Porky's 3: Revenge

Year:
1985
277 Views


The hopes, the dreams...

the aspirations of a

striving peopie...

for a better world to live in.

The future is with us today.

Their bright, shining faces...

are ours.

These young people will

sally forth for us...

carrying the banner of decency...

love, honesty...

intelligence...

and they wiil forge

our coming worid.

They wilI be our hairdressers...

undertakers...

automobiie salesmen...

sex therapists...

interior decorators...

gynecologists...

and perhaps...

a president of our united States.

And today...

we celebrate their beginnings.

I proudly give you...

our graduating class.

Pat Rosen...

Robin Gallup...

Mitzi DeBelia...

David Marwood...

Kimberly... Oh, Jesus.

Kimberiy Ann... Bah!

Jonathon Martin...

Max Ciooney,

Jefrey Jay Numan...

Jennifer Grant,

Inga Johansson...

Edward Morris...

Pee Wee! Pee Wee!

Pee Wee! Pee Wee!

Pee Wee! Pee Wee!

Pee Wee! Pee Wee!

Pee Wee! Pee Wee!

Pee Wee! Pee Wee!

Pee Wee! Pee Wee!

Pee Wee! Pee Wee!

Pee Wee! Pee Wee!

Pee Wee! Pee Wee!

Pee Wee! Pee Weei

You're gonna be late

for school again.

- Do you intend never to graduate?

- Mmm.

Where'd you get it?

My cousin at Southern

Methodist sent it to me.

How long can we keep it?

Long as we want.

He says we're sexually ignorant.

- I guess we'll see.

- Yep.

Hey, you guys!

Wait'll you see what we got!

Hey, hold on. Pee Wee's

telling us about his dream.

- So then she takes out this gazoombie.

- Gazoombie? What's that?

You kn... You know.

Num-nums, choo-choos, tits!

You know, she flashes everybody right

in the middle ofthe graduation ceremony.

The biggest gazoombie I ever saw.

This girl was practically deformed.

Then Carter steps on my gown, and the whole

graduating class is looking at my wiener.

They'd need magnifying glasses

to see your wiener.

It's more like a wienerette.

Oh, yeah? When they saw it,

I got a standing ovation.

They were standing

to get a better look.

At least I had something

they wanted to see, Wendy.

We've got something

you'll all want to see.

A stag film.

- A real stag film?

- You're too young, Pee Wee.

- Your growth is stunted enough.

- Come on, Meat!

- You gotta let me see it! You gotta!

- I don't know, Pee Wee.

This has got more beaver in it

than the entire state of Wisconsin.

They say you can go blind

from lookin' at stuff like that.

No, the only way you'll go blind

is by lookin' at it like that.

Yeah, well,

you got any better ideas?

Well, I am the president

ofthe Audiovisual Club.

Hey, guys,

what's he doin' to her now?

Ah, looks like he's tryin'

to take her temperature.

Yeah, without a thermometer?

Oh, I'm sure he'll

think of something.

Sh*t!

Look familiar, guys?

Yeah, looks like your entire arm.

That's disgusting!

Hey, you're blockin' my view.

Close the door, pecker-breath!

The light's comin' in!

Decency demands that the culprit

be thrown out of school.

These pupils don't

deserve to graduate.

They're sick.

They're perverted.

They're retarded.

Mr. Carter! Mr. Carter,

I demand to know...

what you intend to do

about this!

- Mr. Carter!

- Huh?

Oh. Oh, yes.

This is awful.

Awful!

Especially the woman

with the big ti... with the big ti...

Gazoombies?

I am ashamed at each

and every one of you.

What have you got

to say for yourselves?

Maybe you'd better explain to them

what will happen if the culprit...

who's responsible for this schlock

film doesn't step forward.

Yes. uh...

- What will happen?

- Expulsion!

- For all ofthem.

- Right, right.

Who is responsible?

uh, Mr. Carter...

I brought it in.

