Ride 'Em Cowboy Page #5

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This is awful.

Wait a minute. Twice in

the same place I got it.

Duke? It's a couple of

cowboys at target practice.

I know...

What's the matter with you? Hmph!

Disappointed, eh?

That's it, that's right.

You've got him.

How long did that take? 43

seconds, you're improving.

Yeah, but not enough. Bob, if

you'll just do it like this.

If she don't like him,

why's she doing that?

That's love.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Love is when you're

parked in a car.

What do you think?

You're all right.

There's nothing to it.

You expect me to do that? Sure, and better.

It was a great life

while it lasted.

Mount from the squaw side, the right.

Well, here we go.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

That's it.

Hold it.

That's it!

Bob!

Bob! Bob!

Are ya hurt?

Oh, Bob.

Bob?

Hi.

You faker!

What are you two

doing here?

We're just watching. Yeah,

she's teachin' him to...

To what? Two and two make four

and four and four make eight.

And eight and eight...

Then there's geography.

Get up to the barn.

It's milkin' time.

Do I have to milk

that bunch of cows?

No, not bunch, herd. Heard what?

Herd of cows. Sure, I heard

of cows. Think I'm a dummy?

No, a cow herd. What do

I care if a cow heard?

I didn't say anything

to be ashamed of.

Do you know

what a cow gives?

A cow gives milk.

No, she don't.

You gotta take it away from

her. Let's get over to the barn.

What are you doing

down there?

Tryin' to do this.

Don't lean on me!

Don't lean on me!

There must be a better way.

Can you move her over?

Move the stuff over.

Get off the finger!

Duke, she's on my hand.

Get it out. Get it out! Get it out!

Get it out yourself.

You milk her from the back.

From the back?

Certainly, not down there.

Cowboy! You've got to learn sometime.

Now what are you doing? There's

none of those things up here.

Duke, give me a pail.

Will you listen to me?

You milk her on the

stool. Oh, on the stool?

On the stool.

Now I know.

Get off there. Here. Stool.

Sit down.

Huh?

Not you, the cow.

What for?

I'm gonna milk her. No, no, no,

here, put that under the udder.

The other what?

The cow's udder.

Cow's other what?

Under here, please!

Sit down there. Milk the cow.

You mean under the crankcase.

All right, call it what

you want. Get some milk.

Get some milk.

No?

Come on, come on,

give me some milk.

Hey, you! Come on! Get in line!

I was here first.

What are you trying to do?

Why don't you pick on somebody

your size? I was here first.

I'm tryin' to get some

milk myself, you know.

After all!

Must have run dry.

Don't look at me. It ain't my

fault. First time I come here.

Hey, Duke! Duke, Duke. What's the matter?

Help me milk this cow. No, this is

a steer. A steer don't give milk.

No?

No!

Where does "steeralized" milk

come from? Make it snappy.

I'm dying for a drink of raw milk. Okay.

All you get in restaurants is

"A" milk and "B" milk. Bee milk?

Do bees give milk?

No, honey.

Thanks, dear. Oh, come on, get with it.

Oooh! A four-tube set.

How do you tune it in?

You can never trust

a woman, can ya?

Will ya cut it out?

Dare ya to do it once more.

She did.

Give me somethin'.

You do it once more

I'll...

Once more...

I guess

that'll hold ya.

Oh!

This is a fine time

to be sleeping.

Come on, get up.

Come on, wake up.

What's the matter? What happened? Come on.

What's the matter with you?

Peanuts! Hot dogs! Milk!

Uh-oh!

That's trouble.

Wait a minute.

This looks bad.

"We've got the Indian sign on you.

Get a wedding license ready or else!"

Or else? I'm gettin' sick and

tired of havin' Indians threaten me.

I'll give 'em 10 minutes

to get out of town.

How long? I'll give 'em five

minutes to get out of town.

How long? Give me 10

seconds and I'll be packed.

Are you gonna let them

get away with that? No!

That's a boy. I'll get

those dirty redskins!

I knew it was in ya. Which

way did these arrows come from?

That way! That way? Let's... go this way!

This lovely day

has lengthened

Into evening

We'll sigh good-bye

To all we've ever had

Alone where we have

walked together

I'll remember April

And be glad

I'll be content

You loved me once

in April

Your lips were warm

And love and spring

were new

But I'm not afraid

of autumn

And her sorrow

For I'll remember

April and you

The fire will dwindle

Into glowing ashes

For flames

and love live

Such a little while

I won't forget

But I won't be lonely

I'll remember April

And I'll smile

The fire will dwindle

Into glowing ashes

For flames and love

live such a little while

I won't forget

But I won't be lonely

I'll remember April

And I'll smile

This ought to scare the

daylights out of'em. It better.

I spent the best part of the day

carvin' that face. Rush it up.

Over here, across from

his bunk. Here they come!

It's dark in here.

Put on the lights.

They got me. They got me. Where?

Right in the middle of the excitement.

Somebody's tryin' to kid you.

Funny kind of kiddin'. Every time

I turn around you know what happens?

What? Some Indian lets go with

an arrow... right by my kisser.

Come on,

let's go to bed.

Hiya, partner.

Duke! Duke!

What's the matter?

It's only a dummy.

Look at it!

Those three boys put

that there to scare you.

They're very successful.

Touch it. It's only a dummy.

Feel it.

That's all there is to it.

Come on,

let's wash up.

I'm not scared

of you.

Willoughby, go get me the soap.

Go get me the soap.!

Go get it yourself!

Willoughby, go get me the soap.!

I'm not gonna get it.! No.!

Go get me the soap, Willoughby.!

All right.

That's better.

Dummy, eh?

I wish you was

the other guy you look like.

I'd let you have it.

Mmm!

Fine joint. Ain't even

a place to hang your hat.

I mean...

A knife, zip,

right through my hat.

That's ridiculous.

No.! Come on, come on.!

Hey, Duke!

It was right...

What do you know?

What do you know...

There's your hat and

there's no knife in it. No?

That hole wasn't

put there by a moth.

Come here, I'll prove

this Indian is only a dummy.

Get over here.

What are you afraid of?

Look. Look.

Now get with it and go to bed.

No more

of this nonsense.

Dummy, huh?

You look like a guy that

gave me Indian springwater.

The roof's leakin'.

I'd have sworn

that guy moved.

Did you move?

No.

I'll fix you.

Put this in your mouth.

That's good. I'm gettin'

hysterical or something.

I don't know.

It's only a dummy.

No dummy's gonna do that...

Come here. No, I don't want to go in.

I'm tellin' ya, he's alive.

I saw the thing...

What got into you

all of a sudden?

What are you afraid of? I'm

tellin' you this Indian's alive.

He done an awful lot of things to

me. You're crazy, it's impossible.

I'll show ya.

Go ahead, show me.

Now what?

What are you doing?

Nothin'.

It didn't work.

See him take a kick at

me. That's a dummy, dummy.

Well, he's alive.

Go on, get in bed.

What's the matter

with you all of a sudden?

That's no way to act. Get into

your nightgown and get some rest.

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