Pot o' Gold Page #5

Hello, Mr Baccus.

What's this meeting about?

To discuss the programme.

I'm in charge during Mr Haskel's

absence. He trusts me. Not 100%.

I beg your pardon? My uncle has

given me charge of the programme.

It didn't take long to undermine me.

You could have written it.

There'll be no changes...

I'd like to talk to you.

Yes, we should talk this over.

I'll be right back.

I'd like to make other improvements.

Go right ahead.

I'd like to use a band.

No. We have loads of bands.

My uncle hates this one.

It drove him up to Canada.

Why do you want them on his

programme? It'll give them a break.

Then they'll have to thank my uncle.

He'll feel good. Up in Canada?

There's a feud going on. A feud?

Then there's a girl.

Oh, a girl. Yeah.

Sounds pretty confusing,

doesn't it?

No. It sounds pretty good. It does?

You play Thursday night

at the Eastchester Country Club.

How did you do it? I talked, he

listened. I'm as surprised as you.

How much do we get for it?

Nothing. You don't get anything.

What of it? We don't get money

for playing to the neighbours.

At least this way there's a chance.

I'm sold. What can we lose?

It's OK with me.

Give me a push.

Bon soir, monsieur.

What did he say? Bonsoir, monsieur.

You made me walk for hours

to get to a place

where no-one speaks English!

What kind of a guide are you?

Avez vous a machine, talkie-talkie?

I don't think so.

I've got a good one right there.

I'm not a peddler. This one's busted.

I want to hear an American programme

at eight o'clock. Help yourself.

Here. Get this avalanche off my back.

Oui, monsieur.

"Oui, monsieur."

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

We're about to start our broadcast.

Well, boys, here we go.

Good luck.

Are you scared?

Just take a deep breath.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

The Haskel Happiness Hour

'from Eastchester Country Club.'

Country club?

The first appearance

of a new band...

Music? On my programme?

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm Horace Heidt.

The first number is Broadway

Caballero, featuring Molly McCorkle.

McCorkle?

And here she is, the charming Molly.

# He's disarming, alarming

Charming and gay

# First, he steals your heart

Then he throws it away

# He will tell you

of tropical nights

# Make you dream

of a thousand delights

# First, he'll hold your hand

Say you're simply grand

# Soon you're thinking his way

# Caballero

He's never been south of the border

# He's never been Argentine way

# When he starts to pet

The chances are you'll forget

That he's a Caballero from Broadway

# South on Broadway

# He'll hold you and say "Senorita,

right here in my arms you must stay"

# And from his dialect

You'd never suspect

He's the Caballero from Broadway

# South on Broadway

# His daytime,

he spends parading on the Avenue

# Then, later, you'll find me with

a girl or two and a third in view

# He'll take you

to all the gay places

# He'll make every Latin cafe

# He'll give you such a thrill

Then he'll hand you the bill

# This charming

Caballero from Broadway

# South on Broadway

# When Madame Lazanga

learned the conga, I swear

# I gave her the lessons,

then I gave her the air

# It seemed to be love in bloom

And then suddenly, boom!

Another girl took over from there

# I know if you meet him

you are likely to fall

# His methods are sense

because he catches them all

# He'll sing you a serenade tenderly

played on an old mail-order guitar

# He'll bring up

the subject of dancing

# And all of his pupils will say

# He's such an awful crumb

but no-one dances the rumba

like the Caballero from Broadway

# South on Broadway

# He'll tell you he lives in

Argentina's biggest house

# But we know his hacienda is

a boarding house run by Senor Klaus

# He's such an impetuous fellow

He's like a dog having his day

# This phoney Don Amigo

Really comes from Oswego

# For a Caballero from Broadway

He does OK!

# You'd better lock your heart or

he will tear it apart

and then it's

just the start and you're in trouble

# You think you're up on top

but you are due

for a drop because

your dream will pop like a bubble

# He's the kind of man

that you'll never forget,

the diamond Caballero from Broadway

# Way down south on Broadway. #

Molly, you were wonderful.

Put this on before you catch cold.

Louderman said the band are worth

1,500 a week. 1,500 a week?

That means we're a success!

I've been double-crossed.

Get me a drink.

Bands. Country clubs. The McCorkles.

Get me a drink, do you hear?

I want to tell you something.

It took you long enough.

This is something

that's been worrying me.

You don't know anything about me.

So what? You're you and I'm me.

Well... There you are. You thought

you'd made an impression.

I'll tell your uncle about it.

CJ won't pay for your philandering.

Is Haskel your uncle?

Yes. If you just let me explain.

It's all perfectly obvious.

Sneaking into our home, pretending

to help us. Please let me explain.

What a cheap trick. You are

a Haskel. Molly, they can hear you.

That's fine!

Hello, everybody.

I have good news.

Every week, Mr Haskel,

who sponsors the programme,

is going to give away 1,000

in cash.

1,000 a week?! That's a lie!

Isn't that generous, folks?

Now, Mr Haskel,

trick your way out of that.

I've got to get home. How long

will it take? It'll take two days...

How long did it take to get here? A

week. You'll make it back in a week.

Let's get started.

Jimmy! Jimmy! Congratulations.

That was a marvellous idea.

How did you think of it?

It came out of a clear sky.

"The Haskel Happiness Hour

announced

that 1,000 a week

would be given away."

I read all the papers.

Here's Mr Haskel.

Your uncle's attorney - Mr Chalmers.

How do you do? Sign this paper.

What is it? A statement that you

did not authorise that announcement.

She did it to damage your uncle.

Sign here.

Wait a minute.

Don't worry.

We can get judgment

against the McCorkles.

We can take their property.

Your uncle's been trying to do that

for years. Sign here, please.

I don't like to be pushed around

or sign anything I haven't read.

Get out of here!

Don't hit me again. I have glasses!

Mr Haskel...

Good day, sir. Good day.

Beautiful, Parks.

Thank you, sir.

Why don't you answer the phone?

Hello? Oh, Jimmy, my boy,

how are you?

You want to talk to Molly.

Well, I don't think

it's a very good time to...

Just a moment.

Fight your own battles.

I'm not doing it for you.

I don't want...

Well?

I hate to annoy you

but this is important.

That 1,000 offer was my idea.

Just don't argue. If anybody asks

about it, follow Grady's advice.

Don't tell me to keep my mouth shut.

Why should I?

If you don't,

they'll take your home.

I don't need your help. ..What?

Don't be stupid.

I'm doing it for Mom and the boys.

Oh!

Excuse me, sir. Mr Louderman

and Mr Samson. Have them come in.

Hello.

Hello, Jimmy. Congratulations.

Your programme was a knockout.

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