Pirate's Code: The Adventures of Mickey Matson Page #2

and I'm talkin minimum--

13 OSHA guidelines

since I stepped aboard

this st in kin' boat.

Two things, Bobby Lee.

First, this is not a boat.

It's a ship.

Secondly...

Call me Admiral

or Ironsides

or Admiral Ironsides

or Your Highness,

but never again refer to me

as your Uncle Joey!

What happened to your

face, Uncle Joe-oh, Ironsides?

Old Admiral?

Not that you're old.

If you do, I'll joyfully tie

an anchor around your necks

and send you

straight to the depths

to meet Davey Jones himself.

Please, let me

introduce you to Tesla.

Well, hello, Tesla.

No, Bobby Lee,

that is Martin,

our resident genius.

This is Tesla.

Well, what's it do,

Uncle-Admiral?

This is the cure, means

by which we will implement

a new code for humanity.

So it makes

quite a ruckus, huh?

You have no idea.

Gramps, this is

Sully Braggington.

Cool, I've heard

a lot about you,

mostly that you were dead.

You come exactly

as advertised.

It seems like a rotten thing

to do to your grandson,

being dead

but not really being dead.

It sends a mixed message.

You got sick, Gramps,

and it made sense

because your--

The pacemaker,

workin' just fine.

Truth is I was

never even sick.

My parents still don't

even know you're alive.

I understand how you felt.

It hurt me to see you

go through it,

but doing the right thing

isn't always easy.

Keeping you safe was

the right thing to do.

Well, let's go for a walk.

The world has changed.

It used to be if bad guys

wanted to hurt someone

they'd do it face to face,

but not today.

Today they hide in shadows,

scared of organizations like us,

so we went underground,

beat them at their own game.

When they come

out of hiding

and want to do

our country harm--

Take 'em down.

Oh, yeah, baby.

It's hard for 'em

to prepare for a foe

they don't even know exists.

Sir, we got a problem.

What do you got, Evan?

The Lumber Port

footage, sir.

I have high resolution

on my phone.

What is this?

Security cam

from a breakout

at the Lumber Port

Correctional Facility.

That bald guy's

a Copperhead.

We put 'em away

last year.

When was this?

Last night.

Well, technically

this morning,

but, you know,

potayto-potahto.

And we didn't see this.

Joseph Lee?

Who?

Admiral Ironsides.

Still getting all this

digitized into our new system.

These all your old

sandbox buddies?

Yeah, I know him

as Joseph Lee

when he was a young officer

of the Coast Guard.

He was impetuous

and undisciplined.

After he left my charge

a tragedy occurred.

When tragedy meets

poor character,

it doesn't end well.

A real ladies' man.

Last I heard he was

in Eastern Europe

calling himself

Admiral Ironsides.

He was pillaging ships in

the southern trade routes

with a crew

of modern-day pirates.

His hands...

...is that?

A harpoon.

Wicked.

So how do we

get started?

Huh?

Well, first what we gotta do

is get you through initiation.

It's important

that you two realize

that what we do here

isn't a game.

The stakes couldn't be higher.

We uncover new threats

every day,

and our country is

depending on us.

Assessment and creative problem

solving are skill sets

that are essential

to what we do.

Al! of these critical

skills work hand in hand

with high-level,

interpersonal interaction

to fill the most-important

single element in the arsenal

- Of the Secret Order-

teamwork.

Congratulations.

What is this?

And why does it smell

like wet dog?

I've played capture

the ag before.

This is nothing like

capture the flag.

The rally point is about

100 yards away from here.

The rest of the team should

already be there, got it?

We got bogies on our 6.

I have an idea.

No, we stick to the plan.

Our teammates

are waiting on us.

No, we got this,

don't we, Sully?

You better be right

about this, country boy.

Great.

This isn't good.

Now!

Watch it, dude.

I'm from Chicago.

Maybe we should be enrolled

in the advanced class.

Yeah?

Well, you're in luck.

That class is now in session.

Any ideas?

I had the last idea.

Come on.

You're not the only one

from Chicago.

Player eliminated.

All hype, no hero.

Player eliminated.

You guys had us.

We never even saw that

flanking move coming.

Yeah, well, our new recruits

decided they had a better idea.

Hey, they were pretty

good for their first day.

You want "pretty good"

watching your back

on the next operation?

No.

Mickey, come on.

Don't let it get to you.

Hey, hey, Admiral.

What you got us doin"?

Pedaling.

Yeah, the pedalin' I get,

but what exactly are we doin'?

Providing coolant

for the Tesla.

Don't stop pedaling.

At a certain point she's

gonna get real bright.

This is normal.

Just close your eyes

and keep peddling.

He should close his eye.

Always pedaling.

Always.

Always.

Always pedaling.

This is curious,

Little Brother.

Oh!

Why they stopping?

They must always--

They destroy my machine.

They are imbeciles!

And moron!

I'm aware.

That's why we need them.

Bobby Lee!

This thing's

a gettin' rowdy!

You must keep pedaling,

remember?

You provide the coolant.

Yeah, but I don't remember

you saying nothin'

about no gator-sized sparks.

Run for your life,

little brother!

I feel all fuzzy.

Stop!

The pulse could kill you.

Whoa!

Steady the patient!

Imbeciles!

Moron!

Well, you're still alive.

Well, of course we are.

Wait, why wouldn't we be?

Hang on, now.

What in the name

of Jefferson Davis--

Those imbeciles.

Ah, ah, ah!

Aaaggghhhh!

They fry my Dulan motor!

Moron!

Ah, my baby!

My baby!

Ooh-ooh!

Oh!

Oh

Oh!

The light was energy,

an electromagnetic pulse,

to be exact.

That's why the coolant needed

to be pumped manually

until the timer hit zero!

Admiral!

Admiral!

North Bay...

...she's dark.

You've done it, Admiral.

Ya done it!

Yeah!

We did it!

So what are we celebratin'?

The world's liberation, mate.

That blast fried every

electronic device on earth.

How's about a speech,

Admiral?

Aye.

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

I dreamed of this moment

for almost 10 years.

It's a reality because of my

friend, Serbian genius,

Martin Sekulichick.

Today the world

will call us villains,

tomorrow its saviors,

but forever you will be

able to declare

that you were here

when the world--

It's the wife.

Hello?

No, no I gotta go.

I'm busy right now.

Okay, I love you, bye.

I'm sorry.

Bring me the box.

Gunner team leader.

Gunner team leader.

This is gunner

team leader, over.

Are you there, Admiral?

Start the operation now.

But that'd be

ahead of schedule.

I realize that, but we're

talking on an electronic device,

and that would mean that

the Tesla was not successful!

It's the imbeciles.

They don't pump.

They destroy my work.

Which part did they destroy?

The core, the Dulan motor.

Where do we get

another one?

Admiral, Admiral,

I know where to find--

Now you two stay put.

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