

- [Jared] They get their names changed.

- [Kevin] They're here.

- [Jared] When they're 65.

- [Laurie] Mommy's here!

Thanks, be careful.

- [Clinton] Hey.

- [Jared] You got it all, you got it?

Oh, hey, anything else?

- [Clinton] No, I'm good to go.

- [Jared] I'll grab those.

- [Laurie] Thank you, darling.

- [Jared] I'll get your jacket.

- I'm fine.

- No, no, I got it, come on. - No, no.

- [Jared] It's Clinton, right?

- [Clinton] Yeah, yeah, it is.

- [Jared] Cool, nice to meet ya.

- I generally go by my middle name, Seth.

It helps me to not feel like such an old guy.

- Oh, come on, Clinton doesn't sound old.

Well, Clinton's much cooler than Chet, yeah?

- No, it's Seth.

- Yeah, Chet.

- Seth, like, in the Bible.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, Chet, that's what I said.

- You know, let's just go with Clinton.

- Cool, let's do it with Clinton.

Let's get Clint a beverage, please.

- [Clinton] Yeah, that would be nice.

- So, Laurie, how did you and Clint meet?

- Oh, at that cruise I went on last month.

- [Kevin] Oh, that's nice, see, I've never been on a cruise,

but I've always wanted to.

You recommend 'em?

- Yes, yes, I do.

- We've just been reading about all the bad things

that have been happening on cruises,

so makes me a little nervous.

- Well, I've been on a lot of cruises,

and I haven't had any problems yet.

- You're a fan of ye old cruise, huh?

- Actually, um, I work for them.

- Oh, what do you do? - That's cool.

- I'm a dancer.

- [Kevin] You're, I'm sorry, you're a dancer on the ship?

- Yeah, you know, like,

nightly entertainment for the guests?

- [Krystal] Mm.

- So you're like a dancer, like,

like with the whole fancy outfit and everything?

- (laughs) Well, most nights, the attire is pretty nice,

but there are those nights when things are casual, you know.

- Mom, is this for real?

- Yeah, he's an amazing dancer.

- Oh, I couldn't take my eyes off of him,

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