Porky's 3: Revenge Page #6

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He was wrong,

and he's sorry, aren't you?

Aren't you?

uh-huh.

All right.

Snooky...

Snooky...

Snooky...

Snooky.

Mr. Kelton, an old friend...

and former alumnus

ofAngel Beach High...

has generously offered

to donate his beautiful home...

and host the party for

this year's senior prom.

That's great.

But what about the Svlinken film?

Well, I, uh, guess

I'd better be going now...

and let the seniors

know the good news.

Thank you both so much. It-It's really

gonna mean a lot to everybody.

It means a lot to me.

uh...

Wow. Gosh.

Gee.

Zowie!

Snooky, I'd like you

to meet Edward Morris.

Hi.

How are you?

uh, Edward, have you met

our exchange student, Inga?

- Ja.

- Hey, guys! Come on, move it!

Oh, look at the nice people.

Isn't she pretty? Huh?

Looks like Goose is airing out

his Chevy again. We'd better walk.

Come on, buddy. Leave it there, Meat.

We're gonna walk in.

Shall we?

So it's really a drag, man.

We come all the way down here...

I win the state championships,

I bring the car here...

I put on this monkey suit,

and now I gotta walk there.

It's really garbage, man.

Get his legs.

Stop!

Now, I want you to tell those double

crossin', rat-faced basketball pricks...

that Porky finally

got his revenge!

Mr. Meat Tupperello

will be at no graduation!

He's signing on board the H.M.S. Pignuts

with me for an indefinite cruise.

- Do you understand me?

- That's kidnapping!

It's not kidnapping when he's

gonna be my son-in-law, girl!

And that he's gonna be!

We gotta get him. We gotta

get that fat son of a b*tch.

Okay.

Okay.

Good luck.

Yep.

This is the most important

day of my life, you understand?

It's not every day that

my Blossom gets married...

and I don't want

nobody f***ing it up!

- You get that?

- I got it, Porky.

All you gotta do, girl, is come down

the aisle with him and give him away.

- And don't f*** it up!

- I won't f*** it up.

I'm gonna come down the aisle,

and I'm gonna give Meat away.

All right. You got it. Now get

your ass back to work. Go on.

What's the matter with you?

Can't you smile, boy? Huh?

- Daddy, I'm sorry to interrupt you...

- What are you doin' here?

There's a hooker, and she...

Don't you know it's bad luck

for the groom to see the bride?

- Get your ass back in your cabin!

- Come on, man. Lay off!

Come on. Give me

your hand, Meat. Come on.

Get up here.

Goddamn it.

Here. You gotta forgive me

for my temper, Meat.

But I'm glad to see my

son-in-law is a moxie guy...

'cause that's exactly what

I want from my grandson.

- What grandson?

- The one from you and Blossom, a**hole!

Now, what the hell you think

you're gettin' married for, boy?

Beats the sh*t outta me.

You know, I hope we

don't have to do that.

Aw, sh*t.

Those days are over.

Man, all I want now

is a young grandchild.

A little Porky. Somebody

to bounce on my knee.

Teach him how to hustle, beat people,

go fishin', break heads, kick ass.

Somethin' to be proud of.

Carry on the family name.

What in the hell are you cryin' for?

You look so beautiful.

You're supposed to

cry at weddings.

Not at my wedding.

I want happiness.

Smile.

This is a pleasure boat.

Thank you, Daddy.

Dearly beloved...

we are gathered here today

to join this man...

and this woman in the bonds

of holy matrimony.

For better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer...

in sickness and in

health till death...

Holy Moly!

Good God!

What's happening to this place?

Give me my lights!

Where's my lights?

- It's us! It's us!

- Listen, man. Thank God, man.

I mean, I really want to thank you guys for

saving me from the old ball and chain.

Tell us about it later.

Let's get outta here.

All right, all

right, all right.

uh, how do we, uh...

How do we, uh, get outta here?

He can't swim.

Gus! Freddie! You up here?

Where the hell are you when I need you?

Lenny!

Where the hell you guys been?

- In the dark. The lights went out.

- No foolin'.

- Jesus!

- Oh, my God.

- Like raising the Titanic.

- Goddamn it. Hey!

Come on!

I know you're out there,

you little bastards...

and I'm gonna find you!

There you are, you candy asses!

Hey, ugly! Hey, pig man!

I'm gonna get you.

I'm gonna chew up your asses!

Sooie! Soo! Soo! Sooie!

- What are you doing?

- I'm antagonizing him.

Will you get the motor started,

for Christ's sake!

Sooie!

- He's comin' after us.

- That's exactly what we want.

- Come on, fatty!

- Get 'em with the paddle wheel!

Come on, Porky! Sooie!

Hey, piggy!

Bet you can't catch us!

- You tub of sh*t!

- Give me full speed!

- Start the motor!

- Okay.

- Burn it!

- I can't!

- What are we doin'?

- Come on! Row!

- Full speed! More power!

- Row!

- Full speed!

- Faster!

- Come on!

- More power! Power, I said!

Hey, get the troopers! Get the

Marine Patrol! I got another suicide!

Come on!

Come on!

Lady, please don'tjump!

I have to.

I have to be with him.

Him? Him?

He's gone.

Yep. Real gone.

He's a real gone guy.

- More choke!

- Come on!

F*** you, fat man!

Soo! Soo! Sooie!

See if you can squeeze your

fat ass underneath this bridge!

Sound your horn!

You're nuts.

Lady, please.

I gotta open the bridge.

You gotta open the bridge.

I gotta jump. That's life.

Everybody's got

something to do.

Okay, you big dip!

See you out in the ocean!

Bye!

I'm comin' after you,

you bastards!

- Now!

- Now!

You know we got a bridge

comin' up our ass?

- Reverse the speed!

- We don't have a reverse.

- Then cut the engines!

- All the goddamn gears are jammed!

- You, give me a hard right rudder!

- We don't have a rudder!

A**hole!

Open the goddamn bridge!

Bridge tender,

you son of a b*tch, wake up!

Open the f***in' bridge!

Open! Oh, God!

Daddy!

And so as we say

fareweil to our youth..

and our carefree days

offroiic and frivolity..

we are going out into a iargerworid...

Well, Wendy, I gotta hand it to you.

You really did it this time.

Yeah, this is gonna be

the best graduation ever.

So when are we gonna do it?

- Do what?

- Didn't you tell Pee Wee about it?

- Of course I told him.

- Tell me what?

We're all gonna flash

when we get to the podium.

- Flash what?

- In your case, not much.

Oh, you didn't think I fell for that

practical joke of yours, did you?

What practical joke?

About not wearing clothes

underneath our gowns...

and when we get to the podium,

mooning the audience.

Chickened out.

I knew it.

Oh, yeah? Then how come you guys are

wearing clothes underneath your gowns?

It may look like we're dressed,

but in fact...

cut-offs.

Go ahead. Just reach down

under your gown. Take 'em off.

- Should I?

- No one will see.

You can do it, Pee Wee.

- Just be subtle.

- I'm subtle.

They wilI be our governors,

our lawyers, our surgeons..

our physicists, judges...

He's a strange boy.

You raised me a very

strange grandson.

A president of

our united States.

Today we ceiebrate

their beginnings

i am proud to give you

our graduating class.

Okay, so by the time Inga's

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