Ride 'Em Cowboy

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Ladies and gentlemen,

here is tonight's

extra special attraction.

That ridin', ropin'fool,

your western pal and mine,

Bronco Bob Mitchell.

"Bunko" Bob Mitchell!

That phony's never been

west of the Hudson River.

How about all

those books he wrote?

I Fought Cattle Rustlers.

I Caught Horse Thieves.

I caught him where it hurts.

Read my column today.

If it's true, it'll be the biggest

scoop of the year. Sure it's true.

I'm making book at 10-to-1 Bronco Bob

doesn't show up tonight or any night.

Bob, you've never been on a horse in

your life. I'll bet the horse knows it.

Forget the riding. Walk out

there and sing 'em a song.

I'll tell 'em

you've got a broken neck.

Pete, you saw what Martin

Manning wrote in his column. Yeah.

Do you want my public to

think he's right? He is right!

I admit starting all this Bronco

Bob buildup to sell your books but...

Mr. Mitchell, you're

on. But can he stay on?

Not that side, the other

side. Even I know that.

Anne, you should be gettin'

ready for the contest.

And miss a chance

to hear Bronco Bob sing?

That $10,000 will

wait a few minutes.

Give me my saddle

And let me ride

The painted hills

I love

Where I can speak

with passing stars

And touch

the moon above

Give me my saddle

And let me go

Up where

the rivers start

Where I can let

a western breeze

Go singing

through my heart

They must have used

a magic brush

To paint the West

so fair

I know it must be

just a step

Up to heaven

from there

So give me my saddle

And while I live

I only want to ride

The purple hills

and have my love

A-ridin' by my side

So give me my saddle

And while I live

I only want to ride

The purple hills

and have my love

A- ridin'

by my side

A-ridin' by

My side

Giddyup.!

Come on, boy.

Giddyup, faster. Come

on, giddyup. Giddyup.!

Woo-ooo!

Giddyup, giddyup.

Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo.

Giddyup!

Hey, Willoughby, get off that

horse before the boss catches you.

Look out, Duke.

I'll run over you.

Get off that horse, I'm

warnin' you. I'm playin' cowboy.

You know what the boss told you. What?

The next time he catches you

playing cowboy he's gonna fire you.

Yeah? Come on, help me sell this stuff.

Duke, did you see me? I was standing

next to a real, live jackass.

Did you ever ride a jackass? No.

You oughta get on to

yourself. Come on. Peanuts!

I get it.

You think I'm a dummy?

Hot dogs, red hot!

Hot dogs!

Hot... dog!

Mmm-mmm.

Did you ever ride a jackass? No.

Jump on my back.

No.

Manning, did my boy convince you he's

the real thing? So he can ride a horse.

That doesn't prove he's the great

western hero his books say he is.

Won't anything

ever convince you?

I'll make you a little...

Excuse me. I'll have a hot dog.

Hot dogs.!

Don't push!

Peanuts! Hot dogs! Get 'em

while the manager's hot.

Boy, five peanuts.

Boy, five peanuts.

Five peanuts, right?

Here you are.

Here's one, two, three,

four and a half, five.

The man wants five bags

of peanuts. Oh, five bags.

What a business I'm doin'!

One, two, three, four, five.

50 cents. Right. Here it is.

Peanuts, popcorn.

Hey, Duke. Come here. What's the matter?

The guy threw 50 cents

and... Well, look for it.

What's the matter?

Bashful.

What happened? Where

did it go? Down the back.

Uh-oh!

Don't look.

Wait a minute. Get her to

stand up. Maybe it'll fall out.

Get her to stand up? Sure.

I beg your pardon, madam. Do you

mind? Could I get you a better seat?

No, thank you.

I'm very comfortable.

Besides, I paid

a dollar for this seat.

You just got

50 cents change.

Come here.

What?

I'll get her to stand up. You

get the coin when it drops south.

Okay.

Go ahead, go ahead.

You don't

have to stand up.

I'm going downstairs.

Ooh!

Hey,

did you get it?

I missed it by a foot. It

went down her shoe. What?

I beg your pardon. Are

you comfortable? Yes, I am.

If you want to make yourself feel

at home, you can take your shoes off.

Listen, if you don't

hotfoot it away from here,

I'll call an officer.

- Hey, hotfoot.

- Hotfoot?

Hey, I told you to peddle

those peanuts. Now get goin'!

I said get goin'!

Okay, boss.

I hope those vendors

weren't annoying you.

They are

persistent salesmen.

They may be persistent,

but they're not salesmen.

Look out for the manager. I'd

like to give him a hotfoot too.

Those fellows

burn me up.

Ooowww!

Did you get it?

Ooo-ooo.

Hiya, partner.

There he goes.

He just went...

Don't push.

I'm not pushing.

Don't talk so loud. We don't want

to go out till we know we're clear.

Don't push. Get over! I'm not pushing.

Will you get over?

Get over yourself.

Hey, Duke. Quiet. What?

Where did you pick up the

fur coat? What fur coat?

Oh, it's a pretty... It's a pretty... Ohhh!

Another five minutes of you signing

autographs, I'd have had a nervous breakdown.

No, Miss Anne.!

Miss Anne.

Are you all right? I'm all right.

Nice piece of bulldoggin',

miss. Get him out.

Are you hurt,

Miss Anne?

I'm okay, Joe.

Okay.

You sure you're not hurt?

It's just my leg, Ruby.

Mean ol' bull.

I'm terribly sorry.

So you're Bronco Bob,

the pride of the West.

You certainly looked it. Any real

rider could have sat his horse...

and bulldogged

that steer himself.

Get out of here

before somebody comes.

This young lady may be hurt.

You want to lose that contract?

Tell him to get out of here. If

this gets out, he'll be ruined.

Go on, Mr. Mitchell. I wouldn't

dream of hurting your career.

Come on, beat it, will ya? Ruby.

Miss Anne! Miss Anne! Let's

get her into first aid.

We're sorry you got hurt. It's our fault.

Duke and I were running

to hide from the boss...

and I let the cow's husband

out. He means the bull.

Bull, nothin'.

It's a fact.

That's all right, boys.

It wasn't done intentionally.

Tell one of the attendants to

bring up a stretcher. Yes, sir.

She'll be all right. I'll phone

the hospital and make arrangements.

Hospital?

Hospital?

I've gotta ride in the finals

tonight. Out of the question, miss.

That may be only a sprain, but

I'll have to x-ray to be sure.

The next event,

ladies and gentlemen,

the finals of the women's

trick-riding contest,

America's greatest cowgirls

risking life and limb...

for that grand prize

of $ 10,000.

Can I come in?

Hiding from

your public?

No, and thanks to you

I still have one.

I wanted to tell you how

sorry I am that you got hurt.

Any girl would gladly sacrifice her life

to save the great Bronco Bob Mitchell.

Everybody tells me that you'd have

been a cinch to win that $10,000 prize.

You'd make me feel better

if you'd accept this check.

I wasn't sure about the spelling of

the name, so I made it out like that.

What's the matter? Afraid that I'll

tell someone you're a four-flusher?

I wouldn't dream of disillusioning

your public, Mr. Bronco Bob Mitchell.

Now, take your check

and get out of here.

Did I just give the works

to that Martin Manning!

I made him admit you operated

that horse like it was a kiddy car.

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