Porky's Page #2

- What are you talkin' about?

- But beware of King Kong.

Wait a minute. Come here, Fred.

- Hi, Miss Walker.

- Hi, Pee Wee.

- Tommy, Miss Walker's hot.

- Pee Wee, she just said hi to you.

Yeah, but did you see

the way she said hi to me?

Right, Pee Wee.

Boy, Miss Balbricker,

you put a lotta weight behind that one.

Coach Goodenough, would you kindly

keep your balls off my tumbling mat?

- Beg your pardon?

- The basketballs. Keep them in your court.

- I have little enough room as it is.

- I'll take care of that, Miss Balbricker.

Thank you.

- The girls' tumbling team just went in.

- Heck, those broads never take a shower.

- What about the majorettes?

- They're still out there.

- Yeah, well, keep lookin'.

- Ginny just went in.

Hey! You're not allowed

to think about her with her clothes off.

You aren't even allowed

to look at her with her clothes on.

Little dip.

Hey, Tim. I was thinkin',

maybe we oughta invite Brian tonight.

Why do we gotta invite a Jew?

All we need now is a Communist

and a spic and we'd have the whole bit.

You're really the tolerant type, Cavanaugh!

I notice you're still includin' yourself.

Broads are broads. I just don't see

why we gotta invite a kite.

Brian's a good guy.

Why don't you give him a chance?

- He's ajerk, and a Jew jerk at that.

- All right. We won't ask him.

You're a case, Cavanaugh.

- They just went in. Miss Walker's with 'em.

- I gotta put my shoes on.

You wouldn't know what to do

with Miss Walker even if she told ya.

Billy...

Billy.

Let's go. Come on.

Dammit. We missed 'em.

Kong.

- Dammit. I told you we were gonna miss 'em.

- That's OK, Pee Wee. We'll get 'em next time.

Miss Walker. A real

woman, and I missed her.

You're about to get laid by an exotic dancer.

That's a real woman.

Yeah, you're right.

I gotta go home and warm up.

Warm up?

- Slow down. It's about a quarter of a mile.

- Will they find this place?

- They'll be there. I took Conklin.

- I drew Cherry a map.

- Cherry?

- Cherry Forever.

- Cherry Forever?

- Her professional name.

- Bullshit.

- Her professional name.

Hot damn! Let's step on it.

OK. The coast is clear.

Let's go.

"The coast is clear."

Do you believe this dialogue?

Hey! Hey! Hold it.

What's goin' on here? Where are they goin'?

- They're goin' first. I'm sloppy second.

- I'm second.

Come on, Meat. If you go first,

nobody else'll be able to touch the sides.

Jeez.

OK. Cherry's ready.

- Everybody get their clothes off.

- What's this bullshit?

- She's gotta make sure you're clean. No VD.

- How's she gonna tell by lookin' at us?

She's done this so many times

she's practically a doctor.

And who's gonna inspect her?

You guys wanna get laid, or have a debate?

OK, I'm ready.

I'm gonna get laid.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

Hey! Come on, boys. No strippin',

no dippin'. Come on, let's go.

Watch me go.

- Come on, man.

- Relax, will ya, for cryin' out loud?

Wait a minute. How come

you guys ain't gettin' undressed?

- We got inspected last week.

- Lucky you.

- OK, Cherry.

- Come on, make a line. Look sharp.

Gentlemen... Gentlemen.

This is Miss Cherry Forever.

Cherry, this is Steve.

Hi, Steve.

Cough.

- And Cherry, this is Pee Wee.

- I'll say.

What do you use for ajockstrap, kid?

A peanut shell and a rubber band?

We might have to tie a board across his ass.

He's liable to fall in.

Bastard, Tommy.

Save your energy, Needle-Dick.

You're gonna need it.

And this is Tim.

- Hi, Tim.

- Howdy.

Cherry, meet Frank Bell.

Frankie?

It's crooked.

