Pot o' Gold Page #3

Third, you're in contempt of court.

I sentence you to 25 days or 25.

That ain't enough, Mike.

Quiet.

This is an outrage, a travesty

of justice. 50 dollars or 50 days.

What? Make up your mind. It's worth

50 to tell you what I think.

Is it worth 100? All right.

But you wait until the next election.

You wait until... I'm waiting.

Until... Your Honour, it appears

that I haven't any money with me.

Take him away, bailiff.

You can't do this to me!

You can't do this to me!

# As he sang

# In the evening

# By the moonlight. #

What about

Johnny Toots His Horn?

We don't want that.

We want something to pick us up.

Johnny Toots His Horn. What did

you say? Johnny Toots His Horn.

Do you know it? Yeah. Let's see.

# You gotta get up, you gotta get up,

You're in the army now

# Johnny blows the bugle

Knows the call from A to Z

# But he's always at his best

When blowing reveille

# Mmm-mmmmmmm

# When Johnny toots his horn

# Disturbing the peace at break

of the dawn. You gotta get up

# You're in the army now

# Before your eyes are open

You're dressing on the run

# Standing at attention with the

sergeant's hat and corporal's gun

# Oh, Johnny blows and blows

He toot-toots you into your clothes

# Then makes you rue the day

that you were born Day you were born

# There's nothing anyone can do

# The captain has to make it through

# You've gotta get up

When Johnny toots his horn

TAPPING:

# La la-la la la

# He toots you out of slumber

He toots you out of bed

# He toots you into line, then he

goes somewhere and hangs his head

# But still he blows

and blows and blows,

blows and blows, blows and blows

# Blows and blows and blows,

yeah, yeah

# He wakes you with his crazy tune

Goes to bed and sleeps till noon

# You've gotta get up

When Johnny toots his horn

# He stands behind the barricade

And plays his morning serenade

# The private gets up

The corporal gets up The sergeant gets up

# The captain gets up

The major gets up The colonel gets up

# The general gets up

The army gets up You gotta get up

# When Johnny toots his horn

# When Johnny toots his horn. #

Music? Even in jail I hear music.

You'll get used to it.

Let me down. Take your hands

off of me. Stop this nonsense.

You're nothing but hoodlums!

Jimmy, my boy. Uncle Charlie,

fancy meeting you here.

It's a miscarriage of justice.

They can't do this.

Why are you here?

Just another country boy who got

mixed up with evil companions.

What's wrong?

Too many prisoners.

Someone sneaked in. What?

Defrauding the taxpayers,

that's what it is.

Gangway. Line up there. Line up.

You, what's your name? Haskel.

OK. We've got a Haskel.

Stand over there.

What's your name? Haskel.

A wise guy, huh?

I suppose you're all Haskel.

Yeah.

What's your initial? James H.

I got no James H nothing.

So you're the stowaway.

You ought to be locked up.

James, my wallet is in my office.

Get it and pay my fine.

I'll be right back. So long, fellas.

So long, Jimmy.

Hey, can you sing?

No. I hate music. We've got to

do something about this, boys.

Say "Ah"!

Ahhhhhh!

Hey! Jimmy, where have you been?

Yeah, yeah.

Well... Me? I...

I'll have to... What's the matter?

We've been looking all over town

for you. What for? What for? Come on.

Hey, here's Jim.

Molly, Jimmy's here. What did I say?

I knew he'd come back.

Where have you been?

I got locked up by mistake.

You had the boys worried.

They thought you'd run out on them.

So what? They pawned

their instruments for your bail.

Molly's idea. Oh, well, thanks.

Nice to know

I'm worth 200 on the hoof.

First call for dinner!

You're back. You'll eat at the

first table. Look after him, Molly.

Don't touch a thing. Get up,

all of you. What's the matter, Ma?

We've got a new member to the clan.

You sit here.

Willy, get up. Stop your grumbling.

Ssh!

# Hail McCorkle

# Hail McCorkle

# We proudly sing thy praise

# Mmm-mmmmm

# Hail McCorkle

# Hail McCorkle

# Where no-one ever pays

# Welcome to this university

for the fraternity

# Rah! Rah!

# Welcome to our little college

Hooray!

# And as we march along

# We'll sing our college so-o-o-ong

# A knife, a fork and a spoon

# Will beat out a happy tune

# You'll all feel chummy

as you fill your tummy

# With a knife, a fork and a spoon

# Start tap, tap, tapping a dish

# You'll get your favourite wish

# Send troubles dashin'

while you're corn beef hashin'

# With a knife, a fork and a spoon

# At Ma McCorkle's table

That's where we play each night

# We eat all that we're able

# Though we may fuss,

It's home to us

# So come on lift up your cup

# Let's drink it down, bottoms up

# Through stormy weather

We'll all stick together

# With a knife,

a fork and a spoon. #

# We're gathered round the table

# We're real friends through

and through

# We're gathered round the table

# To eat Ma's Irish stew

# Ma's Irish stew

# Boarding house, dear boarding house

# From here we'll never roam

# Oh, boarding house,

dear boarding house

# To us you're home sweet home. #

Say, that was all right.

You're now a member

of the McCorkle clan.

Do I make a speech? If you do,

you'll starve to death. Irish stew.

There you are.

Tomatoes? Thank you.

Well, help yourself.

No tomatoes.

What's the matter? Nothing. Nothing.

Er, would you excuse me?

I don't feel very well.

Too much excitement.

Maybe you're right. The jail and

everything. I'll get some fresh air.

Willy, you'd better go with him.

Sure. You don't...

Maybe I'd be better off

if I went up to my room.

Willy, show him his room.

I do everything except eat.

If you want anything, just holler.

Home sweet home. Thanks.

# When Johnny toots his horn

Disturbing the peace

at break of the dawn

# You gotta get up

Toot-tootly tootle...

No, no. It's outrageous.

You're getting better.

I don't want to. I hate music!

You're so unreasonable.

All right. All right. All right.

Try it again. Put in some gesture.

# When Johnny toots his horn

Disturbing the peace

at break of the dawn

# You gotta get up

Toot, tooty toot-toot

You're in the army now

# Before your eyes are open

You're dressing on the run

# The corporal's got the sergeant

at attention with his gun

# When Johnny blows and blows, he

toot-toots you into your clothes. #

Jimmy!

Where have you been?

You'll be sorry for this.

Look what they've done to my voice.

How am I going to broadcast

the Happiness Hour?

Couldn't you call it off? What?!

Say you lost your voice singing

in a jail. Don't be ridiculous!

Ladies and gentlemen, due to

circumstances beyond our control...

We bring you the Haskel Happiness

Hour.

Makers of Haskel Pattycakes

the health food supreme.

HE CROAKS:
Ladies and gentlemen...

I can't do it. I'm croaking.

Jimmy, you do it. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Mr Haskel will be with you soon.

Ladies and gentlemen! Ssh! Ssh!

Tonight, I want

to share a little poem with you.

We...all should be grateful

and happy as kings,

The world is so full

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