Roald Dahl's Esio Trot
- Year:
- 2015
- 88 min
- 612 Views
I don't know about you,
but to me there's something
The way even
the teenagers are wrinkly.
I bet that leads to some
awkward moments.
"Oh, Brian, I love you so much.
How old are you?"
"I'm 17. How old are you, Janet?"
"I'm 86." "Goodness me. You're old
enough to be my grandmother."
"Yeah, actually, Brian,
"I... AM... your grandmother."
But the story I want to tell you,
although it does involve tortoises,
it doesn't begin with a tortoise.
It begins with a man
called Mr Hoppy.
'Mr Hoppy, the hero of our story,
'lived in a nice flat
in an apartment block in London.
'There are three things
you should know about Mr Hoppy.
'He's kind...
'he's shy...
'and most importantly -
he's not that guy in the hat.'
Oh, are you OK,
Mr Mavrokoukoudopolous?
'He's the man in the lift.'
No rush, Mr Mavrokoukoudopolous.
I'm holding the door.
- Take your ti...
- Whoa!
Ah!
You care for a crisp, Mr Pringle?
Ah, yes.
Lovely.
'And don't worry if he doesn't look
the flashiest of fellows.
'I've learnt
that very often in life,
'it's the quiet, unassuming ones
'who turn out to be
the most interesting.'
I'll have to fix that.
Give me
Mr Hoppy lives alone.
'Either that or his family
are very small eaters
'and all having a sleep
at the moment.'
Bom bom bom...
'No. He lives alone.'
Give me a kiss
before you leave me...
'But don't worry,
'this isn't going to be one of
those stories where a lonely bloke
'wanders around a flat for two hours
'and then dies alone
of a horrible disease.
'It's going to be full of passion
and surprises -
'as indeed is our Mr Hoppy.'
Raspberry Cream,
meet Wisley Vanilla.
Oh, give me your lips
for just a moment
And my imagination
Will make that moment live
Oh, give me what you alone can give
two loves in Mr Hoppy's life.
One was his flowers
and the other was a secret love
he kept all to himself.
And like so many secrets,
it was the most important thing
of all about him.
Because Mr Hoppy was in love...
with the girl downstairs.
Good morning, Mr Hoppy.
Ah.
Mrs Silver.
Hello.
Hello.
By the way, our story
is mainly concerned with this -
the second love.
If you want to find out about the
flowers, watch Gardeners' World.
I mean, I like plants as much as the
next bloke, but this is very much
not a "will or won't the dahlias
blossom before the frost kicks in?"
type of thing.
Oh, wait, I think that's mine. Hey!
Hey!
Another absolutely gorgeous morning.
Yes. Gorgeous. Absolutely.
Another one of them.
The sort of weather that makes me
want to just
take off all my clothes and
dive naked into the nearest lake.
Don't you think, Mr Hoppy?
- Mr Hoppy?
- Yes.
Yes, yes.
Perfect weather for jumping
into lakes
wearing very little.
'Sadly, Mr Hoppy was so shy,
'he couldn't even ask Mrs Silver
round for a cup of tea...'
into a lake with her.
But he loved her.
And he remembered the precise moment
he'd fallen in love.
'Which happened to be
the first moment he ever met her -
'five years ago.'
Hold that lift!
Oh, thank you so much,
you darling man.
Oh, they won't be long.
- What floor are you?
- Four.
Oh, isn't that lucky?
I'm moving in on three, below you.
I hope you're not
keeping me up all night
with your hip-hop stylings.
No. But my name is Mr Hoppy,
in fact.
Hoppy. Oh, what a gorgeous name!
And do I detect a little
American accent there?
Well, yes, I am an American.
Oh, how divine.
Oh, you're a gorgeous bunch.
From Cary Grant to Paul Newman,
I can't keep my hands
off the lot of you!
Oh, I'm Mrs Silver. Lavinia.
Facebook status - widowed.
"I'm not in the Facebook".
No. Too busy living, I expect.
Oh, come in, boys.
We've held the lift.
Come in.
Would it be easier
if I maybe took the next one,
give you a little more room?
No, no, it's just getting cosy!
Wonderfully quiet lift.
- That's very good news.
- Yes.
I don't think anyone's
Oh!
I'm such a silly sausage sometimes.
Ooh!
You're four. I'm three.
Perhaps I should press two
and one as well and give us
more time to get to know each other.
'He never forgot
that first brief encounter'
and every time
he met her from then on
just made him love her even more.
Summer.
Don't you just love it
when summer finally comes?
Autumn.
Oh.
Always such a relief
when summer's over.
Mm.
'Winter.'
This is so much
my favourite time of year.
Spring.
Oh.
Spring at last!
Doing something special tonight,
Mrs Silver?
for a good old knees-up.
Funny when you think of it -
when we spent our entire careers
extracting babies from women
lying with their knees up.
Oh... I...
I didn't know you were a midwife.
Retired.
I just thought
if I can't have kids myself,
I might as well just help others
to have them.
How wonderful.
Well, perhaps you could come with me,
Mr Hoppy?
- You could waltz me off my feet.
- Oh, no. I... I...
- I'm not a dancer.
- Nonsense.
There's no such thing
as "not a dancer" -
just a person who's never found
You're American, for heaven's sake -
the land that brought us
Fred Astaire and John Travolta
and...
that naughty little
Justin Timberlake.
I know you can dance.
- No, no, I can't.
- Can!
No, I can't.
Can!
No, I really can't.
You bloody well can!
'He loved her and
longed for her to love him back
a lot of problems.
'For one thing, unlike Mr Hoppy,
Mrs Silver didn't live alone.
'Well, she did for a while, but
then she did something about it.'
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Oh! Well, hooray!
This is honestly the most
exciting moment of my life.
Come in. Come in!
'She just went
and got herself a new chap.'
A chap called Alfie.
Well... you are more gorgeous than
I could possibly have dreamed.
Oh, my darling. What heaven.
We're going to have
such a wonderful life together.
'From then on,
Mrs Silver dedicated all her love
'and attention to her
wrinkly companion.
'And although he wasn't the
world's greatest conversationalist,
'she did quite enough talking
for the both of them.'
Look, Alfie,
that's me on my wedding day.
I'm not so sure about that dress
any longer.
Rather too much bust, I think
you'll agree.
Oh, and that chap there -
that's my husband.
Look how tall he is. 6'3".
I only came up to his chest hair.
I never once saw
the top of his head.
More a giant than a man.
A wonderful posture.
He was a perfect English gent...
and a prize-winning dancer.
Oh, he was so, so kind.
The things we were going to do.
And the...
places we were going to go
and the...
...life we were going to lead.
Oh, that's enough of me gabbing on.
You must be exhausted.
Time for your nap, my gorgeous.
I love you so much. I really do.
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