You been screwin' around corners?

And the pride of Angel Beach, Anthony

Tupperelo - affectionately known as "Meat".

My God, the boy's deformed.

OK, let's move it out.

- Yo.

- You guys take a number,

and sit down.

- We'll just be a minute.

- Yeah, we know.

- That boy really is deformed.

- I know.

- Billy, this is John Conklin.

- Hi, Conklin.

OK, Cherry, sit down.

- She touched your nuts.

- At least I got nuts.

Hey, wait. I got sloppy seconds,

you got ticklish thirds,

you got filthy fourths, you got

fall-in fifths, you're slippery sixth,

and you scrape her off

the mattress, Mickey.

OK, Cherry. Cherry, get it started.

Go ahead.

- Timmy, that's disg... Will you stop that?

- It wouldn't bother him.

Don't stop.

Come on, keep pumpin', baby. Yeah.

- You're next, Pee Wee. You're next.

- We're gonna get laid. Oh, she's hot.

- They're gonna sh*t.

- They're gonna sh*t.

They're gonna sh*t.

They're gonna sh*t.

Come on, Billy.

Go ahead. Go on.

- What are you guys doin'?

- Yeah, let's go.

- Give it to her, Billy.

- Oh, Billy. Keep pumpin'. Yeah.

Keep pumpin', Billy.

Come on, keep pumpin', Billy.

Tommy? Come on, baby.

Come on, Tommy. Get over here.

Don't stop. Billy. Oh, Billy.

- Oh, Billy. Oh, Tommy.

- Oh, sh*t.

Keep pumpin'. Come on. Come on, Billy.

Come on. Yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, Billy. You're so good I can't stand it.

Come on, baby.

Don't stop.

Oh, man. This broad must be from Brooklyn.

Come on, don't stop.

Hey, Cherry. Break the window.

What's goin' on? I'll kill you, white boy.

What the hell was that?

We didn't know she was your wife.

Besides, it wasn't me, it was him.

- You're both dead men.

- What's this bullshit?

- I'll kill you all, you peckerwoods.

- Look out, Tommy. Look out.

No.

Oh, sh*t.

Come on.

This way, Meat. Meat, this way. Run. Run.

You... you sons of b*tches.

Wait, wait. Wait. Meat's still runnin'.

Come on, let's get him, guys.

- Slow night.

- Don't worry. That'll change soon enough.

What'd I tell ya?

Can't wait to hear this story.

I think I know that kid. Pee Wee Morris.

- The basketball player?

- A friend of Mickey's, my brother.

- Well, what should we do?

- Pull him over.

OK, pull over.

OK, let me see your driver's license.

Hey, Jarvis. I got

somethin' you can blow on.

Hey, Mick. It's your brother.

I got somethin'

you guys lost in the Everglades.

- You bastards. You left me out there.

- We thought you ran all the way home.

- If we hadn't seen him, he would have.

- Funny! A brother act.

- Tommy, where are my clothes?

- They're in my car.

Stop it, Meat. Come on.

Come on, let's go.

Cindy and I are bringin' the kids over

on Sunday. I'll see you then?

Get rid of the beer, Cavanaugh.

I'm sorry about that, Officer Jarvis.

See you later, boys.

Tim. You get your ass over here.

Ginny, why don't you and

the girls go inside?

- Yes, sir?

- I heard you ran tail-ass from some n*gger.

- No, we didn't.

- What's that?

Who is this guy?

- Tim's old man.

- Just got out of prison.

You get your ass on home, boy, right now.

- Shoulda left him there.

- What was he in for?

Manslaughter. Killed a guy in a fight

and tore his ear off with his bare hands.

Guess my old man's

not such a bad guy after all.

What are you lookin'

so glum about, Pee Wee?

Look, man, I gotta get laid. I go more

than a coupla weeks, I getjittery.

- So you're due for a nervous breakdown.

- Funny, Tommy. Real funny!

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