Rock'n Roll Page #4

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He overdid it.

- You're a paramedic?

- Yes, sir.

I need help.

You drank a lot?

I'm cold.

I'm cold inside.

Okay.

Did you fall? Bump yourself?

No. I'm just cold.

It's not so serious then.

Okay? Let's recline a little,

stretch your legs out.

I'm scared I'll vomit.

No, you won't vomit.

You won't be so cold now.

Mr. Canet, you'll be alright.

I'm having palpitations.

That's normal.

It's a minor panic attack.

Just relax, you'll be fine.

There's a slight facial paralysis.

I already got that

before the shoot of Little White Lies.

I was told to stay off alcohol.

It's not good for you.

That's all you consumed?

A little cocaine.

I see. Large quantities?

A minuscule line. Fishing line!

Minuscule? It was pretty hefty.

That's not good for you either.

Be cool. Stop filming.

Please!

Come on, be cool. Stop filming!

Stop filming!

Unbelievable! Please!

My man Guiton!

How you feeling, Guigui?

Good siesta?

Sit down here.

Your new look...

Perfect, buddy.

You puked on your duds.

I did?

It was like dressing up a doll.

Real fun.

You put these threads on me?

F***, don't remember a thing.

Shot of vodka, Guigui?

A quick shot!

Just a little one.

Please, stop filming!

Hold on, isn't that my phone?

It is.

I dunno.

That's my son.

Hurry it up, will you?

Nearly done.

Gross!

Thanks.

Cute kid.

Thanks.

F***!

Nico Stables.

Where are you?

What about the horses?

Gimme all you got!

1, 2, 3, 4!

Move your asses, you dorks!

Smash the place up!

Incoming!

Is he dead?

Holy sh*t!

Pelt of a tripe!

What?

You're after laughin'?

Come on,

getting wasted for once...

Two million views!

We're not talking a glass of berry ocky!

Maybe you got more genius ideas,

but hold onto yer hat,

You don't wanna be at it, yer big lob.

Love a duck! I got my stun trip.

That's nothing, it's just a tattoo.

Look, a barcode.

To denounce consumer society.

Trying to turn me into a product.

Marion, you must understand.

My ballache has gone.

You see what that means?

Life was busting my balls.

I have a good time

and the ballache goes.

My body got that I got it.

My ball got it. I listened to it.

He tells me

he can't make his movie without me,

and bails on me

over a photo on Instagram?

A photo on Instagram

or a video on YouTube, could be either.

- Know what? Screw him!

- Pardon me?

I'm sick of this perfect image

people have of me.

I'm not like that.

I never was like that.

A few parts playing total jerks

and I'm the world's ideal son-in-law.

I wanna be rock'n'roll,

I want angry roles.

Something physical, you know...

Nobody sees you the way you think.

Get it into your head.

This crap online days before the Csars,

is that good for your image?

Look,

last year you spent more time

riding horses

than shooting movies.

I've quit riding. It sucks imagewise.

40th Csar Awards.

The winner of the Csar for Best Actor...

Imagine they both win!

They're a shoo-in.

Pierre Niney for Yves Saint-Laurent.

In the duel of Saint-Laurents, Niney wins

after nominations

for Best Newcomer in 2012

and 2013 for Comme des Frres

by Hugo Glin.

Jeez! Thank you so much.

A quick word for the nominees.

My six co-nominees. I have to say,

many of your films

inspired me as a kid.

Movies you directed or starred in.

At the theatre or on TV, whatever.

Evening.

- All okay, he didn't wake up?

- All good.

That's great.

Goodnight and thank you.

Goodnight.

May I?

Sorry, cocky.

- There.

- And the ring.

That's mine.

- Forgive me. Enjoy your evening.

- See you.

Come and lend me a hand.

There we go.

Tell you what...

If I got me a nomination,

maybe I wouldn't even go.

Firstly, I don't have a tux.

And secondly,

those things are totally rigged.

Are you done?

Your shitty mic's wired up?

No chance you'll be nominated.

"If I got me a nomination!"

Moron!

- You got that thing?

- Yes, I put it by your mark.

Thanks.

Put what?

Butt out.

Pissed off?

- About what?

- Last night.

I guess you're disappointed,

but Pierre totally deserves it.

So good, wasn't he?

It was like watching Yves Saint-Laurent.

He was Yves!

It was creepy even.

You knew Saint-Laurent?

Not especially.

Shut the f*** up then!

Sorry, we need to shoot this,

we're so behind.

What the hell!

We're here, waiting on you.

Do your job.

Guillaume, the guy's mind is made up.

He won't compromise.

I read the script.

If script's the right word.

Let's bring Romeo on set.

Complete silence, please.

Camera.

Camera rolling.

- Speed.

- Slate.

Scene 76, take 1.

And action!

Manon,

guess where Pops is taking you.

He's taking you to the park.

It's not Pops, it's Jean-Jacques.

How's my darling daughter?

What the heck's he doing?

Yes, little baby!

Jean-Jacques's taking you to the park.

Or, at least, he's gonna try.

Dad, I made you guys a picnic.

Stick your picnic

where the sun don't shine, b*tch.

Your lameass sandwiches.

Here! You b*tch!

You stupid a**hole!

Cut! Guillaume, what the f***!

Why'd you cut?

F*** it!

Why'd you cut?

You saw that in her eyes?

It was real!

Real f***ing cinema!

Don't try to understand.

Try to feel it in your gut!

That's it right there!

Film is in the moment!

Not on a piece of paper!

She was petrified!

I'm petrified, you jerk!

Who asked you

to play him drunk? Who?

You wanna f*** up my film?

- I'm not f***ing it up!

- What then?

I'm giving your dumbass movie meaning.

Three weeks!

Three weeks shooting sh*t!

Nobody tells you that.

Your arthouse piece of sh*t!

You promised

she wouldn't call me Pops!

I don't want her calling me Pops!

I'm 40 years old, dammit!

This isn't a role for me!

You scumbags don't understand sh*t!

If they'd listened to me,

the Csar was mine!

That's it!

No more getting shafted by idiots!

- Okay, Camille?

- No, not okay.

Look after Camille, please.

Call Alain. We need a meeting.

You need a meeting?

- Guillaume, knock it off!

- Cut that out!

LES PRODUCTIONS DU TRSOR

Attal Bros.

This is Guillaume Canet.

It's a mess. We're doing our best.

I'm with Yvan here.

We called him in. What can I say?

Seriously, the little sh*t!

I never saw anything like it.

The guy just flipped out.

Tell him to flip out

all alone someplace,

not toss wine in her face!

I know.

What do I tell Camille?

Should I call her?

Don't call her,

get him under control.

Seriously,

he can't pull that sh*t, Alain.

You get me?

That's the poster?

Sure I do.

Put yourself in my shoes.

Awesome!

That one's cool.

The others are sh*t.

I'll take care of it.

You'd better.

You bet I'd better.

I'll do everything I can.

He's a train wreck.

- He's your buddy, isn't he?

- Sure he is. It's not easy!

- What's up?

- Sit down.

A problem?

You're shitting me.

If you're alluding to Philippe,

hear me out.

If I'm "alluding"?

You sabotage a shoot

with a crew of 75 people.

Directed and produced

by buddies you've known 20 years!

And you breeze in

asking if there's a problem?

Clearly, this conversation

won't be constructive.

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