But I don't think the film

can be fairlyjudged...

without viewing it in its entirety.

How's that?

uh, he means, it's true...

there is some nudity.

- "Some nudity"?

- But I can assure you...

before the principal

performers disrobed...

- they were fully clothed.

- That's right.

- It's art.

- It's filth.

Disgusting, naked filth!

uh, Miss Balbricker, if I may be so

bold, that's your characterization.

They all had boners!

Mr. Carter, I will not stand here

and be accused of having a boner.

uh, this particularfilm

was, uh, directed...

by the infamous... Sven.

- Ah.

- Sven Svlinken from "Sveden. "

- Oh! Svlinken from "Sveden. "

- It's trash! Garbage! Gunk!

And we're late for class.

Oh, yes. uh, yes. Good idea.

uh, go back to your classes.

Except McCarty and Turner.

- I haven't finished with you two yet.

- Good luck, guys.

uh, when, uh...

When can we arrange a screening?

uh, I'll have to check the schedule...

because the projectors are sort

oftied up for the safety films.

- uh, safety films?

- You know... uh...

Come on, guys. Pick it up.

There's too much gloom around here.

Are you kiddin'? They're kicking

our asses out there.

Angel Beach hasn't been in the

state finals in over 20 years.

Maybe it's 'cause your cheers are crummy.

Why don't you get new ones?

- What's wrong with our cheers?

- Apparently, they're not working.

If you really want to help us...

why don't you throw a

victory party after the game?

Okay. Ifyou win, you got it.

And we're not talking about a milk

and cookies party. We want an orgy.

- Orgy?

- Yeah, I think Tommy has a point here.

That's what the Roman women did for

the gladiators after a big battle.

They threw a victory orgy.

- Forget it.

- No way!

- What do you think?

- I'm with you.

- I'm in.

- It's worth a shot.

- The slumber party cheer.

- Change the words?

- Let's do it.

- All right! Let's go!

Not you. Go on! Go!

Okay! Angel Beach,

strong and hardy!

Win the game, have a party!

We decided you were right! Put it

in the basket! fight, fight, fight!

Roman women give in, in, in.

use your balls and win, win, win!

Wow! Go!

The score is tied.

The game is tied at 70.

Twenty-seven seconds left to decide

who goes to the state championship.

Number four, Edward Morris...

replacing Crutcher

forAngel Beach.

Angel Beach!

Angel Beach! Angel Beach!

Angel Beach wins!

They're on the way to

the state championship.

Whoo!

- Meat! Meat!

- Yes.

Did you see the girl in the fourth row?

Beautiful. Blonde all over.

Oh, that's Inga. She's the Swedish

foreign exchange student.

That's the girl in my dream!

Buddy, your motor's running.

Why don't you save it for the orgy.

Good game, Coach.

What are you guys doing here?

You shouldn't be on

school grounds.

Yeah? What are you gonna do?

Give us detention?

Look, I don't exactly have

all the money right now.

I'll-I'll talk to Porky.

I can get the rest ofthe money

in about a month or so.

Now, look. You's the one

that come in to Porky's.

You's the one that got drunk.

Now, we asked you not to gamble.

I- I know. I got... carried away.

You'll get carried away again...

in pieces.

You heard it all, huh?

No, not a word.

So, uh, when is this orgy

supposed to begin?

As soon as my parents leave.

Theyjust wanted to say hello.

They're not gonna stay very long.

Neither are we.

Well, I guess we gotta be going.

That's too bad.

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Bob Clark

Benjamin "Bob" Clark (August 5, 1939 – April 4, 2007) was an American actor, director, screenwriter and producer best known for directing and writing the script with Jean Shepherd to the 1983 Christmas film A Christmas Story. Although he worked primarily in the United States, from 1973 to 1983 he worked in Canada and was responsible for some of the most successful films in Canadian film history such as Black Christmas (1974), Murder by Decree (1979), Tribute (1980), and Porky's (1982). more…

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