Pot o' Gold Page #2

No. The neighbours are...

Uh-oh. Here comes trouble.

As you can see, Miss McCorkle,

I'm here with the law.

For protection?

No. This is your last warning.

That music must cease!

I'm coming, Molly.

What does this weasel want?

As if I didn't know. No violence.

Speak to her, officer.

Hello, Mom.

You're in bad company.

I'm here to give you an ultimatum.

That band are disturbing

the entire neighbourhood.

The entire neighbourhood? Does

it disturb you, Mrs Papadalis?

No. It keeps me young. Disturbing

the peace. And you, Mrs Sweeney?

My old man can't fight

when he hears music.

They will, will they?

The hoodlums, the ruffians.

Go back to your kennel and tell

old man Haskel what you've heard.

What's going on? You've heard

of the Hatfield and McCoy feud?

This is between the McCorkles

and the Haskels. Who? Come on.

What are you doing?

Looking for a nice soft one.

Oh, quit kicking me!

Look out. Now, just a minute.

Just a minute. You might miss him.

Down.

You hoodlums! You'll pay for this!

Now.

Stand aside...

I hit the wrong man.

No, you hit the right man.

Run! No, wait. Come on.

They got me. It's blood!

I've been shot. I've been stabbed.

You're all right, CJ. I'm not

all right. Call an ambulance.

It isn't blood, CJ. It isn't blood?

What is it? Tomato juice.

All's clear. Come on in.

Boy, you sure do know

your back yards and fences.

I'd have been faster without you.

I didn't want you to carry my case.

Have a doughnut, hero.

It's the best I can offer.

Hero? Me? You certainly are.

They may put up a statue of you,

like the discus fellow.

It was an accident - hitting my...

that man. It was a stroke of genius.

Everybody hates Haskel. Why?

I could give you a reason for every

dollar he's got in the bank.

He's trying to drive us out because

he hates music. What a stinker.

The name of Haskel

is poison around here.

It is?

Well...

I guess I'd better be going.

What's your hurry?

I have to find a place to live.

I was going to live with a relative.

If you'd like a place

where there's never a dull moment...

What's going on? What do you want?

He needs a place to live. Are

you in a band or are you paying?

This is the fellow

that hit Haskel with a tomato.

Oh, glory be.

You darling!

Why didn't you tell me?

So, you're the fella.

Don't look any further. You're

living with us. Give me the bag.

That's nice, but... No buts. The

best room is none too good for you.

Whether you can pay for it or not.

Give me the bag. ..Willy!

We've been looking for you.

I've finished that arrangement.

Take this bag up to the big room.

Does anybody else carry anything?

Stop grumbling.

Let me see it, Horace.

These changes are swell.

Slide over, Frankie.

All right, boys, let's go.

# Say, when he starts to play

# The kids begin to trail him

And they all say

# Hooray for Pete the Piper

# And when he plays a song

# The kids never fail him

They sing a song

# Along with Pete the Piper

# People gather round

when they hear the sound

# The Campbells are coming,

Hooray, hooray

# When their lively feet

catch the piper's beat

# They start to sway

# And then it isn't long

Till all the folks are dancing

# Their hearts are gay

When he plays them a song

# When he's done all that

They pass the hat

# For fascinating Pete the Piper Man

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to butt in.

Get 'em, boys.

I didn't mean to bust things up.

Quiet, please.

Can you read music? Sure. Play it

like this. Me? Stand over there.

OK, Frankie, pick it up.

# People gather round

when they hear the sound

# The Campbells are coming

Hooray!

# It won't be long

Till all the folks are dancing

# Their hearts are gay

When he plays them a song

# When he's done all that

They pass the hat

# For fascinating Pete the Piper Man

# Fascinating Pete the Piper Man. #

Boys, look who's here. Grady.

Grady!

Oh, Molly!

Grady's been pounding the beat

out by the dumps.

A little argument

with old man Haskel.

You should have been here.

You'd have been even for life.

What happened? Oh, boy. Plenty.

What they call poetic justice.

It must've been good.

It was perfect.

Well, come on. Come on. Out with it.

Old man Haskel came steaming over

here, and he got hit with a tomato.

Right in the kisser.

It was a soft one, naturally.

The hit-and-run kind.

Nobody knows who did it, I hope.

Nobody but me. But I'm big-hearted.

Boys, meet the sharpshooter.

Molly McCorkle, will you never

learn to keep your big mouth shut?

What did I say? Too much.

Open up, boys. Open up.

Open up. Open up.

My boy, you should have a medal.

Instead, I have to give you this.

Thanks very much. What is it?

A warrant for assault and battery.

Old man Haskel swore it out.

Come on, son.

Wait. Wait a minute.

Wouldn't you like to give me

a good kick before you go?

It's OK. It's been fun here.

I enjoyed jumping over those fences.

If I get this thing straightened

out...I hope you let me come back.

And thanks for that doughnut.

It was... It was all right.

Er...well, come on, Grady.

Yeah, yeah.

Next case.

Hold everything.

We'll be right there.

Molly, where are you? Come on!

Order! Order in the court room!

Mrs McCorkle, sit down.

Listen, Mike.

Don't get on your

high horse with me. Sit down!

Now, what's this case all about?

Young man, what's your name?

My name?

I'd prefer your real name.

Er...well, my name is...

James Hamilton...

James Hamilton. Put that down.

Where do you live, James Hamilton?

He lives with us.

419, 63rd Street.

Tell me, James, how did you get

enmeshed in the coils of the law?

I threw a tomato.

He's too modest, Mike.

Hit him with a bull's-eye

right in old man Haskel's face.

He did?

Where were we? I'd just thrown

the tomato, Your Honour.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Now tell me, Jimmy, my boy,

did you with premeditation

and intent aim at Mr Haskel's face?

Well...

He refuses to answer on the grounds

that he might incriminate himself.

You certainly know the law.

Having weighed the evidence,

the court rules

that the case be postponed

and the defendant released on bail.

Provided anybody has any money.

Is 200 enough?

That was the exact sum

the court had in mind. Who has it?

I have it, Your Honour.

The clerk will accept it.

Next case. Thank you, Mike.

Stand aside, please.

Move over Who are you pushing?

Take it easy, will you?

Don't push me!

Here comes double pneumonia. Open

the windows. I smell stale tomatoes.

Very funny, Mrs McCorkle.

Very funny.

I wish it'd been you who threw that

tomato. I'd have put a rock in it.

You would, would you? Well...

Proceed with the case, judge.

I'm here.

Where's the man that assaulted me?

I'll conduct this case without any

advice from you. That's telling him.

Move along.

In you go.

All right, take it away, Eddie.

I bring a charge against the hoodlum.

Before I give evidence, he's allowed

to walk out right under your nose.

First, he wasn't under my nose.

Second, he was released on bail.

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